The other day I mentioned “other stuff” that had combined with website issues and a deadline avalanche to keep me from posting much, and promised an update soon.
So here it is: My father, who recently finished radiation treatment for cancer, has been hospitalized with COVID.
I don’t even like writing that. Imagine how I felt hearing it.
Dad and I had talked by phone the day before he was admitted. He told me he’d been feeling extremely fatigued, and sleeping many more hours than usual.
When my stepmom initially called the doctor, she was told that this wasn’t related to the cancer treatment. Apparently that sort of fatigue/malaise would have happened a lot sooner.
He’s probably fighting a virus, the doc said.
Which, of course, he was. We just didn’t know which one.
No one immediately connected the dots from “international COVID pandemic” to “recent spike of cases in New Jersey” to “this guy is 84 and just underwent more than two dozen radiation treatments.” Probably because Dad and my stepmom really hadn’t gone anywhere except to get those treatments, during which time the two of them had masked and hand-sanitized without fail.
After that call ended, I said out loud, “He doesn’t sound right.” Sure, he had been feeling lousy for a few days so naturally he wouldn’t sound like his usual hale and hearty self. Still…my spidey senses were tingling. Something was off.
Even so, it was a shock when my brother texted me the next day. Since then I’ve vacillated among feelings of deep depression, intense rage and utter helplessness. It’s 4,300 miles from where I sit to Cooper University Hospital – but that doesn’t really matter, since no one can visit the COVID unit.
There’s nothing I can do except hope, and to jump out of my skin every time my phone pings to announce a text. My brother, who lives the closest, has become the point man for this particular war. Our stepmom lets him know, then he lets the rest of us know. A hailstorm of pings follows any update as various family members respond.
COVID vs. hybrid vigor
While I don’t want to reveal too many personal, as of Oct. 31 Dad was on light oxygen but not on a ventilator. The fever (never very high) had gone away but the cough had gotten worse, so they put him on two medications.
I’ve spoken with him one time but have held off ever since, in order to let him rest. All of us have, or he’d be on the phone 24/7 while countless other well-wishers wound up in voice-mail. Dad and my stepmom have a huge extended family, and a slew of friends both from the Delaware Valley line-dancing community (he taught country-western dance for years) and from the Tarpon Springs, Fla., complex where the two of them spend their winters.
As frightened as I am right now, I am still trying to remind myself of the good. They caught it early, before he became critically ill. He’s getting excellent medical care. And it’s amazing that COVID didn’t take him out from the get-go, given that he has cancer and had just finished radiation the week before.
Likely all that dancing plus some fairly sturdy peasant ancestry – we are not what you’d call a high-born family – have combined to keep him healthier than the average 84-year-old. Maybe that combo will help him beat this thing.
I keep telling myself that. I have to keep telling myself that.
And now I’d like to tell all of you something:
Wear. The. #%#!@. Mask.
Please.
It’s not guaranteed protection. But it’s a sight better than breathing in everyone else’s cooties, or spreading your own. If you’ve been infected and are asymptomatic, who knows how many people you might expose.
So even if you don’t think it does you any good, please wear the mask for everyone else’s sake. As the joke goes, Hannibal Lecter wasn’t wearing a mask to protect himself – he was wearing it to protect those around him.
Now that I’ve told you something, allow me to ask you something: If you’ve got a prayer in you, could you send one up for my dad? Any and all prayers – or good wishes, projections, meditations or whatever you call them – would be most welcomed.
Wash your hands, hug your loved ones and do your best to keep healthy. And wear the damned mask, already.
I pray that your dad will get better. I know you’re worried, but let us hope and think of the good things about him.
God be with your family.
Donna: My heart aches for your dad and your family. Prayers, positive energy, good thoughts, and whatever else, are being sent. Please keep us posted when you can. –Lynn C.
So sorry to read this. Praying for your dad.
Donna, prayers are sent. I work at a cancer center. My Covid job is screening patients as they enter the facility. I am amazed at the patients who object to masks and getting their temperatures taken, and argue it’s all a hoax. They don’t get in without a mask.
Donna –
Prayers going up for your dad and virtual hugs are coming your way. God Bless.
Donna, I’m praying up a storm for your Dad right here in NJ. My parents are in their ’80’s with health issues, so I understand how stressful this must be for you. And yes,…..wear your darned mask, people! It’s not all about you and your needs!
