(Happy Throwback Tuesday! Yes, I know it’s supposed to be Throwback Thursday, but my sandbox, my rules. This article originally ran on Dec. 23, 2017. Get ready to sing along!)
This close to the holiday I’m still feeling the pull to buy, buy, buy. Even though we don’t have a television to deliver marketing copy six times per hour, consumerism creeps into our lives in other ways:
Ads on the classical music station (fun fact: a local shop packed and shipped more than 10 tons of Alaska king crab last Christmas).
Displays of holiday foods and gifts at the supermarket and drugstore.
Signs outside other stores.
Christmas decorations at restaurants and my neighbors’ homes.
Never mind that everyone on my list has been bought for and that all the gifts have been wrapped and either mailed or delivered. I still feel that I haven’t bought enough. That somehow I should be giving lots more. That maybe tomorrow on my way to a friend’s house I could just stop in somewhere and…
Noooope, as Lana would say on “Archer.” So I decided to banish those thoughts with humor.
The first song parody is one I originally posted way back in December 2010. (Wow, I’ve been doing this for a while.) It’s set to the tune of that old Engelbert Humperdinck weeper, “Lonely Is A Man Without Love.”
For those of you too young to remember it, listen patiently to this song until you get to the chorus:
And now here’s the version DF wrote, under the pseudonym “Frugalbert Humperdinck”:
Christmas bills are scare-ful,
But one can be careful.
Lovely is a man without loans.
Celebrate the season,
Keeping things in reason.
Lovely is a man without loans.
Go in debt, you peasants,
Buying toddlers presents.
Lovely is a man without loans.
Why impugn your credit
When they’ll soon forget it?
Lovely is a man without loans.
Ere to shops I dart off,
First I pay the card off.
Lovely is a man without loans.
I’ll assuage my cravings
With January savings.
Lovely is a maaaan without loans.
The Christmas marketing drumbeat
This next one is mine. It should be sung to the tune of “The Little Drummer Boy”:
Come, they told me, and spend-y spend spend
Budgeting you can suspend-y pend pend
Buying such costly stuff for friend-y friend friends
Will mean a debt that never ends ends, never ends ends, never ends ends
So to honor all those Mad Men Men Men
Charge slips I penned.
Christmas time is so fraught-y fraught fraught
’Twixt those needs and wants we fought-y fought fought
Too many of us caved and bought-y bought bought
Of January bills no thought-y thought thought, thought-y thought thought, thought-y thought thought,
And gigantic debt we wrought-y wrought wrought, wrought-y wrought wrought.
Huge Yuletide bills we resent-y sent sent,
Each year we swear we will repent-y pent pent,
Yet the ads will not relent-y lent lent,
Seems simple holidays can’t make us content, make us content, make us content,
So to stores we flocked and made a big dent
In retirement.
And another one from DF
Anyone here remember the tune “Don’t Fence Me In”? Use it for DF’s parody, “It’s Xmas Time”:
Oh, give me gifts, lots of gifts, underneath the shiny tree
It’s Xmas time.
Give me gifts, lots of gifts, and make sure they’re all for me
It’s Xmas time.
Nordstrom’s, Macy’s, now you’re talkin’
Have it in your hand before you even walk in
Takes a lot of stuff to fill a six-foot stocking
It’s Xmas time.
Oh you can beg, you can borrow, you can get a gun and go and break some laws
(Just get the dough.)
On Christmas morn if I don’t get it, just forget it, ’cause I’m killin’ Santa Claus.
(BANG! Ho, ho ho.)
You know the more you buy, the more I’ll love you, honey
Remember that gag gifts ain’t that funny
Don’t even send a card unless you put in money
Whee! It’s Xmas time.
(Had enough? Just one more. Besides, you’re lucky I chose this one and not another one of DF’s songs, “Rudolph, the Roasted Reindeer.”)
Oh, what fun…
This one is mine, set to the tune of “Jingle Bells”:
Dashing through the store
Buying no more than I need
Ignoring all the “sales”
That make my budget bleed.
I choose my gifts with care
Each one makes spirits bright,
What fun it is to shop with flair
And not go broke tonight!
Jingle coins, jingle coins, listen to them clank
Oh what fun it is to stash
That cash into a ba-aaank!
Shop with care, shop with care, put that card away
Oh, what fun you will have on your debt-free New Year’s Day!
Christmas priorities
Well, that was fun. Mostly.
Humor helps me keep my priorities in order. Sure, part of me still buys in (as it were) to the idea that more gifts would be fun. Part of me still wants to get my nephew that game system that costs $499, or treat a friend to a luxurious weekend out of town. [Editor’s note: Remember, this was pre-pandemic wishful thinking.]
But most of me prefers to focus on personal money goals: a healthy emergency fund, saving for retirement, helping others, visiting family and friends. Besides, if I could afford a $499 game system I would be more likely to set aside that kind of money for his education fund.
