I almost didn’t write this post. Not because I was too busy, but rather because I was too busy not being busy. This is my seventh day in Phoenix, and I’ve accomplished relatively little since arriving.
Last week’s overnight flight (Friday night/Saturday morning) provided little sleep due to twin meltdowns: An adult a few rows ahead of me and a toddler a few rows behind me. The adult sobbed aloud (“I can’t do this, I just can’t doooooo this….”) every time we hit turbulence. And there was a lot of turbulence.
The toddler screamed for a big chunk of the six-hour flight. They’d get her calmed down and she’d start up again. The mom in me wondered if an ear infection was involved, since she stopped crying once the plane landed.
Either way, I got relatively little sleep. That first day (Saturday) is kind of a blur and did, in fact, involve a nice long nap. But every day since, I’ve found ways to skirt most work in favor of reading, sleeping, eating and watching a ton of TV* with my daughter.
A couple days ago I realized, “This is a trial run at retirement.”
You know, doing whatever you want. Getting up when it damn well suits you. Moving at the pace that seems relevant to the day. Eating when you feel hungry, vs. during a “lunch break.” Reading until your eyes blur. Hanging out with loved ones and talking about everything, or talking about nothing at all if you’d rather be absorbed in an excellent drama. Going to bed when it damn well suits you.
If that’s retirement, then all I can say is, “Bring it.”
Retirement: Not yet, but soon(ish)
I can’t quit working just yet, and to be honest, I probably won’t quit-quit work even after I declare myself retired. A little extra cash will come in handy during retirement. I’d also like to be able to contribute to the co-pays for a relative’s gender confirmation surgery. Besides, I’d like to keep my LLC open, and the way to do that is to earn a little money with it.
But to be mostly retired? Sounds spectacular.
That means taking an assignment or two a month, instead of packing my days with work. Recently I had a massive onslaught of deadlines, which meant not spending time with DF, my best friend Linda B., and my niece and her kids. I was tired all the time, and stressed about the next due date (and the one after that), and fortunately DF was kind enough to do all the cooking or many of my meals would have been made chiefly of oatmeal.
Part of the reason I’ve slacked since landing, I think, is that I was so darned beat from the previous few weeks. Sitting and doing very little (and not much of that) has been a balm to my brain.
And now I want more.
Again, I probably won’t quit outright. It’ll keep my skills sharp, and my bank account a little plumper. Given how deeply inflation is digging into our collective budgets, it won’t hurt a bit to have extra cash coming in.
And, yeah, I like having my voice heard. Sue me.
Retirement lite
But I want my days to be less cluttered by must-do, and chock full of let’s-do. As in: Let’s go on a hike, see a movie, throw sticks for my niece’s dog, sit reading in adjoining armchairs (looking up occasionally to smile at each other), take my great-niece and great-nephew to Dave & Buster’s – and let’s do these things any time we like.
As they say, we’re not guaranteed a tomorrow. At my age, why am I filling all my days with work, when I could be spending more of those hours with the folks I love? Or with a book I’ve always meant to read?
When I get home I’m going to crunch some numbers, think some thoughts and then reorder my working life. I realize how insanely privileged I am even to entertain that notion. Frugality helps; for example, DF’s home is paid for and he and I delight in stretching dollars. Then there’s the previous good fortune of having had a job with a 401(k), a strong savings habit, and the decision to contribute to a Roth IRA.
Recently I read this observation on Twitter: “You didn’t just make good choices. You had good choices.” (See “insanely privileged,” above.) Not all my choices were good ones (shoulda gotten out of that marriage a lot sooner), but enough of them were to make a difference.
And when I didn’t have good choices? I kept pushing until I got them.
The result: I’ve got nothing left to prove, career-wise, and everything to lose if I don’t change the way I spend my days. Stay tuned.
Related reading:
- Midlife love rocks! (Ask me how I know)
- Midlife love STILL rocks
- If life is the currency, I’m already rich
*I recommend checking out “Imposters” if you like caper/heist stories. Also recommend “Ozark,” if you have a strong stomach and more than a nodding tolerance for profanity.
I love being retired!
The biggest blessing for me is the lack of stress. No boring meetings, no unruly people, no constantly getting up early, getting ready, commuting, coworkers who gossip, no bosses overlooking everything you do, and like you said, timed breaks and lunches.
I get up in the morning and vary my routine. Somedays I’ll meet friends for coffee, somedays I won’t. I can choose with whom I want to be with–no negativity or grumbling for me! I do eat when I feel hungry and I do sleep when I get tired. I garden, bike ride, walk, take the dog for a romp by the river, read whatever I want, and keep my life simple, simple, simple. I owe nothing but regular bills for electricity, water, insurance, and internet. Those come out of my bank account so I never have a late notice or pay a fee. It’s wonderful. I volunteer at the local food bank and volunteer at church. Being friendly with neighbors is nice; I no longer live in a huge home with a huge yard in an upscale neighborhood. Nobody vies for yard of the month.