Donna, I am so sorry. Working in healthcare it shocks me the number of people that refuse to wear masks. Selfish people that only care about themselves. My parents are 80 with health problems and it worries me everyday that they may get sick. My heart breaks for you. I’ll be praying for your Dad.
Also praying for healing for your Dad in NJ. To give you some encouragement-my oldest and dearest friend was in the hospital for 10 days battling Covid. She is diabetic and overweight. She was also exhausted, since her husband has a debilitating medical condition. He got it, too. Both have recovered and are doing well. Your dad and stepmom were very wise to go to the hospital. The therapeutics that are used now can make a difference. Having said that, this disease is nothing to take lightly. Like you, I get incredibly angry when I see people anywhere who are not wearing masks, or who wear a mask without keeping their nose covered. The virus is not “going away.”
Donna, so sorry this nasty virus has invaded your family, here’s another Tarpon Springs resident (always wearing her mask!) on your Dads team of well wishers!!
Sending healing vibes!!
Stay strong!!
I’m looking forward to visiting him in Tarpon Springs once it’s safe enough to travel (who knows when that will be), and the three of us could meet at Dunkin Donuts again.
I would love that, and think of you when I drive by that DD, and your Dad’s neighborhood!!
I am so sorry. I have just prayed for your father’s recovery and will keep him in my prayers.
Prayers & Thoughts for your Dad and Family.
Well wishes and positive, healing thoughts for your father!
I cried when I read your post. I can feel your sense of helplessness. And I’m for sure praying for you and your Dad. I am guessing that you have all ready voted, but for the rest of us (I’m voting in person on 11/03) we need to be sure that going forward we have someone in the Casa Blanca who would NEVER mock people for wearing masks. Blessings to you, cling tight to your partner and keep us up to date about your Dad, please.
Casa Blanca – Love it!
Prayers of healing for your Dad, Prayers of peace for You and your huge extended family.
Prayers for your dad.
Hi Donna, so sorry to read this news. Sending prayers of healing for your dad.
Donna, so terribly sorry. Prayers. What a helpless feeling.
Prayers.
This is a devastating situation Donna & I am so sorry you must go through this.
My father is 86 & 500 miles away, so I understand the helpless feeling.
It is a timely example of how the war with this virus is real, unabated & surging. I will keep you in my thoughts & send healing wishes to your cherished father. Wishing you calm as you ride through this horrific storm.
Sending prayers, positive thoughts and energy to you and your family as you go through this difficult time. As hard as it is to be so far apart now, keep focusing on the reunion when this virus has passed.
Positive thoughts and healing energy for your dad and your entire family.
Hope he recovers soon.
This is the reason I always wear my mask and mostly stay home. Yes wear the **** mask.
Donna,
I am so sorry. I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. Catching it early seems to make a difference. Hopefully it will make a difference for your dad. Hugs.
Susan
I am so sorry to hear about your father. I pray he has a full and speedy recovery.
I also send prayers for you and your family. This must be a very anxious and fearful time for all of you. I send prayers of calm and steadiness for you and yours.
Yes, wear a mask, please wear a mask. I never go anywhere out here in Long Island, because people often do not wear a mask. I do not understand it.
May your anxieties be lessened as your father recovers and gets stronger each moment of each day.
Donna, my prayers are already out there, for your father, for you, and for everyone else who loves him. Take care.
Prayers are going up!!! Will be on the prayer list at our church as well. God bless!!!
And SO well said about the masks!!! It’s such aneasy thing to do that can help.
Prayers going up right now. Try to stay strong and remember that he is being well taken care of. The medical community knows so much more now than they did when this whole Covid thing started. More prayers going up intermittently today for his good health being restored. I wear my mask at all times when I leave my house but today I am specifically wearing it for your Dad. Christine
I will pray for both your father and you. We both have pre-existing conditions and are senior citizens, and we worry constantly about this. We wear a mask, stay away from people if we need to get something at a store that I can’t pick up curbside, and constantly wash our hands or use sanitizer. I just can’t believe the people out in our area that won’t do any of these things. They say the govt. isn’t taking away their right. It is so disheartening that they have so little respect for others these days. Our town is mainly Republican and you need to not open your mouth. I know of at least 4 people in our town which is under 2,000, that has died to far. I have been trying to ingest less news as some days I could cry. I pray everything turns out ok! Hugs!