So as noted above, I choose my gifts with care: clearance tables, secondhand bookstores, yard sales, judicious re-gifting, rewards from MyPoints and Swagbucks, and points from my rewards credit cards. No complaints thus far.
I’ll remind myself to be happy for the gifts I was able to give while staying my financial course. On Christmas Eve, DF and I will eat homemade turkey pot pie and afterward sit in front of the fireplace listening to good music and delighting in each other’s company.*
On Christmas morning I’ll go over and watch my nephews open their gifts, and eat orange rolls and hot chocolate with them afterward. That evening DF and I are invited to a big holiday dinner.
In between I’ll plug in my little tree, a tabletop variety that takes 10 minutes to decorate and brings me inordinate happiness, and treat myself to a few hours of reading (plus maybe a few pieces of DF’s newest peanut brittle recipe: bacon molasses cayenne).
Dear readers: Hope your own holidays are both merry and bright, and don’t involve fruitcake or live ammunition. Thanks for another year of virtual friendship.
*Today we babysat for his younger granddaughter, who’s 18 months old. At one point he and I connected for a hug and a kiss – and heard clapping sounds. The baby was watching us and applauding. That kid cracks me up.
Related reading:
- Whose Christmas costs more?
- I’m dreaming of a stripped-down Christmas
- Do we need a little less Christmas?
- How to beat the post-holiday slump
“Lonely is a man without loans.” You crack me up! I love what he did with “Don’t Fence Me In.”
My gifts are all mailed. I, too, have seen that I wish I could get children and grandchildren. The feeling passes.
Look again, that was “LOVELY is a man without loans” not lonely.
The pull to buy more is very real. I wish it would go away! I used gift cards earned from Swagbucks and MyPoints this year too. I also earned a Bath and Body Works gift card from Swagbucks. I also sold some things on Ebay and turned around and used that money to buy some things. We are done though and staying out of the stores until after Christmas. I do not like the crowds. I hope you and your DF have a wonderful holiday!
Thanks for your good wishes. The day after Christmas I am hitting Target with a gift card (rewards!) to see if there are any half-price flannel sheets. I’ll also go to Walgreens because I have $10 worth of Register Rewards that I want to use.
Mostly, though, I stayed out of the stores because holiday music is such a trigger for me. When I hear “Silent Night” or whatever I want to buy a new round of gifts for everyone.
Right now around my area (PA), there is a lot of the flu going around, so just for that I am staying out of stores! They said the flu shot they gave isn’t helping this kind of strain.
Wow I so enjoyed these! Good verses from both of you! Happy Holidays!!
These parodies are hilarious. Thanks for the laugh. 🙂
We are hosting Christmas Eve, and my daughter is hosting Christmas Day. Then, we work for a week and are off on a ‘graduation’ cruise. Woot! (A treat for ME.) Thankfully it’s been paid in full for months now.
I’m so not a fan of Christmas. It’s too long of a season. I always break the bank, then feel the hangover on the 26th. BUT, in the past 10 years, finances have gotten much better, and there is no more debt, which makes it much easier.
Wishing you a very merry Christmas! Your plans sound delightful! 🙂
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good…cruise?
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Donna,
I wish you and your family health, happiness and prosperity, today and throughout the coming year.
I am done with shopping, but I too have that lingering feeling that maybe I forgot to get something important. I feel something is left undone, when I am done. Happily, I won’t have debt because I pay the bills immediately, even before they are due.
Holiday shopping to me is like the let down when you just binged your favorite TV show and watched the last episode. Also there were times during this Christmas season when I just didn’t want to do IT. IT, being the shopping and shipping and wrapping, IT wasn’t bringing me any happiness IT was overwhelming my free time. Other times I really enjoyed shopping and selecting. I want more enjoy.
I loved all of your musical parodies, but my favorite was the one on Jingle Bells. I even found myself singing along. I bought all but one gift this year with my debit card. My son (age 35) asked for a bunch of his favorite books from his childhood to read to his son-to-be. Unfortunately, I don’t still have any of those books. The good news is that (for a price) you can find anything on Amazon! My one foray into Walgren’s was in search of a chocolate orange to give to his wife. This gift has been given by someone in the family to someone else in the family for over 100 years. I got the very last one and paid cash for it. I, too have a simple tabletop tree that brings me great joy—and peace. Glad tidings to you and your kin and a great measure of gratitude for your support in my work.
You’re so welcome — your work is wonderful, and worthy of support.
OMG, I’d forgotten Englebert Humperdinck ever existed! Thanks for the memories… I think. ;o)
Wishing you and yours a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
I’m so glad DF’s granddaughter was able to witness your affection for one another. I spent the day baking, as we have our big meal and attend Mass on Christmas Eve. I like to spend Christmas Day lounging in my PJs and eating leftovers. Today I made my sweet potato souflee, blueberry pie, pumpkin spice cookies, chocolate chip cookies, & chocolate fudge. Tomorrow I’ll heat the ham and make the mashed potatoes, rolls, and broccoli.
