Five years ago I wrote a post called “Why I sewed my underwear.” That piece still gets good traction; either people want to be justified in sewing their own smalls, or they want to read just why someone would bother repairing when replacement undies are so cheap.
(Well, cheap the way that I buy them: six- or eight-pack cotton drawers from Hanes. I’m well aware that solo scanties can cost $30 or more. I would never deny any woman – or any man, or any non-binary person – undies that make them feel pretty. Personally, though, I’m built for comfort, not for speed.)
Today I threw out five pairs of unmentionables. And I feel just fine with that, for a couple of reasons.
The fixes weren’t holding. Either I’m a lousy sew-and-sew or some garments simply can’t be repaired over and over. DF thinks it’s the latter: “After one fix, out it goes.” And this is from a man who has been known to repair just about everything. Once, when the elbows of a shirt were threadbare, he cut the fabric above the elbow and started hemming his new short-sleeved shirt.
It’s okay not to wear tattered tighty-whities. I can afford new, whole briefs rather than having to slide (carefully!) into a few loosely connected underwear molecules. After all, I do have a job and that job lets me replace things that need replacing.
So yes, I bought new bloomers. But I did it frugally, because of course I did.
In fact, the purchase was frugal in three ways:
First, I bought on clearance – and in bulk. Yep, I found five-packs of last-chance step-ins. They were about 60% cheaper than the usual packages I buy.
Second, I got a discount on the discount. It was the first Tuesday of the month, aka Senior Tuesday, when people over age 50 can get 10 percent off most items at this store. “Most” apparently includes “clearance lingerie.”
Finally, the purchase helped DF and me meet a price point. The store was offering whole turkeys for 47 cents per pound if you spent at least $50. So I tossed five packages of pants into our shopping cart. We got a 20.65 pound turkey that we plan to roast and then pressure-can to produce quart jars of shelf-stable protein that makes wonderful pot pie, stroganoff and other comfort foods.
No more church underwear
As everyone’s mom is alleged to have said, you shouldn’t leave the house without decent underwear in case you get hit by a car. Wouldn’t want the trauma team to tsk-tsk as they cut substandard knickers off your mangled body. I’m all set now. It’ll likely be years before I start feeling irritated at the sight of what we used to call “church underwear” (holey) in the laundry basket.
Will I fix any little tears that appear along the seams? Probably. But once the fixes stop taking, I will remember that it’s really okay to let go. I’m no longer so impoverished I can barely afford food, let alone undergarments.
The days of putting off replacements due to fear of privation are over. Of course, I see no reason to overpay so I’ll look for the best price. This batch of 25 pairs set me back just $22.35, or 89.4 cents per pair. (Insert your own “cheap-ass” pun here.)
Sure, it was nice to find these cheap chonies. But I would have bought them even at the regular six- or eight-pack price. Some things are worth the freight, even if I don’t plan on being hit by a car any time soon.
Related reading:
- How much underwear do you have?
- Adventures in the clearance section
- How often do you wash your jeans?
Will you share where you found this deal?
When I was so poor I could not afford store-bought underwear, I made my own. That solved another problem, too. I could make nylon underwear with cotton crotches.
And, I could make them cheaper than I could buy underwear. I knew where to buy fabric cheaply!
I could still make a mend stay in place because I had a serger that made a very good seam.
It was at Fred Meyer, a Pacific Northwest chain that was later acquired by Kroger.
Thanks. I would never think to go to Kroger to buy underwear.
Fred Meyer sells groceries but it’s also a department store with clothing, household goods, hardware, toys and gardening supplies. One-stop shopping, as they say.
Freddie’s is great and I miss it a lot in Phoenix. I wish we still had one near me.
“What’s on your list today? You’ll find it at Fred Meyer.”
I was raised under the rule of don’t wear ragged underpants because if you get into an accident… (what? Will they refuse to restart your heart if you have holey underpants on? It was never made clear to me.) Anyway, the one time in my life I ran out of clean underpants and decided for that quick run to the store I would go commando, I fell and broke my ankle with a compound fracture. Ambulance had to be called and in the ER, on my way to surgery, the nurse apologized that somehow they had misplaced my underpants when they removed my clothing…
That’s hilarious! Laughed out loud and made my day. Sorry about your ankle though!