I do think the best blessing is I surround myself with happy people. I do not have to listen to gossip, backbiting, criticism, and office politics.
I have a simple wardrobe, cook simply, and have no need of the latest gadgets. Taking 20 minutes here and there to pick up and clean is wonderful. Listening to music while I do it calms me. I have a designated task for each day: Monday I clean the kitchen, Tuesday I vacuum, Wednesday I dust, Thursday I mop floors, and Friday I clean the bathroom.
Works for me!
Sounds like what I want.
Love Ozark. Will check out The Imposters.
Who is the author of The Imposters, please?
It’s a TV show, created by Paul Adelstein. Before he became the co-creator of “Imposters,” he was known for his acting work in shows like “Prison Break” and “Scandal,” and for movie work.
My husband and I, through frugal living and careful investment, have enough funds for a comfortable retirement, including frequent travel for me (husband prefers staying home).
I tried going back to work full time after being retired and quit within 3 months.
I knew I was ready to be fully retired, and not semi-retired from that experience.
Good luck in your retirement journey.
P. S.: I think of you often when I’m working on some frugal hack: turning stale bread into a large batch of French Toast for the freezer, or taking some meaty bones from a roast and making beef broth with it. I’m making cheese next week and looking forward to making the rustic bread recipe with the leftover whey (which we formerly discarded).
Your life sounds great.
We also use the yogurt whey in soups and stews, and I add a little to oatmeal along with the cooking water.
Echoing Marie’s comments. I love being retired!! The freedom to do what I want, when I want and above all the lack of stress.
Knowing what little I know of you, after reading your stuff for years, I would guess that you’ll be ‘officially’ retired when you stop breathing.
Me, too.
The Brick’s been retired for 5 1/2 years now, but I continue to pick up the appraising, teaching or writing job now and then. Though I do a lot less than I used to. Part of the reason was caring for my mom for the past year in Michigan. (We live in Colorado.) She died Jan. 22.
The other part is that teachers/judges/appraisers no longer are requested that much by conferences and guilds. A lot of my earlier employers in the quilting field no longer bring in out-of-state people. Which means, unless it’s in CO or I’m headed there for something else, I lose out. (Talks for the two Colorado-themed books I’ve written are still ok…but don’t pay as well.)
And finally, I’m no longer that thrilled about 6-hour flights (as you so aptly pointed out) and schlepping heavy suitcases to various concourses. It’s much nicer to stay home and do what I can over the internet… play with our dog…see our kids.
We’re coming up on 3 years living in a fifth-wheel, caretaking on friends’ ranch, which has helped immensely with expenses. The Brick has a monthly pension, and we’re both drawing social security, with a nice nest egg socked away from putting money away regularly, plus the proceeds from our house sale three years ago. We haven’t touched the nest egg yet…eventually will buy a small house or land somewhere, but haven’t found what we want yet.
And we also, like you and DF, know how to stretch a buck until it screams.
So is being retired — even mostly retired — worth it? Absolutely, positively. Donna, you should do it. You’ll wonder why you didn’t earlier.
I’m retired – and my life and days are very full, usually with things that bring me joy (and perhaps some physical or mental exhaustion). Some days are full of responsibilities or obligations, yet again I have gratitude that I have the freedom to do those things for others or even for myself. I had a company that was approached by one of my suppliers who actually essentially bought me out – not perhaps at a time that was great for me, however in retrospect it was perfect timing. I then did a huge house renovation and proceeded to drink myself into a stupor, as I was rather lost and didn’t know who I was anymore. However, happily, I am now 2 1/2 years sober. (go me!!) and with a non-soggy brain, finding that I can explore my passions with joy and enthusiasm.
I read a LOT!.
I have a step counter and have set goals for myself – those goals move depending on my physical health, mind you – and some days or weeks when the good old Fibromyalgia and/or arthritis are biting my derriere, the daily minimum goal is just barely manageable.
I have a couple of friends who want to get together, so I am trying to ensure that I invite or include them in my plans.
I have a 92 year old mom still on her own, so I try to get to see her every couple of weeks (she is too busy for more visits than that!!)
I do a lot of gardening (mostly food – veggies, fruit trees, berries) and have chickens and pet sheep, a biggish field to do something farmerish on, and food preservation for the summer and fall.
You will need to learn how to block time out for the sitting and reading, @donnafreedman, as the many possibilities available for filling your time will simply continue to expand. We need to be even more discerning about our real and honest wants, when we are retired, in my experience
Great job on your 2 1/2 years!! Keep at it!
Your life sounds marvelous — and congratulations on the 2.5 years.
My brother retired at 50 (state job, great benefits) and he told me that he made the mistake of immediately trying to fill his days with things that wound up looking a lot like work: additional art commissions, volunteering heavily at community theater, doing major house projects. He suggested that I think about the ways I want to fill my time, rather than the things I think I ought to be doing.
