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A recent post on my neighborhood’s Buy Nothing Facebook page mentioned “rage purging.” The woman was getting rid of a bunch of stuff because she wanted to be able to park in her garage again.
Further down on the page someone was giving away a 16-quart tamale/seafood steamer – never used, she said. I wondered if it had been a wedding present that got set aside and forgotten, or whether she’d bought it herself while thinking, “Gosh, I’d use this all the time.”
These posts plus early hints of Christmas stuff in the stores made me want to write a public service announcement:
Stop buying stuff you don’t have room to store.
Stop buying stuff you will likely never use.
Stop buying stuff, period.
About that last: Obviously I don’t expect anyone never to buy stuff again, unless they’re absolute wizards at the Buy Nothing page and Freecycle. But soon we’ll be buffeted by massive marketing campaigns designed to part us from our dollars, so I’d like to suggest we all take a look at what we need – and, more to the point, what we want.
I think most of us want happy holiday memories. Pretty sure we don’t want cluttered homes, derailed budgets and garages with no room to park. Yet the constant onslaught of deals deals deals can soften the frugal lobe of even the savviest consumer’s brain.
This is a personal struggle for me, every holiday season. When I see marvelous gifts at marvelous prices (or even reasonable ones), it’s so tempting to go overboard. “Wouldn’t my great-nephew love that” or “Oh, man, that’s perfect for my bestie” temporarily overwhelms my good sense.
Or I’ll have everything wrapped and ready but then hear Christmas carols in the store. Suddenly I want to buy one more gift for everyone I know. One more stocking stuffer for the children in my life. One more ornament for my niece’s tree.
And then I get over it, for a couple of reasons:
I’m wary of setting the bar too high, especially for kids.
I’m responsible for my own retirement, so I try to maintain good financial habits.
Rage purging, prevented
Generally most of my presents are paid for with rewards from programs like Swagbucks and Inbox Dollars, and with points from my rewards credit cards. (Two of my favorites are the Chase Freedom card and the Ink Business Unlimited Credit Card, which is also from Chase.)
Both last year and this year I’ve gotten a couple of great presents from that Buy Nothing Facebook page. Sometimes I find amazing books at thrift stores or in the giveaway pile at the library. Freebies from the Financial Blogger Conference wind up in holiday stockings.
These hacks mean I can spend relatively little cash each year, especially as compared with others. The National Retail Federation’s annual survey put average spending at a little over $1,007 per person in 2018. (Fun fact: This is the amount I expected to live on each month when I wrote the original “Surviving and thriving on $12,000 a year” article for MSN Money.)
Your mileage may vary, of course. If you see gifts that are lovely and meaningful, by all means purchase what you can afford. But please, please think about what you’re doing.
Make a list. Check it twice, or even thrice. Don’t allow yourself to be tricked into thinking, “Dang, this is so cheap I can’t not buy it” (either for yourself or someone on your list).
Keep your financial goals budget uppermost in mind vs. getting sucked into the quagmire of shrewd marketing. Just because that flat-screen TV – or that tamale/seafood steamer – is only $99 doesn’t mean you should get it. Being intentional about our giving might mean a lot less rage-purging later on.
Readers: Have you started thinking about the holidays, or have you been shopping off and on since Dec. 26, 2018?
(Surviving and Thriving has partnered with CardRatings for our coverage of credit card products. Surviving and Thriving and CardRatings may receive a commission from card issuers.)
Related reading:
- Do we need a little less Christmas?
- 12 ways to spend less on stocking stuffers
- Some frugal Christmas parodies
If I buy something too early, the intended recipient is likely to buy it him/herself. My kids are about grown, my sibs and I don’t exchange gifts, and my mother is 87 years old, although she still enjoys giving and receiving Christmas gifts. My big problem is finding inexpensive stocking stuffers. Sometimes I just stuff them with socks. If I make something for my nieces and nephew, who are also getting older, I’ll make for my family, too, and it’ll go in the stockings.
