Longtime readers know that I consider all months to be frugal. But since at least 2012 some folks have observed Frugal February, for one (or both) of the following reasons:
Holiday bills have hit with a vengeance.
Doing something for 28 days sounds lots easier than doing it for 31.
Whatever the reason, Frugal February has the chance to make a difference in your life – if you’ll let it.
Rather than treat it as a lark, a fad, a seat on the bandwagon, use those four weeks to turn a curious eye on your finances. Do you know where your money goes? Is it doing what you’d planned?
Don’t have a plan? Frugal February is a good time to create one. Often we aren’t taught to make plans with our money, but rather to manage the day-to-day stuff: bills paid, emergency fund created, retirement plan started. All of that is essential, of course, but what about later on?
Do you want to own a home, travel the world, become a full-time parent, start a business, retire early? You won’t know unless you ask.
Asking can be difficult if you’ve never been taught to dream. Or maybe you’re so financially stressed that you can’t imagine even getting out of debt, let alone buying a place of your own. Life is mostly putting out that day’s fires. So you neither define your dreams nor start to ask the questions that would help you realize them.
This Frugal February, ask yourself: What do I want? Where would I like to be in 10 years (or five)? What factors are keeping me from succeeding, and how can I learn how to push past them?
I’m not saying that everything you want is automatically possible. For example, I want to be the person who won that $1 billion lottery drawing, so that I could help some of the folks I know, and give most of the rest to causes that help people I don’t know. (I’d also like to get energy-efficient windows installed in our home.)
That’s not likely to happen, since (a) the ticket has already been sold and (b) you can’t buy lottery tickets in Alaska. (Well, except for the Nenana Ice Classic, an annual split-the-pot based on when the ice will go out on the Tanana River in Nenana, Alaska.)
What I am saying is that if I want something attainable then I shouldn’t just sit around wanting it. Instead, I should define exactly what it is and then look for reputable information on how to get it.
Maybe you could try that, too. And in keeping with Frugal February, all you have to spend is time.
Blue-sky your goal(s). Talk with family/friends. Research* what you’d need to make things happen. Your dream could be more achievable than you think. And if not? You’ve at least made a start on what you want, which means you can keep refining that roadmap.
*Again, reputable sources – not questionable TikTok or YouTube videos, or some shady newsletter dude with more enthusiasm than bona fides. (Hint: If anyone promises you high returns, run the other way.)
Stuff you can win
My giveaway of jewelry by an Alaska artist ends tonight, folks. The drawing takes place at 6 p.m. PST. Note: Those of you who were nuts about the dragonfly (or any of the other items), please check back in with me mid-week. I’ll let you know whether the items are still up for grabs if you’d like to buy.
And in this week’s “gift cards up for grabs” department:
Parent Portfolio is giving away a $100 Amazon gift card. The giveaway ends Jan. 29.
Arrest Your Debt is also giving away a $100 Amazon card. You have until Feb. 14 to enter.
Invested Wallet is changing things up by awarding a $100 Visa gift card. The deadline is Jan. 25.
Finally, Fresh Giveaways is handing a $25 Amazon gift card to one lucky winner. Enter by Jan. 31.
Note: If you win, I hope you’ll come back and boast a little. I love happy endings.
What the pandemic took
I’m mourning the loss of my dad, who died of COVID in November. Also grieving the loss of more than 400,000 U.S. residents who’ve been killed this way. And I’m mourning the shake-up this has given to our economy, education and social systems – who knows when they will be back to normal?
(Assuming that this isn’t the new normal, which would mean a major overhaul of everything we’ve known.)
Yet I also mourn other things. The chance to hop on a plane and visit my daughter, the opportunity to attend a play or hear a concert, the simple act of getting groceries without a mask.
Taking my great-nephew and great-niece to Dave & Buster’s. Going to the library. Attending in-person meetings of the writers’ group to which I belong (Zoom just isn’t doing it for me). Standing closer than six feet. Hugging someone who isn’t in our bubble.
