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Monday miscellany: Mental ledger edition.

October 6, 2020October 5, 2020 by Donna Freedman

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Maybe you’ve heard yourself using this phrase lately: “I deserve it.” After all, the pandemic has caused so much stress and fear – and, often, financial loss – that many folks are in a constant state of anxiety. Thus we deserve that frou-frou coffee, some new nail polish, a great-looking book or two scoops of our favorite ice cream.

Personal finance writer Emily Guy Birken broke down that phrase in an intriguing way recently. In a post called “How to avoid a pandemic spending frenzy,” she said that the word “deserve” is a big mistake.

“If you deserve something, that means you could be un-deserving of it,” Birken writes.

Additionally, saying you deserve something “means you are placing yourself in a position where what you already have is not enough. This is no recipe for happiness, because there will always be another thing you feel you deserve at some point…Defining purchases and treats as something you deserve is a way to feel resentful, rather than satisfied.”

Giveaway: A box of (mostly) Alaskan stocking stuffers.

October 3, 2020 by Donna Freedman

Very glad I started this giveaway series in time for the holidays. Judging from the response I got to the previous one, so are a whole lot of readers.

While gift cards are easier to send (especially if they’re e-gift cards), my original intent was also to give away some Alaska items in order to support the local economy this holiday season. Hence the current giveaway: the small flat-rate box of (mostly) Alaskan stocking stuffers.

Don’t celebrate Christmas? Give them as “just thinking about you” presents. Donate them to a shelter. Or keep them all to yourself. Who’s gonna know?

A bunch of these items are courtesy of my BFF, Linda B., who is conducting a fairly ruthless purge of Stuff. Like many of us, she has come by sooooo much Stuff. Even if you have a biggish house (which she does), there’s only so much Stuff you can display/use.

Linda has been finding good homes for a lot of the Stuff through our local Buy Nothing Facebook page. Art, outerwear, jewelry, tchotchkes…It’s been fun to watch. And, occasionally, to participate in, as I was able to snare some things for the mostly Alaska stocking stuffers.

That box includes but is not limited to:

Automatic forwarding: Please stop it.

October 1, 2020 by Donna Freedman

(Happy Throwback Thursday! Given the current hullaballoo about the election in general – and that ghastly debate in particular – I decided to bring this article back. Originally published on April 12, 2012, its central message seems more urgent than ever.)

Recently a friend sent an e-mail to me (and a bunch of other people) asking for prayers for a battalion of Marines that had lost nine soldiers in four days.

It included this sentence:

“Nothing in the media about these guys because the news does not seems to care.”

In fact, this incident was reported by a number of media outlets – when it actually happened.

I wrote back to her: “All soldiers can use our prayers. However, this is an outdated post. The 3rd Battalion, 5th Marines were in Afghanistan from October 2010 until April 2011.” In the note I included a fact-checking link to show her where I had retrieved the information.

She replied, in part: “I guess you’re into extreme details. … You really could have just ignored the request.”

No, I couldn’t. Here’s why.

Monday miscellany: Decision fatigue edition.

October 6, 2020September 28, 2020 by Donna Freedman

“Decision fatigue” is hitting women hard during the pandemic, according to the HerMoney newsletter from money expert Jean Chatzky. A leadership coach and resiliency expert named Beth Benatti Kennedy reports a widespread issue among her clients: “I’ve never had to think about so many personal and work decisions.”

These women were already busy before COVID-19. Here’s what their lives look like now, Chatzky says:

“In an average day, women are making decisions for their families regarding school, play, meal planning, cleaning, pets, who goes to the grocery store, and whether or not risk for catching the virus should be taken in order to go to an event or have an experience, and all this is being done alongside a paying job for which you’re hoping to have a nice quiet office space in which you can comfortably earn a living.

“If it sounds like a pipe dream, that’s because it is. Because working from home has removed the boundaries that helped separate work and life, women are now working longer hours and are unable to turn work (off).”

That’s some serious fatigue.

What I don’t spend money on.

September 26, 2020 by Donna Freedman

Recently I encountered an article called “Things we do NOT spend money on,” on the ModernFImily personal finance blog. Although we have some differences – they have a small child and universal healthcare, and they don’t drink soda – this is a post I could have written.

That’s because it’s the kind of thing I’ve been writing about, for pay and for my own site, since 2007:

How to have the best life you can on the money you currently have, without losing your dignity or your hopes for the future.

How not to overpay even when times are good, in order to make your money go further in terms of helping others

How to edit the noise in your life so you can focus on what matters to you personally.

Their post inspired me to make my own, and to invite you guys to chime in with your experiences. So here goes, divided into a few broad categories.

Giveaway: $25 gift card of choice.

