Apparently I can’t read a calendar. Last week I offered a 40 percent discount on my Write A Blog People Will Read online course. At the end of the post I noted that the discount was good until “11:59 PDT Wednesday, April 8.”
Swell, except that April 8 is a Friday. Ooops.
Those who are still mulling it over (and I’ve heard from a couple of you) now have two extra days to make your decision. If you’re on the fence, feel free to e-mail me at SurvivingAndThriving (at) live (dot) com with any qualms. [Edit: This discount has passed, obviously. But if you were persistent enough to find this article, use the code 40OFF.]
For example, one reader wrote to ask how much experience was needed for the course. Although she does a lot of writing for her job it’s a very different type of scribbling. Thus she wondered if the course would be “too advanced” for someone who was new to blogging.
I responded with a note plus a couple of sample chapters so she could get an idea of what the course holds. If you, too, have specific questions (how can I know whether I’ll find enough ideas, what if I’m not sure there’s time in my life to maintain a blog, et al.), send them along and I’ll respond with advice*** and a course sample that helps address that question.
In other news:
The bank of Mom and Dad?
According to the “Home Buyer Insights” report from Bank of America, two-thirds of millennials expect help from their parents when they buy their first homes. I can see wanting advice on which home to buy (25 percent) or some physical help with the move (36 percent), but here’s what troubles me: Almost one in five (19 percent) of millennials want money both for a down payment and to help furnish their new digs, and 15 percent want “money for monthly mortgage payments.”
While offering to help your kid increase his or her down payment is a generous thing to do, it’s not required — nor should it be expected. Don’t be guilted into doing this if your own future isn’t reasonably secure. (Hint: You can’t finance retirement.)
And if your kid needs money every month to make the mortgage? Maybe homeownership isn’t a good fit right now.
And speaking of home-buying: From now until 11:59 p.m. PDT Saturday, April 9, you can get a copy of Liz Weston’s “Your Credit Score: How to Improve the 3-Digit Number That Shapes Your Financial Future” for just $9.99 by ordering directly through her publisher. Mortgage lenders (and potential landlords, and credit card companies) like to see a decent score before they’ll take a chance on you.
Move or improve?
The again, more millennials plan to rent than to buy, according to the American Express Spending and Savings Tracker. Some 42 million Americans are moving this spring, and only 41 percent of millennials plan to buy vs. rent.
This may not be because their parents won’t help them financially. Almost one-third of the millennials are waiting because they believe the housing market will be “prime for purchasing” within one to two years. Here’s hoping they save up decent down payments before then.
Incidentally, 10 percent of Baby Boomers are house-hunting this year. That’s twice as many as last year.
Also from the AmEx report: Just over three-quarters of homeowners are planning home improvements this year, spending an average of $5,100. Last year the average spending was $4,100. Whether the price jump is due to higher materials and labor costs or a desire for more frou-frou upgrades was not specified.
One-fourth of homeowners plan to fund those improvements with “anticipated tax returns.” I hope, hope, hope that they do so only after taking care of business, e.g., plumping up (or starting) emergency and retirement funds.
No doubt some of those home fixes are necessary rather than cosmetic: roof repairs or basement waterproofing, say, rather than prettier tiles for the kitchen backsplash. But I can’t help thinking of that couple my daughter wrote about, who planned to use a chunk of their tax refund to buy a race-car bed for their son, even though some of their utilities were so far in arrears that they were about to be shut off.
The guy was often unemployed and the gal owed money for student loans. They had two kids. One of the reasons they managed to scrape by was that his mom was their landlord and would let them slide on the rent. Yet when cash did come in unexpectedly it was off to a buffet or the casino.
Looking for money answers
It never occurred to them to set cash aside for a rainy day – and when you’re living like that, it’s always raining.
You can’t buy in bulk, afford dependable vehicles or pay outright instead of financing. Bounce enough checks and you might not be able to have a bank account, which means giving money to the check-cashing place both to collect your salary and pay your bills.
This isn’t necessarily because such folks are born shiftless. It’s more that you don’t know what you don’t know, and if you come up this way you figure that’s the way everyone lives. Although some people say that personal finance curricula in the schools won’t work, I can’t help thinking that it would work for some folks, even if it took time.
