The Mensa member makes jelly.

Last week I got permission to pick grapes from a nearby fence. My first batch of jelly turned out a lovely wine-purple color and my apartment smelled like communion.

But it was a lot more work than blackberry jam: You pick, then crush, then simmer, then strain the pulp through a cheesecloth-lined colander, then add sugar and cook.

On Sunday I picked pretty much all the ripe grapes that were left. Yesterday I patiently pulled out the stems, made sure there was a one-to-four ratio of underripe to ripe fruit (I donโ€™t use commercial pectin), washed them, crushed them, simmered them, and poured about half the results into a cloth-lined colander set over a bowl.

The yield was three cups of juice. I scraped out the drained pulp, poured the rest of the simmered grapes into the colander and walked away to do another chore.

And then.

 

Then I returned and realized Iโ€™d set the colander not over the bowl, but into the sink.

All that work, literally down the drain.

That crackling sound you hear is my Mensa card, which I set on fire once I got done swearing.

Grand total for the evening: One and a half pints of jelly.

Sometimes I wonder why they let me walk around loose.

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19 thoughts on “The Mensa member makes jelly.”

  1. If it makes you feel any better, I burned…BURNED…an entire batch of pear butter (from the beautiful pears on my backyard tree) in the crockpot….on the LOW setting! We all have a culinary setbacks now and then! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • @SimplyForties: It’s priceless, all right. Wow. On the bright side, I’ll be twice as careful in the future.
      Thanks for reading, and for leaving a comment.

      Reply
    • @Andrew: Glad to help. And see how much smarter you get to feel in comparison to me???
      Thanks for reading, and for leaving a comment.

      Reply
  2. Oh, I feel for you. I hate when things like that happen! I spilled about a half a gallon of scalding hot pepper jelly down the front of my stove, in oven, in a set of drawers on the front of the cabinets and down my legs into my shoes. I would have gladly exchanged pouring the whole mess down the sink. What I did not clean up is like concrete except that it is sticky and collects dust.

    Reply
    • @Practical Parsimony: Ouch! That must have been a horrific burn! Boiling sugar…yow.
      What does not destroy us makes us stronger. Sometimes it also makes us feel dumb.
      But I’m glad that I made the three cups into jelly. I got a pint and a half-pint plus a little extra. I had some of the little extra on toast this morning. My, was it good. I wish I’d been able to pick sooner, when there were more grapes available. I doubt that the rest are going to ripen at this point.
      Oh, well, there’s always next year. And next year I’ll be a lot more careful with the colander.

      Reply
  3. We’d make good friends, sounds like one of my escapades. I’ve done things like that so much, I now have trained myself to move along without a thought. I am not very attractive when I cry!

    Reply
    • @Grammababy: Exactly! All I wasted was my time. ๐Ÿ™
      Welcome to Surviving and Thriving, by the way. Nice to see more crossover!

      Reply
  4. Hilarious! The first thing I thought of when I read your post title was “Gee, I will have to ask Donna for permission to use it for a weekly/semi-weekly/whatever topic on my blog!” LOL Seriously, it does seem that I could easily post one per week. (Admittedly, however, I haven’t been posting in a while. I haven’t posted regularly since Lent 2010. ~~ Thanks for the great story ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • @Unavocis: Thanks for your kind words. And feel free to use the “Mensa moment” tag. I can only hope that Mensa doesn’t rescind my membership.
      Oh, well, there’s always Densa.

      Reply

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