The other day I had a massage, my last one with this practitioner because she’s moving out of state. On the landing by her door was a small stack of cinder blocks. I asked if she’d found a buyer and they were waiting to be picked up.
No buyers, she replied. “I’d give them away at this point, just to get rid of them.”
Guess who now has eight cinder blocks, even though she has no particular plan for them? Not right away, that is. But I figured you can never be too rich, too thin or have too many cinder blocks.
Part of me wondered whether this were a hoarder’s rationale. It could be.
Then again, maybe it isn’t. When it was time to build the greenhouse and some raised beds, DF had a bunch of materials already on hand: lumber from old projects or that had been given to him, windows from other people’s remodels, an old storm door he just knew would come in handy some day.
That’s more of a Bush mentality than a hoarder mindset. He was raised mostly in rural Alaska, where you simply didn’t throw away potentially usable things.
Lumber piles, 55-gallon drums and the like were stored because of their owners realized the value. Sometimes that meant a terribly cluttered yard. We’re fortunate to have several outbuildings, but even so there’s a lumber pile at the back of the property.
It’s slowly being reduced as DF puts the finishing touches on the greenhouse and builds those raised beds. He’s also thinking that if my niece wants to build her own greenhouse next year then we’ve got lumber plus a couple of unused windows to get her started.
What to keep, what to toss
How easy it is to get sucked into keeping way too much stuff. I skirt the edges myself, although I stop short of having a box marked “string too short to save.” Generally speaking, those odd bits of hardware get used and worn-out sheets become cleaning rags.
When I de-cluttered before moving back to Alaska, it was a shock to see how much I’d acquired in my one-bedroom Seattle apartment. Giving most of it away was a joy, i.e., things I wasn’t using found good homes.
It was also a little scary: What if I need a big box of gazingus pins one day? I’ll have to pay retail!
Well, what if I never need a single gazingus pin for the rest of my life? Not only am I storing and dealing with the clutter, I’m depriving someone else who has a legitimate need for the things.
DF’s mom has a “one in, two out” rule: If she really wants to buy something, then she has to get rid of two other items. That’s hard-core, and admirable, but I’m not there yet.
Questioning my choices
Yesterday I lucked into two items on the clearance shelf at Walgreens: artificial sweetener and dried plums.* When I say “two items,” I mean “four of one item and five of another.” Down into the basement storehouse most of them will go, to be added to the cupboards as needed.
Had I seen an unbeatable price on, say, an Alaska knickknack or a picture frame I would have passed it by. As I noted in “The 10-cent bucket list,” buying can get to be a reflex rather than a decision:
“So often we let price overwhelm utility: That’s a good deal! I better get three! We don’t think about how we’ll use the item or whether we even need it.
“I jokingly describe this as a “consumer tropism,” i.e., shown a bargain (or even the illusion of a bargain) we automatically move toward it.”
Thus I’ll keep questioning my decisions to acquire, and keep looking for things to give away. Since his father’s death DF has been slowly sorting the things he’s acquired as an adult. Some gets donated to charity; any truly useless things are discarded.
Happily, I find I’m losing my taste for souvenirs and tchotchkes as I grow older. That helps a lot. A sweatshirt that says “Fairton, NJ” would be a hoot but I’ve already got enough sweatshirts. (Besides, nobody in Fairton makes and sells sweatshirts. My hometown doesn’t even have a stoplight, let alone a souvenir stand.)
Full disclosure: I’ve got a couple of boxes I still haven’t gone through since returning to the Last Frontier. That happened back in September 2012. I need to make this a priority, because maybe I don’t need some of those things any longer.
Or maybe someone else needs them more. It’s liberating to be able to pass things along. The real trick is training yourself not to replace it with more stuff.
Readers: Do you find yourself wanting to buy more than you need? How do you translate “I might need this some day” into “What are the chances you would ever need this?”
*Prunes got an image makeover.
Related reading:
I’m a quilter, which translates not just to lots of fabric, but piles of books and magazines. DH has been very patient with me, but I’ve finally begun to trash (recycle) the extra magazines lying around. I like to “nest,” I get antsy in a pristine environment for too long. But I’ve finally gotten to the point where my Stuff feels like it’s crowding me out. Something’s got to give.
Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of crafts magazines in the mixed paper bin at the recycling center. Either someone’s clearing out after artists die or some of the artists themselves, like you, want fresh blood.
What a timely article….one word from me…GUILTY! Just yesterday I’m going to the Bank to make a deposit and along the way spot an “interesting” looking pile out for the trash man. I stop and snag a galvanized length of exhaust pipe for a gas furnace or water heater WITH elbows and two lengths of CPVC 1/2 inch pipe in perfect condition. The Owner came out as I was….”shopping” and explained that he hates clutter, etc. and I replied… “Yeah…me too” thanked him and left with my “bounty”. It’s a sickness….LOL…
No doubt that will come in handy on one of your repairs. Or maybe, as Kate says, you can sell it for scrap. When I was managing the Seattle apartment building a plumber who did some repairs threw the pipe into the recycle bin. That was copper pipe, and you bet I fished it out and took it to a nearby scrap-metal place. At that point copper hadn’t gone completely sky-high so I think I got around $12 for it, which went into my daughter’s wedding fund.
I once interviewed a guy who picked up “broken” mowers, leaf blowers and the like and fixed them up to sell. Generally all the items needed were a good cleaning and new spark plugs. Again, one man’s trash…
What a great story about the copper pipe and $12 is twelve dollars…I just may have been the lawnmower guy….I used to pick up cheap or free lawnmowers on CL and then fix them and sell them on CL. I made pretty good money doing this and the folks that bought the mowers usually saved 1/2 what they would have paid buying new. Picked up some mowers this year BUT they were too nice to let go….as I said it’s a sickness….
Hey JestJack, did you consider that your local scrap yard may give you a few bucks for that piece of pipe? Just sayin’. I’m trying to follow DF’s mother’s good example, except in my case it’s one in, one out. And I am a sucker for “twofer” and “three-fers” at the supermarket. DH is terrible for keeping stuff for “someday” but occasionally he’s right and I’m wrong… and I HATE it when that happens!!
Hi Kate, I’m a scrapper but alas….scrap is in the “pits”… metal is going for 3 cents a pound used to go for 11 cents, And copper was bringing $3 a pound and now it’s down to $1.60. My HOPE is this galvanized exhaust pipe will be used on one of the rentals. This stuff is never cheap and would probably go for over $20 with the connectors and elbows at Home Depot…
That reminds me of the time I saw half a dozen brand-new, never-used thermostats at a church yard sale. They were the same kind used in the apartment building I managed and cost only a buck each. I grabbed all six and gave them (along with an invoice for $6) to the owner of the building. His face lit up, because he was paying a lot of money for these things at the store.
Sometimes you just luck out. Many years ago at an Alaska yard sale I found two huge spools of copper wire for $1 and $2. An artist friend was delighted to get them; she was obtaining the copper wire for her art by going to the scrap yard and hoping she’d find what she wanted. These days she’s not using copper, so if I were ever to be that lucky again — and I probably won’t be — I’d sell the copper for scrap.
I think one of my epiphanies here was when I saw something (don’t remember what) at a thrift store and thought, “What a great deal!” But then I realized that I didn’t need that thing and that it would be a great deal for someone else, too. So I felt better about leaving it.
The things that get me are the ones that are going to be thrown away. “Put that in a landfill? But there’s plenty of use left in it!”
We still have a lot of stuff to go through from when my husband’s father and his aunt passed away. At least we finally finished sorting all the books!
One man’s trash is indeed another man’s treasure, as Elizabeth Vega’s comment shows. We’re certainly glad that a neighbor and my friend Linda B. were replacing windows in their homes, because it meant a greenhouse for us (and maybe a starter greenhouse kit for my niece).
Here’s my epiphany: When I looked at a beautiful pottery mug in a gift shop and realized that I don’t have to own something in order to appreciate it. Do I like to support the arts? Sure. Do I have to buy something from every art show/gift shop/theater piece I attend? Nope.
