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th-1Some observations about the town of Valdez, Alaska, where the 24th annual Last Frontier Theatre Conference is winding up:

Coming into town were greeted by one of those temporary electronic signs, the kind that road crews put up. However, it wasn’t advising us of “ROAD WORK NEXT FEW MILES” or “ABRUPT EDGE MOTORCYCLES USE EXTREME CAUTION,” however.

No, this warning included the phrase “GRIZZLY BEARS MOVING THROUGH TOWN.”

Sad to say, I have not seen ursus arctos horribilis myself. Kind of hoped to do so, from within a vehicle moving past said critter. But I did hear about someone whose yard was monopolized by a mama grizz and three cubs for several days.

Finally she called Fish and Game to beanbag ’em out of there. She was tired of not letting her own kids go outside to play, lest they become Scooby snacks for the charismatic megafauna next to the swing set.

 


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A pullet surprise.

thMonths and months ago I wrote a post called “Ask me (almost) anything.” Among other things, it invited readers to send questions that I might (or might not) answer.

The questions came in, and remained unanswered. Sorry ’bout that.

Also sorry about maintaining radio silence since May 6. My book project plus an issue to be explained later have kept me from doing any writing for fun.

Today I’ll kill two birds with one stone (plus one really unappetizing picture).

 


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thPersonally, I would argue that in the United States just about every day is Superhero Day. Life is an endless stream of movies, TV shows, TV, graphic novels and, of course, “licensed” merchandise from T-shirts to figurines to underpants.

About that last: Recently my daughter weighed in on Twitter and Facebook about the apparent existence of, I swear to God, men’s undergarments bearing the logo of The Flash. “Superhero undies are cool and all, but hey, guys… maybe ‘The Flash’ underwear sends the wrong message?”

My response: “You’d think most guys would go for The Incredible Hulk. (‘You’ll really like me when I’m angry.’)”

But back to today’s celebration: I noticed a funny Facebook item from humorist and standup comedian Michele Wojciechowski. In honor of Superhero Day she decided her own alter ego would be “Wojo Woman.”

“My hair could catch bad guys and tangle them up. I could also send death rays through my eyes … And I could use my humor to make them laugh so hard that they would be totally incapacitated.”

She invited others to chime in, so of course I did.

 


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Fairbanks haiku.

 thHeaded north today

Too early, but one must think:

Construction season.

 

Road breakfast first, though:

Eggs, spuds, bacon, pancakes and

Diet (duh) cola.

 

Clouds, gloom: Were we cursed?

Look! Denali lifts chador

Of cloud and smiles big.

 

(Who is Denali?

You knew her as McKinley.

But you knew nothing.)

 


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Frigid frozen feet.

Recently DF and I attended “My Fair Lady,” the frugal way: I was reviewing, so we got two free tickets. (You can read the review at the Alaska Dispatch News if you like.)

When we finally went to bed my feet were, as usual, freezing. The rest of me felt fine but my toes were 10 little icicles. This led to us joking about a rewrite of “The Street Where You Live,” one of the more romantic songs from the musical.

In case you don’t know the tune, here’s a clip from the film version:

 

Got it? Now, on to the DF-written parody, “The Sheets At the Foot of the Bed”:

 


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