A press release received today had this clickbaity line in the message field: “If you are not doing what you love…You are wasting your time!”
Huh.
I understand the likely intent: Be all that you can be! Reach for the stars! Follow your bliss! Yet my own inference is a little darker: If you aren’t a super self-made success in the high-profile career of your choosing, you’re kind of a loser.
Dark, I know. But I do wish that the people who define success would realize that we can’t all be startup successes or crowdfunded darlings. I wish that “success” could be redefined.
Specifically, I wish that fame and fortune weren’t the things we all apparently should want. Not only is this untrue, it’s a notion that tells a whole bunch of working-class people that they aren’t measuring up.
Not everyone wants to be rich and/or famous. Just about everyone wants to earn enough to cover the bills, have some fun, and save for both rainy days and retirement. If this can be accomplished via a job you love, so much the better.
But not everyone has that luxury. Today, on Labor Day, I would like to celebrate all those who:
Do jobs they wouldn’t necessarily have chosen, to take care of their bills and their business.
Give eight hours of work for every eight they’re paid, even if – especially if – they’re not in their dream jobs.
Find ways to give to others, even if they’re on tight margins themselves.
Save for their children’s educations (although I do hope they aren’t doing so at the exclusion of their own retirements).
Define themselves not necessarily through their job titles, but by the fact that they are doing what it takes to pay their way through life. There’s dignity in that. A lot of dignity.
Working for a living
On a recent trip to Phoenix, I chatted with a couple of guys who were fixing my daughter’s HVAC system. It was “only” 105 degrees out, and here they were crouching on roofs, moving heavy equipment, and fiddling with controls in a supremely hot and stuffy apartment.
Rather than complain about their horrible job conditions – they work outdoors in temps upwards of 117 degrees – they were friendly and pleasant, the kind of guys who stuck around to help my daughter and me move a heavy dresser topped by an even heavier television. (We had to deal with a mold issue.)
One of them even promised to sweep the sidewalk when they were through cleaning off a piece of the HVAC unit. But while he was explaining to my daughter what had been done and what still needed doing, I sneaked out and swept it myself. The crew had already stayed longer than they’d expected.
Did these fellows grow up thinking, “Boy, I hope some day I can have a job where I have to be outside in the hottest of Phoenix summers! And be exposed to mold and have to move heavy items up ladders and duckwalk across bird-poop-spattered roofs that are hot enough to soften boot soles!”
Probably not, although my guess is that they grew up thinking, “I’m going to get a good (read: decently paid) job as soon as I can.” Or maybe I’m wrong. Could be they’re secretly hoping to become rock stars or to write the Great American Novel. Maybe that’s what they do in their off-hours.
But while they were on the clock, they gave it their all – and then some. These men could have locked themselves in their air-conditioned truck while waiting for a part to arrive. Instead, they did what they could to make our lives easier. They didn’t have to; their boss pays them to work on HVAC, not to move furniture or sweep sidewalks.
In my opinion, one of the truest indicators of maturity is kindness. Not the sort of consideration you do when everyone’s watching (look at me serving Thanksgiving dinner to the homeless!), mind you. I’m talking about the fact that these hard-working young men, who do a job everyone needs but few people can handle, looked outside their own comfort and said, “How can I help?”
So on Labor Day, let’s hear it for working people who don’t have the glamorous gigs. The ones who do what they do with, if not overt cheerfulness, the basic courtesy that we, their customers, crave. Their willingness to work in jobs I don’t want to or simply can’t do (garbage collection, furnace repair, long-distance trucking) makes my life better.
Readers: Do you love your job, or simply accept it as what you need to do to pay for your life? And how are you spending Labor Day?
Related reading:
- What do we want to be? A few thoughts on labor
- Some people REALLY want to work
- Taking a (careful) leap of faith
- Let us now praise customer service
Sometimes the circumstances in your life don’t allow you to take that “dream” job. We have a child with special needs, so my husband & I worked opposite shifts in order that one of us would always be with our child. Instead of finding a job you love, sometimes you have to settle for a job you don’t hate, in order to take care of family.
Exactly my point: Sometimes you do what you must do rather than what you might otherwise have chosen. Your child is lucky to have such caring parents.
I was lucky enough to find a job I enjoy, but it was never my dream job. When the company allowed me to transfer to our retirement destination several years ahead of schedule it literally made our dreams come true. I was also pleased that my new job would include a training role which I enjoy. Had I quit the time I thought about quitting this stroke of luck wouldn’t have happened. Sometimes luck plays a part.
You know what they say: “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”
I think you landed where you wanted to be for precisely that reason. So glad to know you’re settled in, and I’m enjoying your Facebook updates.