Some of this is technically unimportant, especially as compared to death or loss of income. But it all adds up. Just ask Elyssa, who blogs at Brave Saver. In “A Case for Grieving the Mundane Losses of a Pandemic,” she notes that recognizing other people’s grief/loss doesn’t mean our own pain isn’t valid.
“Comparing our suffering, or competing for who has it worst or is moving through this the best, is a trap,” she writes.
“And it’s a trap that gets us stuck in denying or ignoring our own hurts. This can only ensure that we’ll experience our pain for longer.”
That’s striking a chord within me, because denying pain for most of my life was precisely how I got through that life. The pandemic has sent me back to using that “everything’s fine” coping mechanism.
I’ll be ruminating on Elyssa’s post for a bit. If you’ve been struggling with these feelings – or, rather, struggling against feeling much of anything – the article might help you, too.
Readers: Have you acknowledged any of your own pain/loss during the past year? Or are you stuck in that trap Elyssa mentioned: “Other people have it worse, so I have no right to feel a perfectly normal human emotion?”
What do I want? Well, aside from basic needs being met, I want nothing except to give to people who need it. I want more people giving to food banks, churches, charities, animal shelters, homeless shelters, and whatever else can help people with their basic needs. I fear we’ve only begun to see the misery that will be inflicted on our people with jobs being cut and inflation rising,
I lost my last aunt, the wonderful lady in her 90’s who kept a smile on her face through deaths of her husband and son, financial problems, and health worries. To be fair, she had lots of underlying issues that would have finished her, but Covid got to her first. I truly loved and admired that lady who had more pluck in her heart than I could ever hope to possess. She spent a lot of holidays with my immediate family because her remaining children lived far away. In Iowa, we have to mind the road conditions, so my husband would pick her up and deliver her back safely to her front door. She was the last of her generation, and I miss her. What bothered me was that no one could be with her at her time of death. She had been pretty much lucid, but the staff at the home would not let anyone in. As a Christian, I know she did not die alone, but it grieves me that none of us could be with her.
I’m sorry for your awful loss. The no-visitors thing was agonizing for us, too. I hate that he had to be alone.
And I, too, hope people will be generous.
I feel so bad for all of those who have lost love ones during this time. I too have suffered several huge losses. In April 2020, my Brother’s body was found. He was there for about a week and a half. I had talked to him two weeks prior. He died of alcoholism and it runs in our family. 3 out of 4 children escaped it, but he fell into it and never climbed out. I was his two year older sister and always looked out for him. I wish I could get over it or at least learn to live with it. I can’t. We were too close in too many ways. Then September comes and my two fur children died 4 days apart. Cliff, my big strong 14 year old yellow lab and Zoomie, the toughest little 4 lb cat you could ever know. I am seeing a counselor and she is wonderful. God bless all of you that have had so many losses. I think about all of you.
Oh, I am so sorry — what an awful, awful loss for you. There’s alcoholism on both sides of my family, which is one reason I don’t drink. (The other is that I’m obnoxious enough sober.)
And your pets…What a dreadful time for you.
Wishing you peace, and healing.
Thank you Donna! I enjoy your articles and have since I saw you on Money talk news or I think that was the name of it. You are one of my very favorite columnists.
Awww, thanks.
I live in a very small town with 4 small areas with less than 2000 people total. Most people know each other. At least half won’t wear a mask, as our area is nearly all Republicans. There are so many people here that died that it is really saddening. I just don’t know what ails people that they don’t think of others. I am worried that it is going to wipe out half the senior citizens here if this keeps up.
It’s very concerning indeed. Stay safe.
Just feel I need to add that there is stupid democrats also who won’t wear a mask. I know some.
Frugal February made me think of all the people now a days who are lucky to get any money at all to live on. They line up in food lines to get help in feeding their families. Using programs to help heat and light up their houses/apartments. But then, learning frugal living may help them survive better than they are now.
I agree with you, I miss certain things during this Covid time of life. My husband and I haven’t had a vacation in 2 years. He hasn’t had a golf vacation in 2 years. Boo hoo. I understand. We miss the fun of planning and then anticipating going. We are able to do these trips by being frugal and using frequent flyer points and hotel points that hubby earned while traveling for work. We live below our means. We will make it through Covid. We stay home and use masks when we are out. We donate where ever we feel the need is the most and will help the most people.
