(FinCon and the Center for Financial Services Innovation are sponsoring a writing contest: “In 500 words, explain what financial health means to you.” Here are my thoughts.)
My journey to financial health was entirely roundabout, and I didn’t get there until middle age. Financial survival, not financial health, was the focus of my childhood and young adulthood.
Our one-bath, two-bedrooms-plus-attic place housed six. “Lunch” meant peanut-butter-on-bakery-outlet-white-bread sandwiches.
Clothing came down from cousins. We got a few toys at Christmas and a little meat for most suppers. I watched Dad at the kitchen table, printing the household budget. $30 groceries. $10 shoes. $15 Sears.
When my mother moved out it was natural (if not healthy) that I took over, pinching pennies and fretting a hole into my 16-year-old stomach lining. We always broke even – the only kind of money health I knew.
Inching toward financial health
Five years later I was a single mom in a slum, supporting my daughter with a “permanent part-time” job and no government aid. I washed laundry and diapers on a scrub-board, cooked lots of beans, dressed the baby in hand-me-downs.
And I had the credit union scrape a sliver off each paycheck. Without a cash cushion, I knew I’d be sunk. (Still true: According to CFSI, 36 percent of households have more month than money.) I coped, but I was usually exhausted, often hungry and always on guard for the next emergency.
No wonder being pressure-romanced by a coworker felt dreamlike: He owned his own place! Unfortunately, he turned out to be both an abuser and a spendthrift.
My frugality (which he derided) made sure our 401(k)s were funded. Although I didn’t know it, I was inching toward financial health.
Hard times return
Years later I finally escaped, taking half our liquid funds. Though jobless, I felt hopeful because he couldn’t touch this money.
Except that he did, through a vengeful two-year divorce. My cash dwindled while I worked several part-time jobs, attended college and supported my disabled adult daughter. Living on crumbs wasn’t new. Neither was faith: I believed I’d prevail.
First I earned a full-ride scholarship. Miraculously, I landed a lucrative contractor job: Now I could clear divorce-related debt and resume saving for my golden years; I’d learned just how vital this was. (Only 55 percent of those surveyed by CFSI have at least $10,000 in retirement savings.)
Even more miraculously, I’d found true (and frugal!) midlife love. Things were wonderful, until they weren’t: The contractor job ended without warning.
Financial health and quality of life
Our shared expenses were low. How much work did I really need? Yet panic set in and I chased freelance projects nonstop, burning out after two years.
Which was a blessing, actually, because it helped me realize financial health isn’t just about wealth. It’s also about quality of life.
Money is a useful tool. It is not a religion. Take care of business, including saving for emergencies and retirement. But establish a work-life balance in accordance with your values.
For me, that means enough work to cover the bills and frills, and to meet retirement and savings goals. The rest of my time goes to family, friends, mentoring and, lately, writing books.
Making careful choices has given me a secure, happy life. That, to me, is the essence of financial health.
Hi Your email said do not reply. So, i came to your website. To thank you Donna 🙂 Funny how things happen. Here it is you read an commented on what i wrote in 2 emails to you. And, because you listened. And the comment you made. Made me think! Don’t Fear! There are others that do Fear. So, I Called around to a few places from SKYPE 😉 And I Was Told That I Had a GREAT Idea! And I Can Work from My Temp Place. I Was told I May Help Others to have Success Stories. Instead of Fearful Stories. I Mentioned You Site. And I Had My Confidence Built Up Again. Because of GOD and One Person From a Site that A Homesteader Sent Me Too. Thanks again 🙂 I Would Still Like to Have You as My SB Sponsor 🙂 Bye….I’m So Excited 😀
That’s great news! So glad to hear it. Let me know how the new job goes.
Wonderful post! Great synopsis of life and lessons learned. Frugality and love triumph!
I formally apologize for all the poopy diapers you had to wash by hand.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha….
But hey, it’s okay — I dunked those in the toilet first so they weren’t so bad! 😛 It was the generic Desitin that tried my soul, because that ointment took for-freakin’-EVAH to wash out. Since it staved off diaper rash, though, I had to be grateful.
Wow! That is a story that motivates me! You clearly have the experience to speak wisely about what financial health is. I can’t say my life has been nearly that hard, and I am not sure I would have fared as well as you given the same obstacles. Based on my own less heroic experiences, I definitely agree with your conclusion that money and life balance is the key. I am retiring somewhat early (this year at 52) exactly because I’m finding that struggling for a few dollars more is not as sane as living modestly on a few dollars less.
Thanks, Karl. I appreciate it.
Don’t do social media so can’t share the post I did purchase both of your books and your daughter’s book the other day looking forward to reading them!
Many thanks!
Thanks, Jean!
This is a great post, Donna. We’ve eaten our fair share of meatless meals to make ends meet, so I know what that’s like. I’m glad you made it thru all those hard times and now have a secure, happy life. 🙂
Thanks, Belinda. I appreciate it.
(And we still eat meatless meals sometimes, and lots of beans all the time.)
I never tire of reading your story. You’re amazing!
~FrugalStrong (formerly Lake Livin’)
Thanks, ma’am.
Fantastic piece, Donna! I learned a few more things about you which just reinforces my belief that you are one of the more interesting PF bloggers because you’ve actually experienced poverty. That, and you are really talented writer. I so hope you win the contest!
You can’t see me, but I’m blushing. Thanks.
Astounding Donna! This was such a moving story of financial health, and for me it was inspiring.
I never tire of hearing your amazing story. You have been in inspiration to me. My story was very similar and at 57 and an empty nest my life is much easier. I don’t have to be as frugal as I was though I save carefully for various projects and retirement.
Do you think there will ever come a time for you when you ease up on the frugality?
You know, I’m not sure I would ever ease up. To some extent, perhaps; for example, I might cook less if both DF and I were super-busy or in some way incapacitated.
One thing I would like to forego some day: buddy passes. Don’t get me wrong — I love the savings and am so thankful my friend passes them along to me. But as I get older I might want less uncertainty in my travels.
Thanks for your kind words, and for being such a consistent reader and commenter.
I will echo what a few other readers said – I always enjoy what you share about your personal story. It’s interesting and always well written, and inspiring, to boot.
[blushes, scrapes toe across ground]
Thank you.
Thanks for sharing! You really have a way of telling your story and showing that where you were isn’t necessarily where you stay 🙂 We all have hard times but what you take away from them makes you a better/stronger person.
What we take away from them does indeed become part of who we are, for good or for ill.
You have much to thankful for and you invite us all to celebrate with you. Bravo!
If any entry is going to win the FinCon writing contest, it would be this one. As always, your takes on the frugal life are equal parts experienced-based practicality and grace-filled wisdom. I am currently having my own midlife financial struggles (both circumstantial and self-inflicted) so your posts remind me that there is hope if one is willing to put in the work.
I recently bought both of your books as well as Abby’s, and I will gladly review them on Amazon as soon as I finish them all. As an aside, I bought these books using an Amazon GC I redeemed through MyPoints. It seemed appropriate.
It does seem appropriate! Thanks for your kind words.
Donna, I can’t way enough. You are the patron saint of frugality. Following your blog and reading about you life story is one of my greatest pleasures and my greatest inspiration.
Thanks. That means a lot to me.