I definitely spent $ for Christmas, but saved a ton on what I bought. I think we’re out-of-pocket $500, but that covers 2 kids, 6 nieces/nephews, 4 grandparents, my husband & myself, 1 party gift exchange, & 22 teacher/staff gifts at the kids’ school. So, I’m pretty darn pleased!
I also bought gifts for a family of 4 (2 gifts each) from the Salvation Army Angel Tree and 8 gifts for Toys for Tots and spent maybe $35 out of pocket total for really good stuff! I count this out of my charitable giving, not gift, budget, however.
Merry Christmas to you and DF and tell him thank you for the cards he sent the kids. And save me some of that brittle!
Merry Christmas to your family as well. Sounds like you got some astounding deals.
And have you ever thought of making pecan brittle? I happen to know you have a supply of them.
That’s definitely a possibility. Although, my daughter likes to sell the pecans she collects to the farmer’s market; it’s her only source of income other than the tooth fairy. 😉
Merry Christmas to you and yours, plus best wishes for a prosperous new year.
Love the Jingle Bell one the most. Wondering what orange rolls are. Never heard of those. Hey, my hubby and neighbors love my fruit cake! I make it most years and wrap in booze rags. Maybe they are all drunk and that is why they like it. No, only kidding, it just keeps it moist.
Merry Christmas everyone! and a Happy New Year!
I mean those Pillsbury rolls with orange frosting. My niece buys them once a year, at Christmas, and her sons just love them.
My mom served those pretty much only on Christmas morning too! I think I’ll get some this year.
Get them soon, because up here at least the supermarkets run out close to Christmas. Orange cinnamon rolls seem to have become a tradition.
I was All Set for gifts a couple of weeks ago – and then the “need mores” hit this week. It’s not that I have anything more to buy – but suddenly I was feeling like It Wasn’t Enough.
Thankfully, I came up with a solution that worked on multiple levels. I had been thinking of doing some Christmas baking – but – since I live alone, anything that I bake, will be consumed by ME. And there are several traditional Christmas baking items that I haven’t had for a few years – so my inner child wanted to make ALL THE THINGS.
I combined my desire for all the things, with my feeling of “not enough gifts” and today I made 4 different desserts. I bought a 97 cent package of christmas-themed paper plates and tomorrow I will portion out some of each goodie onto a plate, cover it and hand them out along with each person’s gift.
The little voice in my head saying “need more” has been silenced and is content.
And I will be left with a reasonable portion of each goodie – everyone wins!
Win-win, with carbs!
Merry Christmas to all.
Merry Christmas Donna + DF, and a Frugal New Year! I spent my morning in a viewing of White Christmas on a DVD purchased long ago, a frugal Chinese meal with friends followed by a dessert buffet and our annual Christmas Bingo (with prizes of trinkets scored at yard sales!) at the same friends house! No gifts needed when in the company of good friends!
I am almost bursting that my gift to myself is, after 16 years of paying – I’ll be paying off my mortgage next week!! 🙂 It pays to be thrifty kids, and throw ANY extra monies at that principal!
A paid-off mortage — what a gift to yourself and your future finances! Congratulations on making that milestone. What fun you’ll have deciding what to do with the extra money in your budget.
Christmas Bingo sounds like a fun tradition. I may steal that one.
Will let you know if I visit my dad in Tarpon Springs again. It’s looking as though I’ll do that after the 2018 Financial Blogger Conference at least, since it will take place in Orlando.
Merry Christmas, Donna and DF–at least, I hope it was merry. 😀
We all got the flu for Christmas, and stayed home to avoid passing it on. The flu is one gift no one wants to receive!
The four of us did have a lovely Christmas dinner together, and that was nice.
Between the crud, MrH’s health stuff, and then the flu, I don’t think I even made it out to the stores this year. We gave a few small gifts such as a goodie bag (would’ve been a basket, but we had the bag) to friends and seashell ornaments to a few family members. Got our sons rubberband crossbows, and we’re pricing gym memberships for our family Christmas present. (True, we could exercise at home. But we’re not. And the gym has a pool.) Any additional Christmas money will likely go into the EF. Financial security is the best present!
Not sure why I cannot get my comments to show up with my email address but if it does show up I apologize I am posting this twice.
I absolutely love the parodies and actually sang them out loud! The Peanut Butter Brittle sounds amazing, especially with bacon and cayenne! Wishing you and DF a beautiful, blessed & Merry Christmas!
Thanks, Melissa, and the same goes backatcha.
This year instead of visiting my daughter who lives close to yours, by the way, my other daughter and I am hostessing phone pics of our decorations, our recipes, and other fun stuff we can think of. I’ll forward Engelbrick’s song to them and we will have a good laugh over that.
Merry Christmas to you! Yes, you have been doing your blog for a while, and I have been reading it for awhile. May we both enjoy that pleasure for years to come.
From your mouth to God’s ears!