This advice came when I graduated from the University of Washington at age 52 (better late than really late). But it’s certainly applicable now.
Reading this gave me a chill (start?) How will we get along without an occasional missive from Donna??? At least you could call it semi-retired or just say you’re doing it for fun.
Nope, not dropping the site. I appreciate your kind thoughts.
I semi-retired in March of 2020 (after announcing my plans in January-who knew what was coming). I had a 130 mile, 2 hour and 20 minute round trip commute. That stopped with semi retirement and the pandemic. My husband remarked how quickly my stress melted away. I started exercising consistently for 45 to 60 minutes per day at the ripe old age of 64. Because everything was shut down due to Covid, I did some research and discovered that we had some lovely county parks that were perfect for long walks. I also delved into online classes for people over 50 offered by colleges and universities through the Osher Living Learning Institute. The classes have a modest cost (nowhere near for credit courses) but have enriched my life in many ways. The Mensa member in you could love this, Donna. Most schools have virtual programming-and you don’t have to be an alum (I’m taking classes via Duke and Dartmouth-I don’t live near either school and have no prior affiliation). I’ve rediscovered the joy of cooking, read more, and settle in with DH for our post-dinner ritual of the CBS Evening News and yelling out the Jeopardy answers. I also joined a local lunchtime hiking group. Even with the fun stuff, though, I still found myself obsessively checking work email way too much. I forced myself to “mostly” retire this January. Hoping to stay healthy, travel with DH for longer periods, and live my best retirement life. Hoping for the best for you, Donna-although your fans would really miss you!
Oh, I plan to keep writing this site no matter what. Thanks for the encouragement, though.
Tiger Lily is so beautiful!
Can you share when/where you are moving? East Coast, West, South, Alaska etc?
I love retirement but I am still busy! The thing I love is though, it is not the kind of busy that leaves one frantic.. When I was working I was always frantic and stressed trying to get everything done. It took me at least a year after I retired to train my brain and body that I didn’t have to be frantic busy anymore. It is so nice to pursue things I never had time for. I do a lot of genealogy and read all the time. Also, though it is so nice that my husband and I are available when one of our daughters calls and there is a grandchild who needs to be home from school and we can pitch in. We get to go to the grand kids activities (though not so much the last couple of years) We are able to help out at our church as needed. We go to the gym usually every other day. So a peaceful busy and that beats a frantic busy!
As long as you don’t leave us here 😉
I took days off for the first time since before the pandemic and I’m right there with you mentally. Financially no but mentally, yes yes. I hope the numbers say yes yes too! Keep us posted. ❣️
I. Can’t. Wait. People think I will be “bored” because I am too “young” to retire…..I want to fill my days with what I want to do, rather than having corporate America dictate when I have to get up, when I get to go home, etc.
Good Luck Donna, I know you will do it! Enjoy your time with Daughter!
Having read your comments and also chatted with you in person, I’m pretty sure you will have a delightful retirement.
Cheryl, I love your- I. Can’t. Wait. comment since I. Can’t. Wait. either. I too want to fill my days with so many different things. Hubby is 6 years older than me and we confirmed last fall I can call it quits at age 65 when I can get on a Medicare Supplemental Insurance plan. I have a little over 3 years to work. Been on the frugal path for many years and will continue on that road. Neither of us are/were high earners, but we worked hard at saving and live a modest lifestyle. We are not deprived and splurge on things we truly enjoy, like gardening, fishing and cooking at home. Eating mostly at home has saved us a lot of money over the years. I do many of the frugal things Donna mentions.
Being/staying on the frugal path is going to be even more important due to inflation. If a person is already in the habit of stretching a buck, it won’t be as hard to come up with extra money for gasoline. Or for flour.
I did a trial “stay and home mommy” run twenty years ago. I wanted to see if we could afford it. I forwarded all of my paychecks to savings for two months. We didn’t starve. Eventually I had a chance to work part time. I didn’t want to get used to that money so I put half of my part-time earnings in savings. Six year’s later I went full time.
I had in my savings to pay for my daughter’s first year in college and now my IRA has enough to re-roof the house. My husband saved too and I upped my savings when I returned to fulltime work. I think we can retire at 60. We have no debt.
The good thing about the trial run is it allowed us to test the change in income before I actually quit my job.
I love that idea. We did a “trial retirement” on income. We both still worked, but put my nearly all my wife’s income into retirement funds for over two years. We found we could live quite well on less money, as long as we knew our limits. When we early retired later, we felt comfortable with our financial situation (and had extra money set aside should we need it!)
I also cannot wait to retire. I am not naturally a morning person and have been pretending to be one for decades as part of being in the working world. It will be awesome to get up at a more reasonable hour and do the productive puttering around the house that I love so much.
I do plan to do a very small amount of volunteering, but will keep a tight rein on it so that it does in no way start to resemble work.