At some point in their mid- to late 20s, some people would hearken back to the class that said it is possible not to live without debt, and start looking for help. Certainly I’ve heard from people who got fed up with the paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle and searched for answers. (Hint: A good place to start is at the National Foundation for Credit Counseling’s Financial Education page.)
As always, thanks for reading – and I’m looking forward to hearing any questions you have about writing in general and blogging in particular.
***That advice won’t always be, “Of course you can do this.” If someone has just gotten divorced, changed jobs and is pregnant with her third child, this may not be the best time to start a blog.
Oh the irony! Just got an email from my step-son who wants us to co-sign on an FHA home loan because they don’t have enough income to qualify for the loan.
Eeek! Please tell me you said, “Sorry, I can’t do that.”
I haven’t said it yet, but it’s coming. So then they will likely want us to co-sign on an apartment, but I’m not comfortable with that either.
I’m thinking about what I would be willing to give–or lose–financially. It will probably be an amount that helps get them (he, his wife, and their two kids), into an apartment. But no co-signing for me.
I’m sorry for their difficulties, but glad you are making this decision. Perhaps you could help them get financial and/or vocational counseling. The NFCC, as noted, has some good articles on the basics.
I wish you luck, because you’re probably going to need it.
We’ve been down this road before with them. Wanting us to help buy a house in Texas when they didn’t have jobs there, another time co-signing for nursing school loans. Said no both times.
This time is slightly different–actually no–just another scenario. Kids just moved to another state where the cost of living is much higher, started one new job, looking for a second one, but don’t have enough qualifying income to get into an apartment. I still think we should say no, but are waiting for the details of what this “scheme” is, i.e., rent costs, length of rental agreement.
Remember that if you co-sign you’re on the hook not just for unpaid rent but for any damage the family causes to the apartment. As a former apartment house manager, I can tell you that even minor damage can cost big bucks.
Run away! Run away!
Would it help, I wonder, to have a non-judgmental talk with them? Something along the lines of, “Where would you like to be in five years?” If the response is, “We want to own a house,” then encourage them to investigate how to make it happen.
For example, they could talk with banks/credit unions about first-time homebuyer programs. A relative of mine, who’d previously lost a house due to financial issues with her now-ex husband, qualified as a first-timer because more than five years had gone by. She wound up with not just a better interest rate but found out about a local housing program that matched a portion of her down payment.
Of course, your stepson and his family would first have to do what my relative did: Clean up their act, pay off outstanding debts and improve the credit score. It won’t be easy but it’s probably possible. The fact that it isn’t easy, unfortunately, might turn them off altogether. But if they don’t take at least some steps to regain control, where they’ll be in five years is….right where they are now, except with deeper debt.
Thanks for reading, and for leaving a comment.
DON’T DO IT, DON’T DO IT, DON’T DO IT.
I speak from experience. Our oldest daughter (who is delight to us in many other ways) asked us to co-sign a student loan. She said it was on hold because she was still in school — but unfortunately, she neglected to let THEM know that. The upshot is that we found out the hard way — when it went unpaid for a few months (which we didn’t know), our credit score dropped 100 points.
In spite of asking her every single month, over the past year, to pay this off (she has the money to do so, via an inheritance from her grandmother), she still has done nothing. And we continue to pay every single month. I suspect we’ll be doing this until the loan is paid off.
Would we ever co-sign on anything ever again for her? I suspect you already know the answer to that question…
Wow. My question would be: “Does she know the answer to that question?” That is, at some point do you plan to let her know how disappointed you are that she has so little respect for her parents, and that as a result she is on her own for future money issues?
This is such a difficult position. I wish you luck. Thanks for sharing your cautionary tale.
I took an “Intro to Business” class in 9th grade. The first half of the year was about basic personal finance – how to balance a checkbook, budgeting, types & purpose of insurance policies, etc. I learned lifelong habits that I am very grateful for that my mother wasn’t able to teach me. I don’t know why anyone would think personal finance curricula doesn’t work.
