I saw “Alien: Covenant” and it succeeded in what I think were its twin purposes: to creep me out and to make me think.

And, maybe, to get me out of my own head. Nothing like a chest-burster to make you feel better about your reasonably good health.

But seriously, the film is restrained (albeit super-gory at times) and full not just of dread, but of a surprising undercurrent of mournfulness.

What’s the meaning of life? What makes us human? Why do the people we love leave us? Can a synthetic human ever become a real boy?

And, of course: How can I make the viewing of this film into a work expense?

 

I do this a lot, taking on:

• Television/theater/film: “Zombie consumerism”
• Movies: “10 financial lessons from ‘True Grit’,” “9 money lessons from ‘The Wolverine’”
• Grand opera: “8 personal finance lessons from ‘Gotterdammerung’,” “5 financial lessons from ‘Parsifal’”
• And even sled-dog races: “10 personal finance lessons from the Iditarod”

 

So I’ve come up with money lessons from Ridley Scott’s latest bugs-in-space flick, too. Did you ever doubt that I could?

 

1. Due diligence is essential.

When the crew winds up on Creepy Planet X, the android from “Prometheus” is there to save them from icky monsters. He leads them into what looks like a half-destroyed temple, and explains how he and the captain of the Prometheus came to be there in the first place. It all makes sense – until the crew members start poking around.

Personal finance also requires a lot of poking around, even when it’s uncomfortable. Especially when it’s uncomfortable: Should a college buddy ask you to invest in his start-up or a cousin-turned-realtor try to sell you more house than you think you need, it’s vital that you look clearly at the situation.

If you can’t afford to invest and/or the company’s prospectus doesn’t look promising, then you have to say “sorry, I can’t help.” And for heaven’s sake don’t buy a barn of a dwelling just so your cousin can get a bigger commission – you’re the one who has to heat it, cool it, clean it, maintain it and pay taxes on it.

 

2. Get a second opinion.

Early on in “Alien: Covenant” someone in a position of authority wants to make a decision that runs counter to the ship’s mission. The second-in-command says, “Nope, this is a bad idea and here’s why.”

The person in the position of authority doesn’t listen to reason. As you can tell from the previews (and from the fact that this is part of the “Alien” franchise), this doesn’t end well.

Suppose your parents’ financial planner is dead-set on your getting an annuity. The planner won’t explain exactly why it’s the best use of your money, or at least won’t explain it in clear terms you can understand.

Here’s what Liz Weston has to say about the subject: “Before you invest in any annuity or life insurance product, get an independent second opinion. One way is to run the product past a fee-only financial planner, who should be able to analyze the product and advise you of options that may be a better fit for your situation.”

Hear that? An independent second opinion. Yes, it might feel embarrassing to hold your parents’ financial planner at bay. This person has known you since you were a baby! Surely s/he has your best interests at heart?

Maybe. But maybe not. Verify before you trust. After all, it’s your financial future that’s at stake here. Make sure you know your options when it comes to money and Major Decisions.

 

3. Think outside the box.

The person in command pushes the wrong envelope – and others lived to regret it. Thanks, cap’n.

Yet later on a crew member has to come up with a solution to the enormous pickle in which the survivors find themselves. In some cases, thinking outside the box might save your butt.

Thus if your world is turned upside-down – a relationship goes south, you get laid off, a parent becomes very ill – your usual ways of doing things might not work. Flexibility pays off, even if certain behaviors aren’t ideal.

For example, after a bad breakup you could want to live alone for a while even if sharing with others would make sense financially. After a layoff you might avoid taking just any job for a while until you see if you can stay in your current field; here is where having an emergency fund and a low-maintenance lifestyle could pay off.

And if a parent or another close relative becomes ill, you may find yourself spending in ways you never have before. Things like takeout (because you’re too busy working and caring for the family member to cook), a housecleaner (ditto) and maybe even a leave of absence from work.

Almost certainly these things are worth the freight. This is another reason to have your financial ducks in a row: because life can change without warning, and the only thing to do is change back at it.

 

4. Improvise.

That enormous pickle mentioned above wasn’t something for which the crew had been trained. Rather than sit down and cry because she didn’t know what to do, terraforming expert Daniels (Katherine Waterston) suggests a way-outta-the-box tactic to save them all. No training, but plenty of gumption.

Suppose everything in your life is going just great. You’ve got the world by the butt, until you don’t. Remember the recent recession, when a bunch of people found themselves underwater and/or unemployed? Some sank, and some swam like heck.

Here’s how one Midwest couple I interviewed handled the husband’s two-year spell of joblessness: by delivering pizza, recycling cans, mystery shopping, starting a poop-scooping business, picking up handyman jobs, delivering a local monthly magazine, pet-sitting and e-Bay marketing.

They could have simply given up and lost their home. Instead, they busted their butts and earned enough to keep the lights on (although they did incur some credit card debt during that time). Once he got a “real” job again, they kept on hustling to pay off the debt.

It’s a cinch that neither one of them grew up thinking, “Gee, I hope when I’m an adult I can run around picking up other people’s pets’ poop.” Or that even after working all the gigs they could, they still wound up in debt.

But you know what? Life doesn’t ask permission to kick us in the face. So the couple improvised, and triumphed. Prepare to do the same, even if it’s scary.

 

5. Have a backup plan for the backup plan.

That first tactic didn’t work, as it turns out. Did they give up? Nope. Daniels worked with what she had – and ultimately they escape the menace. (Or did they….? I’m not sayin’.)

Maybe you’ve got an idea – open an AirBnB, have another child, whatever – that looks do-able based on your current financial situation. You’ve got decent savings that you think will cover every eventuality and/or a can’t-miss plan to get you through this cool new stage of life.

But.

You can’t possibly cover every eventuality. All you can do is make the smartest plans you can – and always have a what-if clause.

What if the first five lodgers are great but the sixth one turns out to be one of those devious AirBnB squatters? You’d need to pony up for a lawyer and say bye-bye to any income until then – which in turn means you’d better have another income stream (partner’s job, side gig), and enough money saved to get by until the end of the saga.

What if the pregnancy you longed for has you on bed rest from the get-go, vs. being able to work up until the eighth month. So long, savings. What if the child were born early or developed some kind of health issue – would you or your partner be able to quit working for a while?

Gloomy? Yes, it is. Just be aware it could happen, and could happen to you rather than one of those beleaguered but ultimately heroic families you read about in women’s magazines.

A friend of mine always used to say, “Hope for the best, expect the worst and don’t be surprised by anything in between.” That’s a pretty good life plan.

Readers: Seen “Alien: Covenant” yet? Or do monsters-in-space movies give you the screaming fantods?