My unconventionally coiffed friend J. Money is nothing if not a realist. He figured that “about a bazillion” Black Friday posts would go up in the PF blogosphere right before the big day.
So he decided to make his own post about sex. Pretty much what you might expect from a guy whose site is called Budgets Are Sexy.
Of his “10 ways Black Friday is like sex,” my favorites were:
- No. 1, “Being the first in line has its advantages”
- No. 3, “You can do it in groups (or by yourself)”
- No. 6, “If you don’t get it wrapped, you’ll regret it later”
How could I resist responding, as it were?
Although I’d been up most of the night doing Black Friday midnight sales and then writing “A mall and the night visitors,” I immediately hit the comments section with “Ten reasons Black Friday isn’t like sex.”
J. Money dared me to post it on my own site. He should know better than to dare me to do anything.
So here are 10 differences between Black Friday and sexual congress:
10. Most deals are cash only
9. No discounts for bringing your own, um, shopping bag
8. The shopping bags can’t be reused (eeewww)
7. No coupons, dammit
6. No BOGOS, either
5. An underage “sales clerk” could mean big trouble
4. You won’t be offered coffee and doughnuts
3. Finishing early is NOT a plus
2. The ads for it are even more misleading than Black Friday ones
Finally, the No. 1 reason sex is different than Black Friday: The women generally wind up more satisfied than the men.