On the first evening of my recent New York trip I went to the “Bloomers Party,” an event for bloggers aged 45 and up organized by the Boombox Network. It was associated with BlogHer 2012, which I wasn’t attending, but a Boombox publicist invited me anyway. Bless her heart.
As you may recall, the Aug. 10 giveaway was a selection of intriguing treats that organizers sent home with me. But that’s not all I got.
Each attendee received a goodie bag full of items from party sponsors. The one that startled me the most was a product called Bring It Up instant breast lifts. I am not making that up. I couldn’t make that up. All I could think of was, “Instant breast lifts! Just add wobble!”
“The ultimate breast accessory,” according to the package, they “(elevate) the breasts up to six inches, utilizing our patented ‘lift-from-the-top’ placement method.” I couldn’t make that up, either. But seriously: They’re designed to be worn with backless or strapless dresses.
Also being given away this week:
- Resurgence skin-care items. Small tubes of cleansing cream, eye cream, diffusing serum and night cream.
- A trio of Naughty Betty note pads. As you’ll notice in the above illustration, these have truly life-affirming sentiments: “If things get better with age, why can’t our butts get better with gravity,” “I miss the old days when carbs and television weren’t so evil” and “As long as our minds are perky, who cares what our boobs look like” (the folks who invented the breast lifts?).
- A sample of On “natural arousal oil.” Not making that up, either. As it’s to be used on the lady bits, I was glad to note that the label promised a “menthol-free” product.
- Not Done Yet logo items. A small notebook, some Post-It notes and a button that proclaims the wearer to be “Ageless at any age.” Hmmm.
- A small vial of Demeter roll-on perfume. It’s dragonfruit-scented, which means you will smell good enough to eat.
These items would make fun gifts for a pal who’s in need of a pick-me-up. Or for a pal whose breasts are in need of a pick-me-up.
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The entry deadline is 9 p.m. PDT Monday, Aug. 27. The winner must respond by 9 p.m. PDT Tuesday, Aug. 28. In other words: If you enter this giveaway, check your e-mail.