I will pray for all of you and for the medical staff caring for him. A few times a day, take a minute to take 7-10 long slow breaths. It does really help.
Praying for all of you! Stay strong. ❤❤❤🙏
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. Saying a prayer for him and your family.
I am so, so sorry to hear this virus has reached into your family. I hope you can take some comfort in the fact that each day they seem to be refining how they treat those ill with Covid and people are getting better faster than when it first started and everyone seemed to be floundering.
Sending thoughts and prayers for your Dad’s recovery.
I am so sorry Donna. Sending prayers to your Dad and your entire family.
Prayers for your Dad. Prayers for you too!
I am praying for your dad….
Sending you and your family tons of prayers hoping things get better. Cancer is mean. COVID is mean. But you guys are strong. Take special care.
I’m so sorry about your Dad. I’m praying for him and your stepmom as well as you and Abby. I wear a mask at work, so I know how vitally important it is to do so.
Donna,
I am so sorry. Warm thoughts and positive energy are on their way to you and your family.
Donna,
I prayed for your dad and you. I know it is hard when someone you love is in the hospital.
Tammy
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, Donna. Wishing your dad a speedy recovery and your family comfort and peace of mind.
And yes, ma’am, I wear my mask every time I go out, which is not often.
My best wishes for your dad’s health. He sounds tough.
I wear my mask every time I go out and I was ridiculously thrilled to find Clorox wipes in the store the other day.
Prayers for your father’s health and for your peace of mind.
I am keeping you and your dad in my thoughts, and wishing him a speedy recovery. I always wear a mask when I go out, and just can’t understand why anyone wouldn’t. Blessings to your dad.
Dear Donna, So very sorry to hear that your dad, you, and your family have had this happen. Healing thoughts and virtual for all.
Virtual hugs for all
Sending you prayers, Donna. So sorry your family is dealing with this.
And, a definite “yes” to wearing masks. People can be so selfish during this crisis.
Sending prayers for your Dad and a hug to you; I’m so sorry this has touched your family.
I just don’t understand why so many people consider wearing a mask a hardship – just do it already!
I am so sorry to hear that your dad, and you and your family, are having to deal with this damn virus!! He does not deserve this. You absolutely have my prayers!
You and yours are in my prayers. I think the healthcare community has a much better handle on Covid now than when everything first blew up, and your dad’s infection seems to precede the winter surge (barely), so his timing is good. If you can call it timing. God bless all of you.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. DH and I always wear a mask when out and about. It’s the right, and smart, thing to do.
i’m so sorry to hear about your father. i wish you and your family best wishes and speedy recovery *hug*
Donna, lots of love, hugs and good healing thoughts for you and your father — being stuck away makes a bad situation so much worse. Hang in there and take care of yourself.
And yes, we wear masks whenever we are near someone else. So should everyone.
Sabrina
Donna – Praying for a speedy recovery for your Dad.
Prayers for your Dad and all the family
Donna,
I will pray for your dad each morning before I get out of bed. I’ll pray God strengthens him daily and heals him quickly. Also, that you, and all those who love your dad, will feel God’s presence in mighty ways as you wait for good news.
Wearing a mask is such a small thing with such a big impact. I wear mine first, in honor of my sweet mom, diabetic and currently in treatment for cancer. There are so many others like her that we need to do our best to protect, not to mention the general population.
Lifting you up Donna<3
I’m so sorry to hear this, Donna, and we’re hoping for the best possible outcome for him.
So sorry to hear about your Father. Sending prayers and positive thoughts to all of you. I am sure it is very hard being so far away at a time like this.
Donna,
You Dad is in an excellent hospital. Prayers ascending for recovery, and comfort for your family.
Peace,
Cathy
Hi Donna, Sorry to hear about your Dad’s health challenges…Good Greif! Cancer and then Covid….Whew! But it sounds like he is “a tough customer”… and getting good care. Please know you and your family are in our thoughts. And please remember that we are a bit South of your Dad as I recall and would be happy to help in any way needed …And I agree…wearing a mask seems like a small price to pay to have some semblance of safety and normalcy. Wishing you nothing but the best…
As my dad once said about DF: Jack, you’re one of the good ones.
Praying for you all.