The other night I brought home dinner from Tastee-Freez: chicken strip basket for me, bacon ranch chicken sandwich for DF and curly fries for both of us. This is not most people’s idea of fine dining, but we enjoyed it immensely.
It didn’t hurt a bit that we were both pretty ravenous, but seriously: The food there is good. They get their burger meat from a local butcher, and are “proud to use” Alaskan cod, pollock, crab and salmon.
But there’s another reason. Dipping a chicken strip into the little plastic cup of honey-mustard sauce, I suggested that the reason we were enjoying it so much is that we hardly ever do it.
Once or twice a year DF and I visit a very fine-dining establishment called Kincaid Grill; one of those dinners is an annual tradition with a couple of friends. The rest of the time, “Where shall we go for dinner?” always has the same answer: “The kitchen table.”
Not just because it’s the frugal thing to do, either. We genuinely enjoy our homemade meals. (He says it’s because they’re prepared and shared with love.) In addition, we don’t have to get dressed up nicely, or even get dressed at all; we’ve eaten quite a few meals in sweatpants and T-shirt, or even in bathrobes if it’s been a long day. We don’t have to wait for a table, examine a wine list, tip a server, or figure out which ancient grain is being sauced up and marked up.
Dining out just seems like…a lot of work. I expect I’m not the only one who feels this way, especially since people have become so accustomed to DoorDash et al. bringing them meals in takeout containers.
A recent article on Grubstreet, written by food critic Adam Platt, suggests there’s another reason. Yep, it’s the pandemic, but it’s also a question of “relevance and tone.”
“(With) people struggling all over the city and fashionable tastes veering – as they have been for years – toward three-star tacos, burgers and bowls of ramen, a fancy multi-course menu feels like the opposite of sophistication to a new generation of diners.
“‘All these places try to tell a story,’ an astute young Brooklyn gourmet told me the other day. ‘But in the end, they’re all the same. …I just feel like the world has moved on.”
Platt can sympathize. He’s feeling a bit weary of “weirdly dated, lugubriously long, outlandishly priced” menus. Recently he described attending a “jackets required” restaurant that served things like frog-leg confit and roasted pigeon breast, and feeling a bit fatigued. “It felt more like the revival of an old – and, at $185 per prepaid ticket, not inexpensive – Broadway play we’ve all seen too many times before.”
I’m feeling more grateful than ever for those curly fries. They didn’t cost anywhere close to $185.
Fine dining isn’t always fine
My friend and former editor J.D. Roth clued me in to that Grubstreet piece in a recent edition of Apex Money, the newsletter he co-authors with Jim Wang. In the e-mail, J.D. noted that he used to love dining out in fancy places. These days, he’s less and less interested. A recent dinner with his girlfriend is a good example:
“I have to tell you: We were underwhelmed. We spent $150 on two entrees and four glasses of wine. It’s not that the food was bad; it’s just that we didn’t feel like we received value for our money.
“We would have been much, much happier spending $40 or $50 to get French dips and beer at the local BBQ joint. Or even $20 for pizza and water.”
The same was true of some fancy meals he had at this year’s Financial Blogger Conference: “I found the experience miserable: long waits, extremely high prices, huge portions of greasy food. … Fine dining does seem increasingly irrelevant.”
Recently DF and I went out to dinner twice in less than a week because friends were in town. I enjoyed both outings but that was as much – maybe a little more – about the companionship as it was the plating. The food at one place (where they paid) was quite good; at the other (where we paid) it was merely serviceable. Again, it was more about visiting with friends than discovering a new favorite root vegetable.
Even so, I plan to shake things by taking DF and my friend Linda B. out to another fine dining establishment, Club Paris. It will be a meal in remembrance of my dad, who left a small bequest to each of his children. Most of my share went into savings. I spent a lot more than usual on Christmas gifts for my niece and her kids, calling it “Pop-Pop’s last gift.”
The Club Paris meal will be “Dad’s dinner.” Who knows: I might make this an annual tradition, too. But it will never be at a chain restaurant. Instead, I’ll focus on Club Paris, Kincaid Grill or some other small local restaurant where the food really is worth the trip. The rest of the time, dinner will take place in our own kitchen.
Readers: Is fine dining worth it? How often do you indulge?
