In which I am flagged as a potential terrorist.

thI’m writing this from Sky Harbor in Phoenix, which touts itself as the “friendliest” airport. Certainly this is true of its TSA agents, one of whom got to second base with me without even buying me dinner.

Of course, she was just doing her job. An alarm sounded when I went through security. A quick glance at the monitor showed the word “explosives.”

A couple of agents moved in with a gait that was both casual and swift, if that makes any sense. It was a “hey, everything’s fine” crossed with “holy crap, that woman might be packing.”

Hint: I wasn’t.

But rules are rules, so I had to go through several levels of safety checks.

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Got a credit card? Get another one.

th-1In the past month or so I’ve had four credit cards compromised. Notice of the latest breach came via e-mail this morning: Some thieving bastard(s) purchased hundreds of dollars’ worth of stuff from Walmart.com and then tried to spend hundreds more at a different online company.

The other three credit cards weren’t part of the latest Target breach, in which as many as 40 million people had their data stolen. But that theft should help convince people to come around to my way of thinking: that you need at least two credit cards. Suppose you were on vacation or traveling on business and found your plastic didn’t work?

Which is exactly what happened to me: I’m currently in Phoenix, about to celebrate Christmas with my daughter and son-in-law. The card that got hacked is now kaput. What if I wanted to go shopping, or needed to pay for a van ride back to the airport?

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My shoulder says I need a day off.

thMaybe two days, even. A recurring pain in my shoulder and arm was exacerbated due to, well, stubbornness: I was determined to make candy to give away for Christmas.

One batch of sea-salt caramels and one batch of Scotch brittle later and I am hurtin’ for certain. I underestimated the impact that constant stirring (followed by cutting, rolling and wrapping) would have on my already-sore body parts.

Thus for the next few days I might put up nothing but the weekly giveaway plus a multi-blogger promotion that’s to be announced Monday. It’s not because I don’t have anything to say, but rather that I’m concerned about these aches.

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Giveaway: The TSA-friendly travel kit.

thInterest in these things never wanes. I expect that’s because it’s just galling to pay more for a teeny-tiny toothpaste than you would for a 6-ouncer on sale with a coupon.

But if you’re planning a trip back to family of origin or to someplace warm and sunny and exotic for the holidays, you’ll need the items contained therein.

Among them:

Hair stuff: Bath & Body Works Aromatherapy volumizing shampoo and conditioner. The aroma in question is “orange ginger,” and it does smell lovely.

Mouth stuff: Crest Pro-Health shampoo and multi-protection rinse (once known as “mouthwash”). Also a wee little container of Glide floss — if you meet the guy/gal of your dreams on that Caribbean cruise, having spinach in your teeth won’t make a good first impression.

Skin stuff: Bath & Body Works lotion (also orange-ginger), Banana Boat sunscreen (SPF 30), Blistex Nurture & Nourish lip balm.

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Coming up: The Talkeetna Bachelors Auction and Wilderness Woman Competition.

IMG_3567I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Come up and join us at the Talkeetna Bachelors Auction and Wilderness Woman Competition and you’ll dine out on those stories for years.

True, it’ll be winter* — Dec. 7, to be exact — and that means it’ll probably be cold. But that’s the whole point! You’ll be in Alaska in the winter.

You’ll survive. I promise. There’s a bonfire at which to warm yourself during the competition, and the auction and after-party are actually pretty warm due to the hootin’, hollerin’ and dancin’.

Besides, Talkeetna has a doctor.

I wanted to link to my first-ever article about Talkeetna, published in 2010, but my site was migrated to a new server and that first piece doesn’t seem to have made the jump from hyperspace. So I’m excerpting from that piece to explain the absolute hilarity of the event:

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Down the shore.

I got home from the two-week East Coast trip at around 1:30 this morning, exhausted and suffering from Weird Pattern Sunburn. The back and front of my neck and about three inches of shoulders were scorched stop-sign red where the sunscreen washed away. I’d been wearing a T-shirt and shorts over my swimsuit for a trip to Ocean City, NJ.

It’s really starting to hurt – it may blister, dammit – and my shoulder and arm muscles are seriously wrenched from holding my younger great-nephew in deeper water so we could jump waves. The heavy backpack cutting into the ache/burn during our long day of travel certainly didn’t help matters.

Wish I could have a professional massage, but nobody’s touching that sunburn. When DF put aloe gel on it last night I shrieked like a smoke alarm.

Totally worth it to have gone to the shore again, after decades away. I’d forgotten how lovely it feels to be cradled by the ocean.

 

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Signs you’re in South Jersey.

thSorry to have maintained radio silence for the past week. Getting ready to get out of town, the overnight journey (15 hours door-to-door), doing Philly stuff for a day and a half, taking the Megabus to Manhattan, doing NYC stuff in heat ’n’ humidity with my niece and her kids, getting the bus back to Philly and then the bus to South Jersey, writing for my day job….Well, it took more out of me than I’d expected.

I’m still pretty flattened even though I’ve been at my dad’s place for two days. It didn’t help that the Megabus out of New York was late, which meant extra standing around in the aforementioned H&H. It also meant that I missed the Jersey bus I wanted to get.

Did I mention the sudden high winds that powdered me with Philly grit while I waited near the corner of Broad and Vine? Or the thunderstorm that rolled in immediately afterward? And for extra credit, the NJ Transit bus was late, too.

Why not get a rental car? Two reasons:

I didn’t need wheels for the first two days, because I was too tired and too busy (I’ve had to write two MSN Money columns since I got off the bus) to want to ram around much. Dad let me use his pickup for short visits with my Aunt Dot and my brother.

Also because I’m cutting corners where I can. We’ve had a great time so far but we’ve spent a boatload of bucks. When Alison and her boys arrive tomorrow I’ll pick up the rental car and we’ll divvy up the usage.

Besides, on the bus ride I saw my first real sign that I was back in South Jersey.

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A get-out-of-town roundup.

thVery late Monday evening (actually at about 2 a.m. Tuesday) my niece and I will be be at the Anchorage International Airport with her two boys. Our trip will include historical/tourist-y stuff in Philadelphia, a quick trip to New York City, and about a week spent on my dad’s Christmas tree farm in South Jersey.

The kids are really looking forward to the latter because it’s truly Dude Heaven: tractors, power tools, a private gun range and thousands of trees against which to urinate. Tack on a possible one-day trip to the Jersey Shore (the family-friendly part, not the reality-TV zone) and they will be in ecstasy.

I’m still making arrangements for this trip – didn’t book tickets for the Megabus until the other night – and trying to get a little bit ahead on my paid writing chores. Thus no time to devote to fabulous insights for my personal blog. Instead, I’m rounding up a few contests for you to enter.

That is, assuming you could use stuff like a $500 cash prize.

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