Personal finance geeks like to plan ahead: retirement, emergency fund, college plan, new-car-with-cash fund, et al.
We actually find this fun, or at least satisfying. You should try it sometime.
A lot of us will also set an amount to be spent for the holidays and other occasions important to us (mom’s birthday, an annual 10k, the Talkeetna Bachelors Auction and Wilderness Woman Competition, whatever).
But how many remember what I call the “milestone gifts” – weddings, graduation, babies, bar mitzvahs and the like?
This could come out of the “entertainment” section of your budget, but if you have a big family and/or a lot of friends then pretty soon you’d have no money left for the movies.
Gift-giving can be a very touchy practice. Is it the right present? Will they thank me but roll their eyes later? Is everyone judging my choice?
And, of course, the biggie: Did I spend enough?
That’s why I wrote “What to do so weddings, baby gifts, etc. don’t break the bank” for Money Talks News. It offers some tips for setting aside extra funds and guidelines for how much you should spend – and when it’s smart to send nothing except a letter with your very best wishes.
Another gift-y issue
Yet another potential budget-buster – the host gift – is the subject of another Money Talks News piece. “What to give your host: 35 awesome gift ideas” suggests some presents you might not have thought of on your own.
Forget wine and flowers. Anybody can bring wine and flowers. Not everyone will think of board games, a hammock, wine charms, flower starts, a magazine subscription (which can be incredibly cheap if you buy through a cash-back shopping site like Mr. Rebates or FatWallet), a card table, maple syrup or a croquet set.
Some might be sunk-cost presents, such as tuning up that bike no one’s using and donating it to your friend’s beach house.
Others cost little or nothing except your time: preserves from your garden, say, or a slide show of the weekend that you create and send along with a thank-you note.
If you’ve got tips for host gifts that don’t appear in the MTN article, I hope you’ll leave them in the comments section below.
When college costs too much
When doesn’t college cost too much? Maybe when you’ve done your research, made smart (and sometimes tough) choices, and gotten the entire family involved.
My latest post on Get Rich Slowly, “Strategies for an affordable college education,” shows you how to leverage what you’ve got in order to get what you want.
Sometimes a serious amount of effort – say, applying for funding every single day starting the summer after the kid finishes 11th grade – will let him or her go to the college of choice with little to no debt. We all love to read about such success stories (“Student earns $1 million in scholarships!”).
However, you’re more likely to get through affordably with a combination of tactics like:
- Seeking “dual enrollment” plans (high school and college combined)
- Investigating what your state could do for you (“top scholar” programs and the like)
- Taking summer courses in order to finish in four years (or fewer)
- Paying by the month (yep, that’s an option)
And so on. I call this having a college strategy vs. having a college “plan.” The multifaceted approach might reduce debt considerably or, best-case scenario, negate the need to borrow at all.
Send the URL of this piece to the teens in your life. Better yet, send it to the teens’ parents.
Finally: I contributed to “10 money lessons learned the hard way,” a piece on The Simple Dollar blog. My bonehead move was one I’ve talked about before, i.e., not picking the lowest-hanging fruit first. D’oh!
I know I have a couple family members who will get married/have kids in the nexst few years.
When I planned my budget this year i allowed a set aside for those expenses. It gets transferred monthly to my annual,semi-annual & future spending (vacation, car) savings account.
“And, of course, the biggie: Did I spend enough?”
And, “Do they think I gave/spent enough?” A few years ago, I had a co-worker who was very much about appearance and money. She went to a “friend” of her’s wedding. When I asked how it was, she replied, “It was nice…for what they could afford.” I hate hearing stuff like that statement. I wanted to look at her and say, “Did you really have to add “for what they could afford””? People amaze and irritate me so much sometimes.
I think the appropriate answer would have been “it was nice, I had a good time and was so happy to have been invited.”
Maybe she’ll grow out of it.
I keep a little gift hoard on hand, which I buy with (you guessed it, Donna) swag bucks gift cards. Right now, I have 2 baby showers coming up, have stashed disposable diapers with wipes on hand, and pretty gift bags from Dollar Tree—all set to go! For other occasions one could give the gift cards themselves.
A friend of mine was in a wedding where the bride told my friend that she kept track of every gift and expected $500 per couple. The bride also said, that if a guest couldn’t afford the wedding, they should not go. My friend and I were both horrified.
The bride calculated this number by dividing the cost of her ridiculously expensive wedding by the number of guests. Really? With a cash register for a conscience, how soon is the divorce?
“A cash register for a conscience.”
Snort. Well-stated!
I budget quite generously for gifts and it comes out of a section of my budget called Charity/Gifts which includes all giving, religious and otherwise and also tips. I wouldn’t want it coming out of the Entertainment section as I might get resentful if there wasn’t much left over for an occasional treat for myself.
With gift giving I would rather err on the side of generosity. It gives me great pleasure to give a nice gift and especially to a young or needy person. I remember with warmth when I was a teenager/student receiving money gifts from generous aunts and uncles at times when I had very little money.
Those little pick-me-ups, whether cash or a much-needed item, can really help a person through lean times. “Student” is often the definition of “lean times.”
Thanks for reading, and for being such a consistent commenter. Don’t forget to enter the Swagbucks giveaway I just posted.
Thanks Donna. I have just joined Swagbucks. I had never heard of it before reading your blog.
At this point, I have just accepted that I will always be poor. Money seems to be escaping at every turn around here. I guess it is because I am so tight with money that this is really getting me down. Who am I kidding, I’m SUPER cranky. I like to save not spend but sometimes it just goes and I have to accept it, right???
Anyone with kids — especially young adults still in college and/or just starting out — and a house knows that money is going to be needed at every turn. If I were you, I’d reframe it as “I will always have money challenges.” Because kids and house.
Yes, sometimes it just goes. I’m a little cranky myself right now after having spent almost $2,100 at the dentist. But I know how carefully you manage your funds and I believe you can handle those challenges.
Also Donna there is the possibility for making a little extra money. I had a medical ‘challenge’ recently so I started a small business in my house(hosting and teaching foreign students learning English) a first for me as I am not really a business woman or a ‘go-getter’. I have had two students so far(for 3 weeks in total) and today accepted a third. I never thought something like that would be possible. It did though, involve some sacrifice on my part as I moved temporarily out of my en-suite bedroom into a small attic room.
That sounds like a great deal in the long run, though.
Hey: If my niece fulfills her dream to visit Ireland, maybe you could put her up. She’d probably even sleep in the attic room.