I’ve discovered the secret to maturity, or at least to the appearance of maturity. This wasn’t what I expected to learn at the Financial Blogger Conference.
Yesterday I had breakfast with the other FinCon14 volunteers. (Fun fact: We’re called “Finions.”) We ate at a place called Café Beignet, because while in New Orleans it’s not just a good idea to eat beignets – it’s the law.
Incidentally, let’s take a moment to call the beignet what it really is: a square funnel cake. Really delicious, but not the doughnut-y sort of pastry I’d expected. Besides, “funnel cake” is easier to say. Whenever I try to pronounce any French word I sound like an idiot.
Rather than the semi-obligatory chicory coffee, I ordered a Diet Coke. (I like my caffeine cold and fizzy. Don’t judge me.) But at Café Beignet, even the sodas come in a foam cup topped with one of those lids that has a tiny sippy hole.
While walking back to the conference I realized I looked exactly like all the other adults on the street. I was drinking coffee, or at least pretending to drink it.
I’ve got nothing against coffee as such – I simply don’t like the taste. It always disappoints me when a perfectly lovely chocolate cake ends up tainted with espresso.
(Learned my lesson, I have: When at a restaurant or bakery I always ask, “Is there any coffee in that?)
Wearing my dessert with pride
Yet because I don’t drink coffee, I somehow don’t feel like an adult. Saying “let’s meet for a soda” doesn’t sound very mature. “Let’s have coffee when I’m in town” is much more sophisticated.
Walking down Canal Street with a foam cup of could-have-been-coffee made me feel not worldly, but at least not 12 years old. For all anyone knew, I was sucking down a tall half-skinny half-one-percent extra hot split quad shot latte with whip.
On second thought, I hope no one thought that. After all, one of my favorite freelance paychecks came from suggesting several ideas to a button/magnet company. One of the slogans selected: “‘Latte’ is French for ‘you paid too much for that coffee’.”
That link notes the phrase has been cited in print since “at least 2005.” Yep. That was me, trying to make extra money while I went through my divorce. Now that I see the phrase not just on buttons and magnets but also on hoodies and coffee cups, I wish I’d kept the idea for myself and opened my own Etsy store.
Incidentally, Café Beignet has a pretty good slogan as well: “Beignet – done that!” Here’s one that would also work: “Beignets – because there isn’t a shirt in the world that won’t look prettier with a dusting of powdered sugar.”
In Philadelphia people who eat hoagies or cheesesteaks on the street hold the food out in front of them and incline their mouths forward. That way, any oil or Cheez Whiz that drips out of the sandwiches won’t land on their clothing. They refer to this as “the Philly lean.”
They just served more beignets at the FinCon happy hour and I’ve come up with a similar coping mechanism. I call it the “New Or-lean.” Laissez les bon temps rouler!
I don’t like coffee either…or hot tea for that matter. It does make it difficult when friends suggest meeting for coffee.
I’m also not a coffee fan, though I do like tea. However, I’m not always in the mood for tea. I’m glad coffee shops often sell things now like juice, smoothies, etc for those not coffee-inclined. Makes it easy to still suggest grabbing coffee with someone.
How fun, coffee or no coffee 🙂
I’m not much of a coffee drinker either, but I do appreciate a good hot chocolate with whipped cream. Maybe you can walk down the street drinking one of those in a Starbucks coffee cup and no adults will be the wiser.
I think most people in NOLA drink regular coffee (w/ chicory) and not the fancy stuff. Hope you get to Frenchman St and some of the beautiful walking neighborhoods while you’re in that great city.
Yes, beignets are required. I am gluten intolerant and signed up to feel crummy the next day. They were worth it. I will say that chicory mellows coffee. You might try a sip of the New Orlean version. Might change your opinion a bit. But, there is always tea or a water bottle even. I’m wondering if we all got weaned a little too early and need something liquid in our hands at all times to make up for it!
A friend of mine once said, “So I’m sucking heavily sweetened milky liquid through a cup with a rounded lid. No, I wasn’t weaned too early. Why do you ask?”