Thanks for being such a consistent reader and commenter.
As I worked to get an education, I had jobs I certainly never aspired to or hoped to continue doing for long. However, I gave it my dead level best and was better at the job than the people who had reached their pinnacle in the job market, but doing the same job I was working to leave. Both these jobs were telemarketing. I am good at it, and it was interesting. However, I could only stand it because I knew I could do better. And, I did.
I’ve never had a job I loved, but I’ve certainly had jobs that I liked better than other jobs. Usually because the company paid me well AND treated me well. I like my current job pretty well but can’t do it indefinitely for several reasons, such as no health insurance. *sigh* But I’m not really anxious to go back to work in an office for several reasons, but I need benefits.
There was a nonfiction bestseller called “Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow.” Every time that book is mentioned, I have to roll my eyes! If everyone only did what they loved, a lot of stuff wouldn’t get done on this planet. ;o)
As for how I spent Labor Day, I worked. Got paid time-and-a-half and I’ve got Tuesday off, so I’m happy.
Time and a half is good. As for “do what you love…” — well, I roll my own eyes. Doing what you love doesn’t always bring a livable wage. In fact, sometimes it brings no wage at all if you can’t convince people that what you do is valuable.
Glad you’ve got a job you like, but I hear you on the health insurance.
My background is in early childhood education. I work for a hotel and make twice as much as I would in a classroom. Decent health insurance and a good pension plan.Some days I pray for change,but most days I’m very grateful that I have a comfortable life. I never did set out to be tich,but life is good
That’s more than enough.
It’s pretty depressing what we pay the folks who care for and teach our (allegedly) most precious possessions. Then again, child-care centers are frequented by the kids of working parents — many of whom can barely afford the cost as it is.
I didn’t set out to be rich, either. Good thing — because I became a writer.
Great article, and a point of view not often expressed. I would say the majority of jobs done are not dream jobs but jobs that are needed to keep our world going. Although my job is not a dream job I try to appreciate the good aspects as well as the benefits it provides to our family.
Thank you for celebrating me :-))) It is really consoling to get appreciation once for what I decided to do. Work I love and I’m talented in is about the arts & crafts, music, photography etc. I tried for twenty years – and I tried really hard! – to be a success in those fields. On the way I met lots of brilliant people just scraping by. The notion of the poor but exceptional artist is not romantic at all, never knowing how to pay the rent next month. I had to learn that there is no natural consequence that when you are good you will make your living. That’s a myth, I’m sad to state, fed by the few who are lucky (and I’m happy for them).
At one point I had to decide whether to stumble on or to take care of my financial situation and of my retirement… I definitely don’t want to be poor when I’m old. I have an office job now that’s boring and bare of any creativity but pays well enough. I have a perspective and some security “to pay my way through life” (love your wording), a life that is much more relaxed than before. I miss the arts and wait to resume them again in retirement (13 years still), but I’m at peace with my choice. I got nice colleagues and a lovely office, and that’s more than many have. I’m thankful for that and give to others who don’t have the opportunity to help themselves. My success will be when I’m seventy or eighty and have enough of everything I need and love. But as a decision like mine is rarely appreciated (so unromantic!), thank you again for your post!
I’m grateful for whatever job I’m able to work. We do what we need to do in order to pay the bills be it scrubbing toilets or watching students. Might not be our dream job, but it works for us. Great article, Donna. Nice of you to sweep while they were talking to your daughter.
Thanks for your kind words. Wondering if you’ve ever put yourself out there as a babysitter. Maybe what they pay in the Knoxville area isn’t huge (or maybe it is?), but it’s a good way to make a few extra dollars on a Friday or Saturday night. Or on a weekday night, if someone’s in a bowling league or a book club.
I was making $10 to $15 an hour in Seattle doing this. Parents did appreciate having an adult vs. a teenager — not because teens are untrustworthy, but because the adults have had more experience. In addition I drove myself there, didn’t turn on the TV (preferring stories and games), tidied up the place after the kids were asleep — and never called any boys. 😉
Something to think about! I have had 2 full time jobs in my life (19-53). Both have been for a small office and although the pay and benefits could not compare to a large company…the family feeling is worth it. My family always came first when it needed too! My job would come first as well sometimes when it needed too! Balance is the key to happiness. I found balance with my work while raising my family and that balance will continue until retirement.
When I worked at The Anchorage Daily News (17 years), the salary was okay. I could definitely have earned more had I sought a job in local or state government or the oil industry. But I did love writing and the job got me sent all over the place. Just as important, as you note, was the “family feeling” I got working there. We were all on the same side (the side of letting people know what was going on in their city and their state) and we believed in what we were doing.