I only eat out at expensive restaurants when my wife and I are on a trip or when I’m on a trip with my guy friends. I am headed to New Orleans to watch a football game in a couple of weeks with my friends and we already have reservations at two of the best restaurants in what is the best city for dining in the entire country. It will be expensive but worth it, not so much for the food but for the fellowship. Plus, we are all at the stage of life that a $200 dinner is an insignificant cost to us.
I hear you. The other night I did take DF and Linda B. to Club Paris, the best place for steaks in Anchorage. It wasn’t just that the food was good — it really, really was! — but that we were there together, three old friends talking about old times. Bonus: The check wasn’t as high as I thought it might be (hard to tell with “market prices” on the menu).
As I told DF later, the fact that we eat boiling-bag soup and soak our own dry beans means that when we do decide to go out, we can go to a really nice place. That’s my frugal mantra, after all: “I save where I can so I can spend where I want.”
Have fun on your trip, and make sure that les bon temps rouler!
Thanks! We eat very economically too most of the time. Like you we can then splurge guilt free once in awhile. Great post!
Great post/article! And I was actually able to translate that little bit of French! Thank you to all of my French teachers!
We go “high-low” when dining out. A nicer restaurant sometimes and a cheap hidden gem at other times. I’ve noticed that since we have (mostly) done takeout during the pandemic, our infrequent outdoor meals out have become a lot more special.
We splurge on “fine” dining once a year for our anniversary, and sometimes for my birthday. It’s really not that fancy but it’s white tablecloth and “best behavior, JB!!” fancy. (JB has been on all our anniversary dinners because it’s cheaper to pay for a kid’s dinner than a babysitter go figure.) We skipped last year’s of course and are figuring out what we want to do this year.
Worth it? Sometimes. Some fancy foods are incredible and I’d never venture to make it myself. But worth it enough to do more often? Meehhh no probably not.
We know people who think it’s important to do fine dining monthly and it’s no surprise at all that we don’t share the same values. We just don’t see it.
I can’t recall the last time I ate at a fancy restaurant. Not that I wouldn’t enjoy it, I’ll agree that it seems like too much effort. Lately I’ve been driving 2-3 times a month long distance to help a sick relative, over 500 miles each way, so I’ve been patronizing fast food drive thru just to fill me up. When this is over I’ll never do fast food again!
We go to local family restaurants mostly twice a week. One of the places has Trivia night and we generally place in the top three winning slots so we pay less than most for our dinners out there. Of course we tip generously.
The rest of the week we cook our own meals. I tend to have lunch out several times a week (at locally owned restaurants) because I like a good seafood meal, and my husband doesn’t enjoy the same foods. I grew up eating sub-par USDA surplus food so I will spend money for meals I enjoy. I buy my clothes at thrift stores on sale day, and take advantage of coupons and sales to be able to indulge my palate as I please. I love your motto. Those are words I live by in my retirement.
Your retirement sounds pretty swell thus far.
I don’t think it’s worth it to fine dine. We almost exclusively eat our meals at home. Part of it is our frugality, part of it is trying to eat healthy and part of it is I enjoy cooking for DH. Trust me, I’m no gourmet chef but he is always appreciative. A few times a year we’ll indulge in fast food such as Wendys or Little Caesars Pizza. I recently won a gift card to a steak house and another one to a local pizza joint so we will use them at some point. On New Years Eve we have a long standing tradition to go out to eat with the same group of friends at the same local restaurant. Always fun and the food has been good. Obviously it wouldn’t be good for the restaurants if everyone thought like me.
Sometimes I feel guilty about not supporting the local restaurant economy. But as you say, not everyone thinks like you, or me.
When I do lunches out with Linda B., it’s almost always one of three local places. Two, lately, since one of them still hasn’t reopened for anything except takeout. I’d rather they get my dollars than a chain restaurant, even if they are local franchisees. I keep thinking that locally created restaurants need our support more than a Chili’s or an Olive Garden, which will always have people who want to eat there.
Given the choice, my go to for eating out is BREAKFAST! Its not only cheaper than dinner out, but Its my favorite – so I indulge a few times a month!
For when I crave dinner out – 9 times out of 10 I will want pizza or chinese – so not really any fine dining.
And if you don’t want breakfast food, lunch is usually cheaper than dinner. In some cases you can get the same stuff you’d get in the evening.