A family member of mine was an actual hoarder: five houses filled to the rafters with rotting “treasures”, and literally months spent sorting through it all after her death. And my mother was far from a hoarder, but just her house filled with ordinary stuff took us weeks to get through after her passing. Having learned first hand what a trying experience it is to sort through the possessions of deceased loved ones, we’ve set our minds on traveling lightly through this life. We still work at setting by the needed stores for emergencies, but at not keeping junk.
Now Mr Vega and I are living in our first house, and there is indeed a stack of used fencing leaning against a tree that we brought home because it was free. The real find was a slightly cracked sink, still better than ours, sitting in the rubbish pile where he got the fencing. We’re going to repair and install the sink, and that fencing is going to find a project to be part of by winter time, or out it goes! Someone is always replacing something, and I’m sure there will be plenty of scrap wood around when we need it!
Someone is always getting rid of scrap wood. I bet that if there’s an Austin Freecycle it’s a really awesome chapter.
Here’s to traveling lightly!
My grandmother began divesting herself of things when she reached her eighties, and my mother is now doing the same. Like her mother, mine asks people if they need what she wants to get rid of, or asks the children if they want something she has. I remember my mom saying she was so grateful that her mother did most of the clearing out for her before she died. So I guess my mom is doing the same for us. Some things are going into yard sales, lots to charity, etc. What I’m learning is that people don’t really need much of what they keep. Now I am looking around my house and asking “what picture does this paint of me?” What I keep in some ways defines me. I see a garage sale in my future, and some trips to Goodwill. I don’t want to live in a prison that I built myself, with bricks of books, magazines, papers, and all the rest. It’s like space junk: still there because of inertia.
That’s why DF is clearing out: He had to do this for his father and he doesn’t want his sons to have to do it for him.
A lot of what we buy is important to us at the time, but years later we don’t have the same attachment. I’m for keeping the stuff that still gives me pleasure and finding good homes for the rest.
Nice reference with the “Gazingus Pin” back to “Your Money or Your Life” book. Made me realize that I haven’t re-read it in a while and I probably should. Thanks!
Just a thought about “leaving a mess for your kids”. My Dad isn’t well and could care less the “mess” he leaves me. What I find enjoyable is when I try to get him to “de-clutter” and he can tell me what he paid for an item and where it came from. BUT couldn’t tell you what he had for dinner last night. I’m sure when we have to go thru his things it will be both painful and rewarding.
Oh man, you had me on this one, Donna… For decades, my husband and I have referred to this category as “PGS,” i.e. “Perfectly Good Stuff” (that we *might* need someday…). And we actually have used *some* of it. But, as we get older, it is getting easier to resist the siren call of the PGS, and, yes, we too worry about inflicting the sorting of this accumulation on the next generation when we are gone. Really don’t want to do that. Great motivation both to resist and to discard! But I’m not totally immune… Recently a friend clearing out a shed before it was demolished mentioned she had some bricks to get rid of, and I lit up. Rocket stove, anybody??
Some folks just don’t understand that “setting it aside just cuz” mentality. I was at Wallyworld the other day and they had cord stops (those springy things at the end of clothing and gear ties) on clearance. I bought two packs of 4 for 50 cents each…normally they are 50 cents for each stop. My friend said, “what are you doing with those”. Nothing at the moment, but they’re a good price! Friend then said….oh I just take those off and THROW THEM OUT. I had all I could do to keep my hair from lighting on fire….no no…just give them to me please.
Yep. I save the shoelaces when I finally discard a pair of shoes or sneakers, and cut the buttons off old shirts that are being turned into cleaning rags. Just cuz these things eventually get re-used.
Thanks for reading, and for leaving a comment.