It works for a select few but not for the mass of students. That surprised me, frankly.
Doesn’t surprise me. You can know you need to eat heathfully and exercise and still wind up obese. Just telling people what they should be doing doesn’t ensure they’ll do it.
Furthermore, I’m not sure that parental training/teaching has much to do with how financially disciplined one is. Frugal people tend to have frugal children because that’s their personality, not because of habits they were taught.
“I’m not sure that parental training/teaching has much to do with how financially disciplined one is.”
This. A personal finance author I know has one sibling who is struggling with bills and one who has filed for bankruptcy. They had the same parents and the same upbringing, but they are very different people.
Absolutely. I’m in my 60s, had parents who were blue collar and not particularly good with money. Nevefr taught us a thing. My sister and I have been frugal since day one, and are doing fine in retirement. My brother never got his act together, ever, died in poverty.
I took a similar course in high school, 11th. grade in the 70’s I think, instead of another advanced math course everyone else wanted me to take.
I learned so much useful math:
how earnings are taxed and in what percentages so that you know how much of your paycheck is really yours to spend/save,
how to prepare tax returns,
how to complete the withholding form so that you did not wind up owing the IRS after working and paying taxes all year,
how to complete the form to get a copy of or apply for your social security card,
how to complete I-9’s,
living expenses and costs in addition to rent (first month’s rent and security deposit up front, utility costs), avg. rents in the areas you wanted to live in,
and
determining the costs of car payments combined with interest to come up with your monthly payments and associated costs of running the car – gas, parking, maintenance, tire repair or replacement.
Being informed that car insurance for Baltimore City residents in our age group at that time was $3000 – 3500 per year.
It was the most useful class of my life. I don’t remember anything about food costs being covered. I still can’t do percentages, except for the kind I can do in my head (I can’t explain it.), but I think that has to do with a processing problem I have.
The marriage preparation classes we took via the Catholic Church before we got married were pretty helpful too, even though we were older than most of the class. We were shocked that people spent $600 per month on entertainment, but more shocked that they had that much income to blow. We were renting movies to view on our VCR (bought the floor model for the discount). Some were spending loads on food and restaurant meals. At the same time, I was combining $60 cash and lots of coupons to cover food for the last 3 + months of my BS degree. Some couples who took the class wound up not getting married.
Reminds me of a woman I worked with about 18 years ago – her son had finished high school, was living at home and “looking for work”. He found a job! So during his first month of his new job, he would call her (at work) around 10am – “Did you do my laundry? I need my work shirt” or around 4pm “What did you make me for my dinner, I need to eat before I go to work”
After a couple of months of him working, he was ready to move out on his own – so his mother would spend her lunch hour looking in the newspaper for apartment rentals for him. Her *key* requirement? The place had to have maid service or housekeeping included – because her son wouldn’t be able to keep a place clean and she didn’t want to have to go over and clean his apartment.
She and her husband worked full time, making good money, she was in her late 40s and they were constantly living paycheque to paycheque – so it’s really not like her son had good financial examples, but it took everything I had to bite my tongue sometimes.
Considering that I was just out of college and this was my first “real” job – and that I had found a place to live (with roommates) and certainly did NOT have budget to be paying for a housekeeper – I just quietly rolled my eyes at her complaints. She would not have appreciated financial advice from someone my age 🙂
if Millennials are expecting help with homebuying it’s because they were raised to expect that – either because their parents got help from *their* parents, or because they’ve been saying that’s a thing they’d help with. I knew exactly how much help my grandmother & mom were going to offer when we bought our house, because they’d told me. With grandma it was the same dollar amount as she’d given all my cousins.
And since most Boomers seem to be counting on the housing market always going up in order for them to afford to retire, it’s in their best interest to make it so some young people can manage to buy. I thought we’d learned from the crash (I sure did – we managed to hold on through it but when we unload this place I’m going to rent) but housing prices are going crazy again.
Think 77 times before you co-sign for a relatives home.