See!! Mom was right! 😄
Hilarious. I have another one. Many years ago a friend of mine ran out of clean underwear so she put on a pair of her husband’s. They went to visit his family who had guests over. She was on the floor doing something and her shirt rode up just enough to see the tops of the underwear.
Her insensitive dolt of a husband, said loudly “Maxine, are you wearing my underwear?” Grandma was hard of hearing and had to ask that it be repeated several times. Clearly, no one in the house missed it.
I was thinking a verdict of justifiable homicide could have been brought in if she killed the insensitive dolt.
As a kid, my friend rode her bike to a neighbor’s to swim in the pool. She wore shorts and a T-shirt over her swimsuit. After swimming she realized she didn’t have underwear, but it was just a short ride home so she went commando.
You guessed it: She got hit by a car on the way home.
As they loaded her into the ambulance all she could think was, “They’re going to cut off these shorts and see that I’m not wearing any underpants. Mom was right !”
I can hear my mom saying, “See what happened to her??? I was right!”
If you have 25 pairs of undies, you only have to do laundry every 3 weeks.
Ha! But I plan to open only one package at a time. Already have some existing drawers in the rotation.
Good for you!
Underwear molecules….you made me laugh out loud, and set quite the jovial tone for my week. I’m wearing my sketchiest pair of undies in honor of you today.
Omg Donna, never thought there was another one like me! You made my day, thank you
Donna,
I recently bought underwear that are pretty and fit just right and are great quality. I bought them at TJ Maxx. I realized they fit so well that I should get more because I’d realized I’d been wearing underwear that was scratchy, cut wrong, etc. But Covid hit, and because of high risk health issues, I have stayed home. No shopping at TJ Maxx. So I went on EBay and found the same sets—and I did something I never do. I paid more than I’d paid at TJ Maxx and ordered them. I wear them every day. It was totally worth it to me. Underwear—it matters!
Comfort is a thing! Glad you found what works.
I am the same when it comes to my unmentionables….i don’t want to pay for the pricey ones, and usually get them from Marshalls clearance rack! Covid times have me not shopping in stores much, so got the Hanes 6 pack from a Kohls sale, through a cash back site and used store pick up where they bring to your car! If that woman only knew she was bringing me fresh undies LOL…
I love how many synonyms for underwear you found! So fun.
I try.
I always keeping my old undies in a separate bag. When I’m going away on vacation or just a few days getaway I’m taking the old and dying with me. You wear it ones and throwing it away. Coming home with no undies to wash.
Nice.
I do this too! Except once, on a bus tour with a [female] friend, we stayed in a hotel so fancy she forbade me to throw my ragged underwear in the garbage there. Got rid of it at the next stop, though!
I constantly get free offers at a chain lingerie store so I’m usually in good shape as far as available pairs of underwear. When I travel I bring my last wearing undies and dispose of them on the road.
I’ve become a rebel. I am usually hanging around the house in a lounger/night gown and I skip the panties. When I rarely go out I will put a pair of too small ones on.
I’m also a fan of Hanes underwear; why pay more? Plus they’re really comfortable and last well. Congrats on your find!
I have maintained a Victoria’s Secret credit card for years solely because they used to send out lots of free underwear coupons. They must be on to me though-the coupons have stopped.
My mom, God bless her, was disorganized. Even as a stay-at-home mom, the laundry never got caught up. One morning in second grade, I was getting dressed and realized I had no clean underwear. I gave serious consideration to wearing a pair of my brother’s underwear, but this was 1967, when little girls always wore dresses, and the thought that my skirt might fly up and reveal that I was wearing boys underpants gave me pause. I sneaked into the laundry room and picked out the cleanest dirty pair from the heaps around the washing machine. And hoped I was not hit by a bus that day!
As an adult, I’ve always had at least ten days worth of underwear due to that experience. I have mended them when necessary and handwashed when I had to, but never had to consider wearing boys drawers since.
Now you need to get you some pretty, comfy, well fitting bras. Please know that I will do anything not to go bra shopping. Can only find ugly, uncomfortable, ill-fitting bras at exorbitant prices, in usually disorganized racks/shelves.
When my last pair of undies (plus size women’s briefs) wore out, I didn’t want to waste all that fabric. There was enough stretchy cotton fabric to make a headband. No one will ever see that it says ‘Jockey’ on the inside of the headband. (laughing emoji).