I love coffee, but just the regular kind. I don’t like it to get too fancy or expensive. Oh, to be drinking coffee and eating a beignet in the Big Easy. *sigh*
You need to trademark your witty quips so you can ca$h in.
Well, that one was a work-for-hire. I’ll have to come up with some new ones. What I think is that people are going to steal your stuff and use it because theyknow you’re probably not going to come after them for damages.
The only exception is content scraping. If I find my writing elsewhere, I tell them to take it down.
I love decaf. So I walk around looking like an adult. But I drink my decaf like I am actually thirsty. People make comments like “Your finished already”. Maybe those coffee drinkers are holding a coffee not really drinking a coffee.
Donna, it’s easy to pronounce beignet. Just say “Ben-Yay.” I am an agnostic: coffee or tea, high-test or unleaded, Pepsi or Coke — it’s all pretty much the same to me. I hope you had fun in NOLA!
Oh, I say it more or less correctly with this little mnemonic device: “Rhymes with ‘Ben-Gay’.” But somehow I still sound like an idiot.
Love looking like an adult–whatever I happen to put in the cup.
And not to sound like an adult snob, but latte is Italian, not French. So all those t-shirts and hoodies are giving overspending to the wrong language.
I know — it just sounded funnier if I said “French.”
Everything is funnier in French, nest paws?
Let’s have a platter of horse ovaries along with that champagne!
Afterward we can go see the matinee of “Lame is Rob”
And some horse dovies too!
I don’t drink coffee anymore. It’s either diet pop, or when it’s cold I enjoy tea or hot chocolate. I wonder what percentage of adults prefer pop to coffee?
I would guess it’s a significant number. I have always preferred tea and hot chocolate. When I was two, my mother was being visited by the minister, and I took the opportunity offered by her inattention to get in the kitchen cupboards, where I found some dark stuff, looked like chocolate, so I ate some: it was ground coffee. Ever since that early disappointment, I’ve been off coffee. The one exception: Turkish coffee. That actually tasted interesting, but it was thick and creamy, with loads of sweetening.
I thought you were particularly funny today…
I don’t like coffee, but love a good hot chocolate, and hot tea as well. I try coffee every so often just to be sure, but still don’t.
What you write always gives me a walk down memory lane, or a good laugh, or both. This time it was both! Ah, yes, the Philadelphia lean! Many a time did I walk away from Pat’s King of Steaks, doing that little move. Here in New Hampsha’ they look at me like I am crazy when I ask for a “cheese steak.” Here, they call it a steak and cheese sandwich…but We know what the real deal is, right?
I’m going to South Jersey, Philadelphia and New York City next month, to visit family and get face time with a couple of editors. At least one cheese steak will also figure in those plans.
Yo Donna! Greetings from a fellow South Jersey girl! I must offer my suggestion for the best cheesesteak in Philly…John’s Roast Pork in South Philly on Snyder off Columbus Blvd. by the river. Hands down the best. The roast pork with broccoli rabe (or spinach) and sharp provolone is just as good if not better. Boy am I hungry!
I love the smell of fresh ground coffee, but can’t stand the taste of coffee. I’ve always been a soda drinker, either Diet Pepsi or Diet Dr. Pepper. I also feel us soda drinkers get left out. For work, I have to attend trainings and they always have a mid morning coffee and tea break, but nothing for the rest of us. I’ll even be happy with a hot cocoa. Nothing. I also come prepared and bring my own. When I attend these trainings, I find a grocery store near the hotel and stock up on lunch fixings and Diet Pepsi. I save money and I get more free time at lunch.
Me too! I’ve often remarked, “If only coffee tasted as good as it smelled when it’s just been ground.” Then again, I’d probably drink way too much.
I do the grocery-store thing at conferences, too. Always scope out the nearest markets and drugstores in advance online, so I know where to walk. I’ve noticed at the last few conferences I’ve attended that soft drinks are set out during breaks (and also in the “lounge” area of FinCon) so perhaps the organizers are wising up.