I have had to deny pain all my life! So, I feel fine since I am safe, have food, am warm and clothed. I have transportation that is reliable. I do get the food boxes, so I can feed myself nutritious food. I give to others with less. I have a companion in the house with me, so not lonesome. I do all the shopping or needs in public. The only things that have stressed me are politics and deaths of so many people who should still be alive, well, at least most of them.
2020 was a very strange year. I still think that my best friend who died in 09/19 was an early Covid-19 victim, but have no way of proving it. I was in the process of packing/moving at the time, so that really helped distract me from the loss. I still miss him terribly, but I’m so grateful I knew him for 33 years.
Financially, last year was very good. I got $600 weekly plus unemployment for 6 weeks. When I went back to work, I made an extra $2 hourly (hazard pay.) I also got some generous tips after returning to work. Still, I was very stressed about the future of the restaurant because business was down even before the pandemic. Another plus was our terrible general manager getting fired just before Christmas. He truly deserved it.
I’m not much of a traveler, but I’d like to see my 87-year-old dad in Arizona. Also, I’d like to get back to New Orleans. Maybe that can happen before the year is done.
I’m feeling more optimistic for our country now that we have Biden/Harris in office. I’m not saying they’re going to solve all of our problems, but at least they’re not delusional.
“At least they’re not delusional.”
Wow, do we set the bar low in this country…! (And I quite agree.)
Does your dad live anywhere near Phoenix? Once it’s safe enough to travel I want to go see my daughter.
Dad lives in Prescott and lived in Prescott Valley for 20-something years. Arizona is beautiful but… when I finally get to visit him, it sure as HECK won’t be in the summer!
Me either, I hope…! I prefer to visit in late winter or spring. It’s enchanting to go outdoors sans coat and stroll along sidewalks sans ice.
We have as a country experienced so much loss in 2020.
I am grieving the loss of my dear mother-in-law, and just recently a family member died in a traffic accident.
FWIW all of the people in my circle wear masks and follow COVID19 suggestions regardless of political affiliation.
IMHO assumptions made about people by some affiliation, race, creed, political party are guilty of prejudice.
I am hoping for a swift end to this pandemic, and our collective trauma and hope for unity in our country.
This was a very good article, as usual Donna. Your posts are a bright spot in my rather dull weeks.
I’m sorry about your twin losses. What an awful addition to an already-awful year. So many lives lost — and in so many cases, traditional grieving wasn’t possible due to rules on services et al.
I am hoping for better in 2021.
I am glad that everyone no matter their political affiliation wear masks where you are. That is not the case here and in many other places. I have great friends on both sides of politics and it is the republican’s that feel covid is not that big of a deal and they are the ones that do not wear masks. I love my friends no matter what their politics are, but this is what most people are seeing.
My son and I have now had and recovered from Covid, which now makes three of the four people in our household, even though we’ve all been careful about where we go, wear masks and wash our hands. Unfortunately, a lot of people where we live are careless or deliberately obstinate. Our county routinely has a dozen Covid deaths a day, yet so many choose not to believe. It boggles the mind.
When things are normal again, I long to see my sweet sister-in-law, to go out for a meal at our favorite cheap Mexican restaurant and do a few other small, nice things among other people. In the meantime, we spend time staying away from other people and donate to the food pantry run by the church down the avenue from our house.
I work in a field that is classified as ‘ critical infrastructure’ so I’ve been blessed to keep my job and draw a paycheck every week. However, while my children and husband have been quarantined (learning and working from home), my fear keeps ramping up that I’ll bring Covid to them. Will I catch it (half our company gas been tested) and give it to my family? Will I get it and end up isolated in a hospital away from those I love? Will a coworker give it to me? The fear that I could bring this home and harm my family keeps me up at night. True, so many people have it way worse, but this fear is very real.
I expect it is very real! So sorry for the anxiety you’re facing, even as you are grateful to be able to make a living.