Instant breast lift.

On the first evening of my recent New York trip I went to the “Bloomers Party,” an event for bloggers aged 45 and up organized by the Boombox Network. It was associated with BlogHer 2012, which I wasn’t attending, but a Boombox publicist invited me anyway. Bless her heart.

As you may recall, the Aug. 10 giveaway was a selection of  intriguing treats that organizers sent home with me. But that’s not all I got.

Each attendee received a goodie bag full of items from party sponsors. The one that startled me the most was a product called Bring It Up instant breast lifts. I am not making that up. I couldn’t make that up. All I could think of was, “Instant breast lifts! Just add wobble!”

“The ultimate breast accessory,” according to the package, they “(elevate) the breasts up to six inches, utilizing our patented ‘lift-from-the-top’ placement method.” I couldn’t make that up, either. But seriously: They’re designed to be worn with backless or strapless dresses.

Also being given away this week:

  • Resurgence skin-care items. Small tubes of cleansing cream, eye cream, diffusing serum and night cream.
  • A trio of Naughty Betty note pads.  As you’ll notice in the above illustration, these have truly life-affirming sentiments: “If things get better with age, why can’t our butts get better with gravity,”  “I miss the old days when carbs and television weren’t so evil” and “As long as our minds are perky, who cares what our boobs look like” (the folks who invented the breast lifts?).
  • A sample of On “natural arousal oil.” Not making that up, either. As it’s to be used on the lady bits, I was glad to note that the label promised a “menthol-free” product.
  • Not Done Yet logo items. A small notebook, some Post-It notes and a button that proclaims the wearer to be “Ageless at any age.” Hmmm.
  • A small vial of Demeter roll-on perfume. It’s dragonfruit-scented, which means you will smell good enough to eat.

These items would make fun gifts for a pal who’s in need of a pick-me-up. Or for a pal whose breasts are in need of a pick-me-up.

To enter:

If you do any (or all!) of these things, please leave separate, additional comments to get credit for each entry.

The entry deadline is 9 p.m. PDT Monday, Aug. 27. The winner must respond by 9 p.m. PDT Tuesday, Aug. 28.  In other words: If you enter this giveaway, check your e-mail.

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  1. Colleen Zsiros

    Sounds like a good time. The give away gifts sound fun too!

  2. Holly Samlan

    This would be PERFECT. I have afriend w/a Nov bday and we exchange bday gifts w/the rule of MUST BE FREE or at least VERY cheap ($2/less). Like both of us, she is old enough to need the type of products being offered.

  3. I’m curious to see if the bring it up really works. And the skin care items and perfume sound really nice.

  4. I follow you on facebook

  5. MKaren Harrison

    I could use any of these!

  6. Kelly McMillen

    I like this one! Hahaha

  7. Alexandra Siguenza

    Who couldn’t use a breast lift? 😉

  8. Kim Hirsch

    One could have a fun weekend with this stuff!

  9. Rebekah

    My sister in law has a saucy, somewhat naughty humor blog. I think she would like this stuff.

  10. Rebekah

    I subscribe my RSS.

  11. Rebekah

    I follow you on Facebook.

  12. Meghan in Jersey

    I follow you on Facebook.

  13. Meghan in Jersey

    And on Twitter.

  14. Meghan in Jersey

    And I subscribe via email.

  15. Meghan in Jersey

    And I have perky mind.

  16. lostAnnfound

    Very interesting & unique prize pack!

  17. lostAnnfound

    I follow you via RSS and also at GRS

  18. Nice items!!!

  19. I’m in –would be great for gag birthday gifts!

  20. Believe it or not, I need something to wear with strapless outfits, so instant breast lift sounds good. 🙂

  21. Already subscribed via email.

  22. Follow on FB and Twitter

  23. Sassy and fun!

  24. Facebook too!

  25. I guess I am selfish, as I would love to use this stuff for me 😉

  26. Hilarious! but still I wonder if it actually works?

  27. crazy fun prize pack! thanks for the giveaway!

  28. I’m an email subscriber

  29. I follow on twitter (moeyshay)

  30. O.M.G. Too funny ! Count me in please !!

  31. Just had to go to the link for the instant boob lifters to check it out!!! I think a hydraulic jack might work better on mine.

  32. Msjbelle

    You crack me up! 🙂 I follow on FB.

  33. Count me in! This one’s a hoot!!!!!

  34. how fun!! thank you!!

  35. i like you on facebook

  36. i follow you on rss

  37. Catseye

    What an interesting gift package! Would love those notepads. I subscribe to the RSS feed.

  38. Kandace


  39. Looks like a fun pack!

  40. Gift pack that is 🙂

  41. Stephanie Phelps

    wow the breast lifts sounds wonderful. Do they have one for the whole body? 🙂

  42. Stephanie Phelps

    I subscribe to your posts through Email

  43. Stephanie Phelps

    I like you on Facebook.(Stephanie Phelps)

  44. The products sound fun and funny.

  45. Interesting gifts.

  46. I subscribe via RSS.

  47. Elizabeth

    Fun and funny!

  48. Elizabeth

    I subscribe via email.

  49. Alissa A

    I’m an email subscriber. allali40(at)hotmail(dot)com

  50. Interesting prizes….sounds like fun!

  51. KHBride

    Hilarious! Love it!

  52. KHBride

    I subscribe via email

  53. KHBride

    I follow on facebook and twitter as KHBride

  54. I could use an instant breast lift about now!

  55. I subscribe to your blog, as well.

  56. I’m feeling the need to be uplifted this Monday morning. Count me in!

  57. lisajay99

    Sounds like fun stuff!

  58. ImJuniperNow

    I enjoyed this naughty piece. Were the double entendres intended? I’d love to see this package in my mailbox. I might even open it in front of the neighbors.

    • Donna Freedman

      @ImJuniperNow: Of course they were intended. All double entendres are wanted and needed. Thanks for your, uh, support.

  59. I clicked on to the link for the page, got distracted by a phone call and couldn’t remember how I got here.
    My Monday definitely needs to get better!

  60. Tracy Stone

    I’m very curious about your “ultimate breast accessory”. Heaven knows I could use such a thing!

  61. Tracy Stone

    I follow on e-mail!

  62. Tracy Stone

    and on facebook and twitter

  63. I follow with my work e-mail.

  64. I follow on facebook.

  65. I also follow from my personal e-mail.

  66. These items are hysterical! Count me in!!!

  67. Six inches, wow. I’m not that saggy yet, but for future reference?


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