Instant breast lift.

On the first evening of my recent New York trip I went to the “Bloomers Party,” an event for bloggers aged 45 and up organized by the Boombox Network. It was associated with BlogHer 2012, which I wasn’t attending, but a Boombox publicist invited me anyway. Bless her heart.

As you may recall, the Aug. 10 giveaway was a selection of  intriguing treats that organizers sent home with me. But that’s not all I got.

Each attendee received a goodie bag full of items from party sponsors. The one that startled me the most was a product called Bring It Up instant breast lifts. I am not making that up. I couldn’t make that up. All I could think of was, “Instant breast lifts! Just add wobble!”

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How to complain.

After BlogHer 2011 ended my daughter and I stayed in San Diego for a couple of extra days. I’d used a Travelocity voucher I’d gotten through Eversave to get a decent deal for a hotel in the city’s Gaslamp section.

The conference had been pretty tiring, so we were ready to lie down by the time we showed up for the 3 p.m. check-in. A desk clerk told us it would be another 20 minutes because our room had not been cleaned.

Twenty minutes went by. Abby, who has a chronic health condition, was so fatigued she could barely sit upright. I inquired again. Still not clean, but they’d let us know as soon as something was available.

Another 20 minutes elapsed, during which I saw the clerk have a soft drink and chat with co-workers. What he didn’t do was call housekeeping to ask about the progress of the room. Meanwhile, I was wondering just how big a bitch I needed to be to get this fixed.

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I’ve been so disoriented and exhausted since getting to San Diego on Thursday that I completely forgot to put up a giveaway on Friday — and when I remembered, the Internet was down at the hotel.

That’s my story and I’m sticking with it. So next week I’ll probably give away two things to make up for it.

After the expo hall at BlogHer, the pickings will be pretty rich. Among the things they’re handing out away:

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