And we were there for each other. We shared birthdays, listened to one another’s joys and fears, hung out together after-hours. When one writer was undergoing a huge amount of stress we chipped in and bought her a one-hour massage. Sometimes we even watched each other’s children, both in the newsroom (it was a pretty laid-back place; if you weren’t done with an article, you went and picked up your kid and brought him or her back with you) and outside it.
When my daughter was hospitalized for months in Seattle and I was there with her, my coworkers sent a steady stream of letters and cards. The arrival of the mail was a high point of the day for someone who was so sick, and every time I opened and read something to her (she was paralyzed and couldn’t open it herself), I silently blessed my kind and caring friends. One of them had retired early; she came down to Seattle, rented a car and took a hotel room for two weeks to make it possible for me to stay in Seattle while my daughter went through two weeks of physical therapy after being released from the hospital. I have never forgotten the immensity of that gift; my friend, meanwhile, sort of shrugs it off as “no big deal.” Um, yeah, it was a huge freakin’ deal!
For a bunch of years the women in the features department had grown-up sleepovers, gathering at someone’s home to eat, drink and be merry — and to talk, talk, talk about what was going on in our lives. This coming weekend I’ll be attending a “Women of the ADN” retreat, where a bunch of staffers and former staffers will share food and drink and try to sort out the world — around a bonfire if the weather permits, and crowded into the living room if it’s pouring. I’ve missed the last couple of get-togethers, and am looking forward to checking in with friends old and new.
The job meant something. But had the same camaraderie existed in an office, or even at the honey-bucket-emptying facility, I would have been glad to be part of it.
Thanks for sending me down memory lane.
I’ve had a job for decades now that is not my dream job, but I can work remotely and it doesn’t demand all of my energy. This was a huge benefit when we had kids and I could stay home with them most of the time and work around their schedules. It’s great now, too, because I have the flexibility to take exercise classes during the day and work on the weekends to make up time. A friend recently asked me, “What would your dream job be?” Now that I’m in my 50s, I don’t even think about that anymore. I accept that I’m doing work that I’m good at that and that I can do for the next decade until I retire. It’s enough.
“I accept that I’m doing work that I’m good at that and that I can do for the next decade until I retire. It’s enough.”
This++++.
Your comment reminds me of my daughter’s situation. Here’s an excerpt from her post, “Doing What You Love Is Overrated” (http://ipickuppennies.net/2013/10/doing-what-you-love-is-overrated/):
“I work as a customer service representative. Most people would call it a job, but I will never leave, thanks to the world’s best boss. So I consider it a career. It doesn’t give meaning to my life… but the paycheck sure does.
“I couldn’t work for years. Now, each time I get a paycheck, I’m flood with an emotion that I can only describe as equal parts pride and greed. Well, 60/40 tops.
“Maybe the ability to work — or, more realistically, the paycheck — should be a passion in and of itself. Whether due to unemployment or physical limitations, there are a lot of folks who wouldn’t care what they did, just that they could do it.
“…It’s okay to find fulfillment in something other than work. Maybe it’s more important to find it in life outside your job. Maybe it’s healthier to be able to delineate between your work and regular identities. Maybe instead of fueling our lives, our jobs could just fund them.”
A grand post. Thank you.
Thank you for celebrating me, Donna! :-))) It is really consoling to get appreciation once for what I decided to do. Work I love and I’m talented in is about the arts & crafts, music, photography etc. I tried for twenty years – and I tried really hard! – to be a success in those fields. On the way I met lots of brilliant people just scraping by. The notion of the poor but exceptional artist is not romantic at all, never knowing how to pay the rent next month. I had to learn that there is no natural consequence that when you are good you will make your living. That’s a myth, I’m sad to state, fed by the few who are lucky (and I’m happy for them).
At one point I had to decide whether to stumble on or to take care of my financial situation and of my retirement… I definitely don’t want to be poor when I’m old. I have an office job now that’s boring and bare of any creativity but pays well enough. I have a perspective and some security “to pay my way through life” (love your wording), a life that is much more relaxed than before. I miss the arts and wait to resume them again in retirement (13 years still), but I’m at peace with my choice. I got nice colleagues and a lovely office, and that’s more than many have. I’m thankful for that and give to others who don’t have the opportunity to help themselves. My success will be when I’m seventy or eighty and have enough of everything I need and love. But as a decision like mine is rarely appreciated (so unromantic!), thank you again for your post!
Thank you, for your example and perspective.
“If you are not doing what you love…You are wasting your time!”
I love people not jobs. I am not obsessed with wasting my time. I think wasting time can be very pleasant. I am more concerned with avoiding the tyranny of always being productive and on track.