Donna, first of all, too bad about the massage therapist. I love a good massage. When I read about the cinder blocks I thought “ooo, what a great find!” You could put some pieces of lumber between them and make some temporary shelves. My parents grew up during the depression and my dad repurposed a lot of things. Had an uncle who was an organized hoarder. Place was packed with stuff but it was all clean, labeled and neatly organized. He had stacks of old National Geographic magazines we couldn’t give away; schools and libraries said “no thanks.” My dad had to clean out most of it since my cousins lived out of state. I got a fan and a set of wrenches. When my mom passed away my dad started giving things away. Last year I had to help clean out both my dad’s house and my mother-in-law’s after they died. I have to be honest and admit that I seemed to have inherited my dad’s re-use genes. I just made some fall leaf decorations out of brown packaging paper. Pinterest is dangerous place for me! However I do hate clutter and try to keep most areas organized and clutter free.
I’m am totally prone to buying more than I need. It’s just my husband and I and yet sometimes the amount of items I fill my grocery carts warrants stares from others. I like to bargain hunt and coupon, so that means buying more than I need for right now. But, I do go a little (a lot) overboard sometimes. When we moved across country, I could barely believe how much stuff I accumulated. But, it’s like you said, I just can’t throw something away that might be useful someday.
“But we might use it someday!” he or I cry, in disbelief as the other one holds up a box or Thing That Has Not Been Used with a quirked eyebrow.
We have agreed that we have a problem, and that if we cannot actually NAME that specific use, we’re not to keep a thing just because it’s the perfect size for Someday-What-if-But-I-COULD-Use-It. It’s a joint effort to make sure that we at least adhere to the 1 in-1 out rule as much as we can. Sometimes it’s a bit harder, and has gotten a bit tougher with LB, but we are getting a lot better at questioning things we add.
A dear friend is a hoarder of an alarming amount of goods, and his kids look on in dismay as they see multiple generations’ worth of things being accumulated. I don’t know what I’ll have to get rid of when my dad passes but I suppose that’s the advantage of being poor, isn’t it? You can’t buy all THAT much stuff if you’re not willing to rack up debt.
I’m very glad that we’re using up some of the lumber, especially since it resulted in that wonderful greenhouse. Other stuff is slowly leaving the house as well, usually to a charity thrift shop. A local used-book place will look at any tomes we want to jettison, and here’s the beauty part: If they don’t want the books you can authorize their being put in the pile that a charity comes to pick up.
Sure, I want to keep things I might need some day. I’m just getting more selective, although it’s sometimes very difficult to let go.
“Things are in the saddle and ride mankind.” Ralph Waldo Emerson was a man before his time!
Is that ever true! And 150 years ago, too!
My problem is stocking up on non-perishable stuff I like, but buying too much and getting tired of it before my stock is depleted. I like trying new things but am now stuck using the same body wash for over a year because I bought so many bottles when it was on sale and I do not like wasting things. Now I try to remind myself to not stock up too much because there will be another sale by the time I need more.
Donate it to the shelter, maybe? But you’re right: More sales will come along.
I believe my worst stock up is with shoes. I want the black one and the brown one. The black one get worn to the nub and the brown one lingers.
Sometimes I think and think about wanting to donate shoes. It could be weeks of stray thoughts before for example a pair of shoes that just never fit right, but I paid good money for, goes to the church rummage sale pile. Other times, I see the shoe(s) in a new light and in a flash it uselessness is obvious and out it goes.
I used to have a coworker who became my friend who was a hoarder of books. She would even buy a book twice because she couldn’t find her original copy because she had so much! Luckily for me she would sometimes gift me a copy. I recently sold some books but I tried hard not to wince to sell books. Eventually books are not worth much the longer you hold on to them but awww!! Do you think it’s a frugal/ poor mentality that contributes to it?? I know I find it hard to resist food sales. All I have to do is think back to being hungry and it sways me to buy.
I have the same issues with both books and food. It’s been tough to remind myself that I have plenty of (whatever food) and need to use it up before buying more. And that yes, a good sale price will eventually occur.
Worse than giving away/selling books? Finding them in the recycling bin:
http://donnafreedman.com/2013/03/23/a-graveyard-of-reading/
I work in a school I noticed I have the no such thing as to many books mentality. When I moved I got rid of more than half and now every six months or so I go through the stacks again. Any I do not love or use for teaching purposes with my kids I get rid of. Also now I check the goodwill for books instead of paying full price for new books for the kids to read.