It’s not really Christmas unless someone buys you socks or underwear, is it???
You’ll appreciate that very funny episode — “Merry Christmas, Mr. Bean:”
That’s what he gives himself — Christmas socks!
I like the gift he gave to his teddy bear, myself.
Amen about not buying what you don’t need. Why can’t Christmas be about being together, having a nice meal, conversation, and one simple gift each?
Darned good question, Kandace.
I agree wholeheartedly! My Nieces/Nephews are all grown, my siblings and I don’t exchange…so no real gift buying going on at my house…
BUT…. I still have the same mental battle over the “cheap” prices during the season..I’ll see a TV bigger/better than mine on Black Friday for $100 and think I want to “upgrade”, or some trinket I think someone will like…………….I have to remind myself that there is NOTHING wrong with my TV..and those dollars will serve me better in my retirement account.
Holidays without family nearby give us an excuse to travel to interesting places during that time, with money we would have spent on gifts.
I will mail a box of “stocking stuffer” type gifts for my son and his wife, and our favorite neighbors/friends.
Now that I’m officially retired I’m earmarking my new, limited income for trips. I’ve been retired one month and already have 10 trips of various lengths planned to 2020; all on the cheap!
As I always say: Save where you can so you can spend where you want. Sounds like you have your wants and needs clearly delineated.
Congratulations on your retirement.
Love the post and agree! BUY LESS STUFF! I moved last year from a cramped overSTUFFED condo to a 4 bedroom in another state. Pre retirement but instead of downsizing I was “rightsizing”. I needed more space but I also unloaded a lot of stuff before the move. I purged, donated and packed most of the rest myself. Not an easy task.Then I unpacked at the other end. Gasp! Well that cured me! Trust me, I had more stuff then furniture! I have very little desire now to shop even “the fun stuff” like books and antiques. Go into those stores and buy very little unless i have books to trade for credit. I think: “that is just more stuff to crowd the house. I already have a lifetime of treasures to display!” It’s not that I won’t buy something small that I really like but I buy WAY less. Recently someone in the family suggest we stop buying birthday gifts now we’re all older and the kids past 21. Agreed. At Xmas -long ago!- I restricted gifts to family. Close friends and I shared just greetings and holiday dinners. Now family just get small gift cards – because they are downsizing pre-retirement too and also don’t want more stuff.
I am still setting up the new home. Once that’s done I will go back to work. I took a much needed break. But in 2020 or 2021 I intend to go back to the practice of Purge Months. Once a month in the spring and once a month in the fall I pick a month and every weekend in that month I purge section by section through out the house and throw out or make trips to the local Goodwill with donations. Helps.
My partner’s mom has a rule: If she decides to buy something she has to get rid of TWO things. She wants to leave less stuff for her son to have to deal with, apparently.
And now he is doing the same thing: sorting through piles of stuff and giving away/donating what he can. Surprisingly little has ended up in the trash thus far.
Good rule! That’s another thing: I’m 62 and hope I got a lotta life left in me . But I am a life long collector and now when I browse a book or antique store I can’t help it I think “ that’s one more thing someone has to sort through down the road!” Either me, as I near the end, or the niece and nephew who will inherit. I no longer buy antiquarian or rare books. Only novels I can read and trade back out the door.
You are one of the first frugal people I’ve seen state the following “ Stop buying stuff you don’t have room to store.” Storage places are making a ton of money storing people’s crap. So not only do you not have a place to store it, but then you have to pay someone else to store it for you. Total waste of money.
For some reason, I don’t think my reply went through.
If it shows up 2 times, I am sorry!
A great reminder at a great time, before the holidays. We do a grab bag gift exchange and last year, even better, it was not allowed to be purchased new. Thrift stores, garage sales, shopping from your own home, or homemade only! It required more thought and meant more to us all. Hoping to do it again this year.