That may make me sound like a slacker, but I actually want to go to work. The job I do is engaging but it is not a dream job. It pays for my food and shelter habit as well as some perks and a bit of financial security. I have great co-workers and good bosses and the days and projects are interesting but I am not in love.
Exactly right – I wish more people would think this way.
I think we may put way too much emphasis on “loving” this or “loving” that. How about being “in like” with your job? I work with fine people, the money is decent, and I’m doing something I like to do. Waste of time? No, not when I think that our only debt is our mortgage.
I’m in like with your comment. <3
When I lived in Barrow, we had a day where kids read essays they had written about their parents. One little girl got up and said her father had the most important job in town: he emptied honey buckets. By doing his job, he helped people not get sick from over flowing buckets and he helped elders who could not empty their own buckets. Whoever taught that kid about her father’s occupation did a wonderful thing, making a job considered disgusting and with little respect into something that (correctly) was essential and contributed to the health of people and the community. I never forgot that lesson about respecting people who do essential jobs we seldom even notice being done (janitors, store clerks and so on…).
That job was essential — and still is, in places in Alaska where honey buckets are still used. Thanks for sharing this story.
Honey Bucket – a toilet that does not use water and has to be emptied manually. For all us folks who had no idea what was so bad about honey:) I had to google it.
A new reporter from Outside was puzzled by a state trooper report he was told to follow up on. Seems a guy knocked over the honey bucket in somebody’s living room and refused to clean it up, and was stabbed for his recalcitrance. (Police said alcohol was a factor.)
The reporter asked another person at the paper what the big deal was, exactly, and why the heck would someone keep a bucket of honey in the living room, anyway?
Much hilarity ensued.
I do not love my job, or my career field – I didn’t choose this path, I kind of fell into it – and each time I tried to get out – there just wasn’t enough money on the “other side” to justify me leaving. Its a means to an end – a little fun money, a little to save, a little to give, an early mortgage payoff, and (hopefully) an early retirement.
I constantly tell myself, I have to go to work so I can make more fun money 🙂
Here’s hoping Hurricane Irma doesn’t mess it all up for me, or anyone else!
I hope the hurricane doesn’t tear up your neighborhood, or anyone else’s.
I’m certainly not in my dream position….I answered a job for a warehouse clerk and it’s much more labor than clerical. And I literally clear $2.12 for every 15 minutes. Not that I’m keeping track. 🙂
But it was available and part-time. My parents were getting on in years and my father passed away a couple of months ago. My mother doesn’t drive all that much anymore. I work three days a week and have two to “work” for my mother”. I also had a health pop up again and this job allows time to get the treatment I need…..not something any full-time job would allow….ever! I also punted a long-term marriage.
I am making just enough to get by though and, while my back is killing me, grateful for the time it allows me to take care of the rest of my life right now.
I’m hoping to find something different after the first of the year….hopefully clerical as in sitting down phone answering stuff. I’ll have “current” work experience with this position that should help get me there.
I don’t think there is ever a perfect job….it seems to me someone once said that they find a couple of stones in every bag of beans. 🙂
Still finding those stones, ma’am, but the beans outweigh them. Trying to focus on that — and so are you, apparently.
I wish you luck in finding more physically suited employment. As they say, you were looking for a job when you found that one. You can keep looking.
I was ready to accept my dream job, then my DH got laid off. Since he was paid a heck of a lot more than me, we moved to another state where he’d found a new job. I found another job, but it was just a paycheck. In the end it was a good thing since I was able to quit and take care of my mother and my father.
If it works, don’t fix it?
Well said, Donna! As a society, we often talk of following our passions and doing what we love, but we forget about the fulfillment to be found in loving what we do. That is, finding something we can do and do well, that will pay the bills, and that allows us the time to pursue the activities we love and finding satisfaction in it.
I’ve been a fast food worker, a convenience store clerk, a file clerk, and a data entry operator, and as a college student spent a summer each working in a newspaper bindery and an auto parts factory and worked in the cafeteria and in housekeeping during the school year. None of those were jobs I’d dreamed of doing, but I learned something from each, found satisfaction in the work, and helped meet my financial needs so that I could enjoy less lucrative pursuits such as reading, writing, and embroidery.
I wouldn’t advise anyone to stay long-term in a job they hate. But I think it’s misguided to suggest that only through pursuing our dream jobs can we find happiness and fulfillment in work. There’s a lot of middle ground between the two, and that middle ground’s not a bad place to be.
As long as your job makes you happy, helps you pay the bills and save some extra for the future – all at the same time – consider yourself one of the few lucky ones in the planet.