I’m with Christine. Eating out, even when the dining is not fine, has become so expensive that it just doesn’t seem worth it to me anymore. I’m frequently disappointed by the quality of the food, and I’m always thinking about how many groceries I could have bought with what we spent on one meal. Plus, we are dealing with diabetes, which makes eating at home even more compelling.
I only eat out if I have a hankering for a food I don’t/can’t make at home. This usually means Indian food. I have tried but it never turns out that great, so now I just wait until I feel like going out and then it is off to the Indian restaurant.
We very, very seldom eat out for fine dining….less than once per year. It is never as good to me as I had hoped and I am like Laurie…I keep thinking about the groceries I could have bought. The one exception is when we are traveling. Of course, that hasn’t happened for a couple of years to any great extent. When we do travel we like to eat and experience what is specific to an area. In New England we went to a Lobster Shack. In Maryland we had crab cakes. In Alaska we went to a salmon bake. All expensive but worth it as much for the experience as the food and environment. Like Donna says,” I save where I can so I can spend where I want”. And I am willing to save so I can spend to travel. Any time, anywhere especially if it involves a National Park! And for the record up until we hit our 70s we camped which is a huge money saver when traveling!
I don’t mind a good steak being plonked down in front of me, but I have two reservations about ordering one above and beyond the price. The quality can be uneven even at your favorite place. Sometimes you’ll get one that is a bit tough or without much flavor.
But the bigger thing is I really like to bite into a blend of flavors. My sister thinks I’m nuts, but a really great hamburger with a fantastic slice of tomato, tasty bun, great sauce or mayo, beats out a steak for me. We’ll chase great hamburgers all over the county, or Chinese food or lasagna. Plus, the latter two, I never make at home.
I share the milenial fatigue with respect to restaurants. Several factors are at play: my husband will commence pre- retirement next January and his salary will be amputated by 20% and we are saving agressively for retirement. He will fully retire in 4.5 years and I am hoping we have saved enough by then so that I too can work 4 days a week when I turn 60. I have become a better and more confident cook in the past years and can often prepare the at par or better meals as served in good restaurants at this point. I suffer from celiac disease, so I cook all our meals from scratch. I constantly need to remind myself that when we do eat out, I need to focus on the fact that I am not preparing that meal, instead of focusing on the price. I too, no longer enjoy all the hassle and time required to dine out. I never thoughtbI would see that day, but it arrived a few years ago!
We seldom dine out at this house for many reasons. Hubby and I are both in our 60’s and work hard to eat a healthy diet with lean meat, fish, lots of vegetables and fresh fruit. Quite honestly we are very happy eating at home for a lot less money and the food is hot off the stove, grill or out the oven. When it’s garden season in PA we eat a ton of fresh produce at meal times and there is nothing like fresh veggies from the garden in my opinion. We also love homemade soup. I save vegetable scraps, bones from chicken and turkey, pan drippings and whatever else I have in the freezer for making soup. I always like to think my Gram is smiling down on me for being resourceful. My husband also hunts deer so we usually have lean venison too. I know we have saved a lot of money over the years by not dining out often and I don’t feel deprived at all. Love your writing Donna! It’s always a bright spot in my day when there is a new post.
Your meals sound like our meals, although we don’t eat venison. We would if either of us hunted, but neither of us wants to go to that much trouble. Of course, if things get dire then DF could take his senior citizen proxy hunting tag and give it to someone who would go get a moose and give us a hundred pounds or so of meat. And the nose, of course, so DF could make moose nose soup.
Thanks for your kind words, and for reading my site.
When we go out for a meal, I prefer to get something I can’t/won’t make at home. I love Indian food and sushi (to name a few), and if scallops are on the menu, there’s a 99% chance I’m going to order them! I would never, for example, order spaghetti or roast chicken.
Neither would I.
Fine dining for us is Waffle House. We’ve even done our Valentine’s Day celebration there several times! We both have a deep appreciation of absurdity and we enjoy the human theater of Waffle House, especially late at night. Plus, as another reader commented, breakfast is my favorite meal – and you just can’t beat a Waffle House hash brown bowl for comfort food!
I’ll have to take your word for that, as I have never been to Waffle House. It doesn’t exist where I live, or where I have lived.
And breakfast or lunch are generally cheaper meals than dinner out, so win/win.