September 24, 2020 by Donna Freedman

Given the comments on my recent post about giveaways, gift cards are apparently what people want. I still plan to give away some Alaska-made stuff between now and the holidays, but it seems that gift cards will also be treasured.

And why not? They’re convenient for the winners to use, either to buy necessities/frivolities for the household or to give as presents to those they love. If cash is needed more urgently, a card might be sold: in-person to a friend or coworker, advertised on Craigslist or sent to a secondary gift card reseller.

Bonus: A gift card is also easy for me to mail. However, some might be e-gift cards, if that’s what people want.

So this week, the winner will get to ask for $25 worth of scrip to…wherever. I will try very hard to get the card the winner wants. Think, “Something that Donna can find at the supermarket’s Gift Card Mall, or easily order online.”

If it’s for a very specialized retailer that doesn’t sell e-gift cards, I might have to ask the person to adjust his or her expectations. Overall, I’m confident I can make this work.

Want to get in on this action?

Monday miscellany: Single-mom stimulus grant edition.

September 21, 2020September 21, 2020 by Donna Freedman

On March 26, writer Emma Johnson created the 2020 Kickass Single Mom Stimulus Grant. Since then she’s given away a $500 cash grant every week to single moms in need.

The criteria are pretty simple:

You are a single mother.

You need the money right now.

If that’s you, head over to Wealthy Single Mommy and apply for the grant. And if you don’t need the grant but know of other single moms in need? Please share the link.

This is a no-strings deal, according to Johnson. Having worked with her, I can say if she says she’s going to do something, she does it. No BS.

What kind of giveaway do you want?

September 19, 2020 by Donna Freedman

Steph was the best beloved this week by the random number generator, and wins the giveaway of a bag of Three-Peckered Billy Goat Coffee and Alaska Moka Bar.

Now I need some input from you, readers: What kind of giveaway prizes do you want?

Because this has been such a rough year financially for so many, I plan to do more giveaways in time for holiday giving. In keeping with my recent post about shopping where you live, I would like for some of those giveaways to be local: Alaska jewelry, art, books, calendars and, probably, coffee and chocolate because they’re so popular.

However, this stuff gets expensive and cumbersome to mail if I can’t order it sent directly from the folks who produce it. That, in turn, puts the burden on the entrepreneurs.

So I propose to mix it up: some Alaska stuff and I’ll bite the bullet, postage-wise (seriously: have you checked those flat-rate shipping costs lately?) and also some gift cards.

The question is: What kind(s)?

Holiday shopping in the time of COVID.

September 17, 2020 by Donna Freedman

(Surviving and Thriving has partnered with CardRatings for our coverage of credit card products. Surviving and Thriving and CardRatings may receive a commission from card issuers. Opinions, reviews, analyses and recommendations are the author’s alone, and have not been reviewed, endorsed or approved by any of these entities.)

Some 71 percent of U.S. residents plan to go online for most of their holiday shopping this year, according to a new survey from CreditCards.com. Will you be one of them?

I sort of hope not.

Local stores have already been hammered by the novel coronavirus. Some are barely hanging on. If there’s another stimulus check – and even if there isn’t – I plan to do much of my shopping here in town.

Note that I said “much.” A bunch of my gifts won’t actually be physical gifts, but rather gift cards that I get from rewards programs like Swagbucks and MyPoints or from my rewards credit cards.

But I’ll also be visiting some local shops with beautiful and/or practical gifts.

Sure, I could go online for pop-culture items for my nephew and niece, or cash in some of those rewards points for chain pet stores. But I’d much rather head over to Bosco’s or the Anchorage PetZoo and leave my dollars here in town.

Monday miscellany: Pandemic hangout edition.

September 14, 2020September 14, 2020 by Donna Freedman

The “miscellany” idea is one that I’d like to make a weekly (or at least relatively frequent!) feature on the site. It will be a mix of news, events and whatever crosses my desk.

This week I’ll start with what’s happening today: a free virtual hangout designed for mothers during the pandemic.

“Monday Mom” is a way for mothers to share resources, chat and, yeah, vent to other moms who Get It. It takes place at 5 p.m. PDT/8 p.m. EDT.

Monday Mom is staged by the LOLA Retreat, an annual conference that’s the brainchild of personal finance author Melanie Lockert (“Dear Debt: A Story About Breaking Up With Debt”). Lockert has two other events this week as well:

“Managing Debt During COVID” is just what it sounds like: tips and tactics to help you survive financially during the pandemic, with financial law attorney and money maven Leslie Tayne. She’s the author of “Life and Debt: A Fresh Approach to Achieving Financial Wellness.” The program takes place Tuesday at noon PDT/3 p.m. EDT.

Finally, the “LOLA Retreat Hangout” is a place to connect with other women and talk about personal finance. The topic of money is too often taboo and as a result people miss opportunities and/or make choices (or don’t make choices) that wind up affecting their entire lives.