My husband and I do not exchange gifts. Instead, we take on chores the other dislikes. So, for Christmas last year, my gift from him was four months of not doing any laundry. He did it all, including the few items that need ironing, changing the sheets, and so on. Every time I saw him take a load into the garage to wash I would think (and often say out loud), “This is the best gift EVER!” My gift to him was vacuuming out the vehicle every month. He is a nut about a clean car whereas when I met him, my backseat was more like a garbage can. (Well, I also got some chocolate, but, you know, that is more of a need than a gift…) No cost involved but so much better than things like new clothes.
That. Is. Amazing. Thank you for sharing this idea.
While it’s not holiday related I just want to share what my sister and her two daughters and one boyfriend did recently. Sis decided to rent a truck from Lowes and they all helped drag one daughter’s destroyed couch and take it to the dump. Then they went to the other daughter’s storage unit and took furniture from there to the other daughter’s house so she had a couch, loveseat and chair and my sis took the other set to fill up her empty living room. She usually waits around for her husband to do it but he’s been stuck in Florida trying to sell a house they inherited.
Sometimes it feels impossible to do a task like that. Having others jump in to help is huge.
Several years ago my family stopped buying individual gifts for each other and instead we buy $10-$20 dollars total of small gifts to use as bingo prizes and we play bingo after Christmas dinner. I pick up clearance items throughout the year all close to or less than $1. I use my discounts from frequent buyer apps and cards to get everything like socks, gloves, scarves, hats and sleep pants (Old Navy bonus bucks and reward codes), crayons, colored pencils, notebooks and decorative photo hangers (Staples back to school sales and clearance shelves), slippers (Walmart clearance bins), small terra-cotta planters with soil and seeds (CVS clearance shelves plus Extra Bucks) and mugs with cocoa (TJMaxx clearance shelves). I keep a large clear plastic storage tote in my master closet for the gifts/prizes and when it’s full I’m done!
I buy gifts for three grown children on sale. Grandson always get socks and batteries. All my gifts went to dump this year when my house was destroyed and hauled to dump.
I get a huge kick out of the freebie gift boxes Mavis’ mom (over at One Hundred Dollars A Month blog) gives to her family. All year long, she collects as many complimentary hotel items, jams, laundry stuff, coffee, etc etc..then she divides them up, based on whatever she thinks that person will enjoy most. The results are very funny — and a little inspiring.
https://www.onehundreddollarsamonth.com/what-does-complimentary-item-mean-to-you/
Since the kids are still young, and certain grown relatives can’t get past their avarice, we’re locked into a certain amount of gift exchanging which bothers me as to what it’s teaching JB but I still have the rest of the year to attempt to teach minimalism. Sigh. I don’t know how to get this concept into a young child.
I AM happy that my birthday gift annually is now gifts of books to the library collection, and PiC and I agree that adding to our retirement is our gift to ourselves, at least.
Anyway, I’ve got half the gifts for the niblings, I just need to add a book each, and I’ve been doing well getting that out of the way on a very slim budget. BUT.
I myself am struggling so hard to keep myself from buying things I see for myself even though I know I also don’t WANT to own many things and I don’t WANT to find myself in a position of purging. I am mostly mindful and thoughtful about the things we need and should add (as witness my amazing forbearance on the subject of the robot vacuum) but I have random phases where it’s extra hard to keep up that self denial. I certainly don’t feel deprived at all, of course, it’s just that little Gollum that lives in me. Argh! So I’m going to keep reading this post over and over and over. Sometimes it’s easier to do when someone else is telling me not to buy stuff. 😀
That sounds like a post for your own blog, Revanche: “How much self-denial is too much self-denial?”
See also:
https://ipickuppennies.net/2019/10/learn-to-spend-without-guilt/
Haha I don’t know that anyone wants to read THAT particular set of navel gazing from me. In your hands it would be compelling though 😉
My mother is a 91 year old hoarder who goes every week and gets free stuff from a church.
So you don’t have to buy stuff to have a problem.