This post was ripped off inspired by a post at Budgets Are Sexy. In “I got Googled and I liked it,” J.Money listed some of the weird search engine queries that landed visitors on his site. Stuff like:
- Unprofessional clothing (“Flip-flops and bikinis. Everything else is a gray area.”)
- Orange sacrifices or children
- If someone commits suicide in a home, would their ghosts be there? (“SCARY!”)
- Sexy stories of wife sacrificing virginity for husband
- Cheap jungle tights
J$’s post made me laugh. It also made me start looking at the search engine terms that bring readers to Surviving and Thriving. There were some funny ones*, such as:
- Coffin in pickup truck
- Example of short slogan about Jesus
- Beautiful woman with a trach
- Cheapest gift for marriage, Indian price
A persistent theme, though, is nekkidness.
There’s a reason for that – and it’s not because I was a stripper before I was a writer.
My alter Aussie ego
“Donna Freedman” is the name of a character played by Margot Robbie on an Australian soap opera called “Neighbours.” Here’s how the show’s site describes her:
“You know when Donna Freedman hits the room. Sure, she’s gorgeous, free-spirited and creative – but she’s also too noisy, and too intense.
“Don’t be confused by the outward confidence – Donna is driven by a fierce need for approval and acceptance. And most people can smell that a mile off, which means she gets neither love nor acceptance. Which makes her try that little bit too hard.”
(Which could be where the “naked” part comes in – but since I haven’t seen the show, I don’t know if “try that little bit too hard” is code for “flashes the Eastside boys.”)
I expect that all the searches were done by blokes hoping to find photos of Margot Robbie as bare as a peeled onion.
It’s Monday – we could all use a silly post
Just for fun I connected some of the search-engine terms and strung them into a vague narrative. Don’t blame me. Blame J$.
Donna Freedman naked (Shocking!)
Wouldn’t life be perfect if shirts (…were off?)
What is trashing your roadsides (All those shirts?)
Donna Freedman sexy breasts (Well, now that my shirt’s off you can form your own opinion.)
Donna Freedman hairstyles (Who’s looking at my head? I’m naked! Or at least shirtless.)
Is Donna Freedman dead (No, but she could be naked.)
Is Donna Freedman pregnant (See what could happen once you’re naked?)
Get Donna Freedman’s look (Easy enough: Just take off your clothes!)
Donna Freedman massage (Yep, naked for those – but covered with a sheet.)
Shoes off Canada (Look – their feet are naked!)
I am embarrassed to take off my shoes (Must not be a Canadian, eh?)
*Those funny keywords mentioned earlier probably took the searchers to the following Surviving and Thriving articles:
- The pickup truck theory of life
- Who would Jesus strafe?
- You can’t even tell perfect bodies apart
- The wedding gift as price of admission