I have been on the listening end of a house that went bad story. The house was far out of state and of no possible use to the friend. When it came time to get the house transferred into the true owners name, it couldn’t be done because the true owners credit was bad. And it can to pass, as shocking as it may seem, that the true owner/relative could not make the payments. Now the house has liens for electric bills, association dues and a stupid financial disaster that the sweet relative did not tell my friend about. My friends credit is damaged and in an attempt to not have a judgment or IRS problems the friend is now paying the electric, dues and all manner of expenses trying to give the house back to the bank. It would have been better if the house was only in my friends name then there would be no surprise liens and the minute the payments were not made my friend would have been in total control.
Like drugs…just say No.
Thanks for the harrowing story. I’m saying no. My husband wants more information. We’ve tried to help with credit counseling in the past, lending them a work van for a couple of months while they were trying to get a new car (“that ain’t gonna happen” we were told). They keep increasing their consumer debt and student loan debt. We are the only “stable” family that have means to help. Other parents have bankruptcies. It’s the kids I worry about the most. They are the ones who are getting caught in the cross fire.
It sounds as though you need to distance yourself. Sadly, “more information” will likely turn out to be a lot of rationalization. Keep offering information and a sympathetic ear, but no cash. At some point they may get really sick of living behind the eight-ball and do the hard, necessary work of getting control of their finances.
Again, I wish you luck — especially as regards your husband being on the same financial page as you.
Thanks for all the great stories and advice. Love the story of Abby borrowing from herself and paying back with interest!
I guess I haven’t said “no” strongly enough in the past, because they keep coming back with a different scenario but same underlying problem: not enough money and a hatchet scheme to solve it, rather than taking ownership.
I think people will push and push because they think, “Maybe this time my plans make sense!” Or possibly they’re thinking, “Maybe this time Dad will cave!”
Put another way: I know a clinical social worker who deals with some very broke clients. Her take on it is that some people will ask and ask and ask in the hopes of getting their needs met. She also said that such people are accustomed to hearing the word “no,” and that if you don’t think you can help you shouldn’t feel bad about saying it.
Wow. I feel the only place parents help a kid with housing expenses is when the kid lives in the parents’ house. This may be contradictory in flavor but, I have once borrowed from the bank of Mom and Dad. And they appropriately charged interest. And gave me a statement everytime I made a payment. I didnt ask for the money, I asked for advice on buying my own car.
That sounds both organized and educational: Here is how borrowing money works in the real world; no way am I going to treat you any differently just because you’re my daughter.
When my own daughter was in elementary school she got interested in American Girl dolls. For a couple of Christmases/birthdays in a row she got accessories for them. At one point she was saving up to buy some more when she approached me with an idea: Could she borrow from her savings account to buy a job lot of doll stuff and pay herself back with interest?
Yep, she could. And did. It was quite a chunk of change, more than $1,000 if I’m remembering correctly. What we couldn’t have known then is that it would be a big help later. While waiting for her disability case to be heard, Abby sold off her A.G. collection. Doing so got her into a side hustle of buying dolls, fixing them up and reselling to make some extra money. Now that she’s working full-time from home she no longer does that, but it was a little extra money when she needed it (plus the diversion of rehabbing the dolls).
Jeez, if I had ever asked to borrow from my parents they would have laughed in my face. They were not good money role models, but at least they made it clear that they were not going to finance our life style (or lack thereof). It was kind of learning from a bad example, if you know what I mean.
Well, my parents wouldn’t have had any to lend so I wouldn’t have asked. But I expect they would have helped in other ways, if they felt the situation was dire — like your parents, they wouldn’t have wanted to enable an unsustainable lifestyle/poor choices.
The comments on this are getting really interesting. Keep ’em coming!
Before you get excited by commercials or advertisements that say that you can own a home for the same amount as the rent that you pay, remember additional costs of home ownership.
That’s why they call them “money pits,” right? Water in the basement, roof issues, termite infestations, appliance fails and the like can siphon huge amounts of cash.
A woman my sister knows was walloped by major repairs in their condominium building; if I recall correctly her share was $15,000. Yikes. I’d hate to be told that I suddenly needed to find 15 grand in my budget.
Thanks for reading, and for leaving a comment. See you at FinCon16.