Can’t anybody here play this game?

Here’s a recipe for frugal fun: Go watch some “coach-pitch” Little League. Go even if you don’t have any kids. And go to the bathroom before you leave for the game, or you will almost certainly wet yourself laughing.

Coach-pitch is like an extended bloopers reel on YouTube, minus the annoying music and captions. Think “The Keystone Kops,” only shorter, and with bats instead of billy clubs:

  • Runners piling up two or three deep on third base as coaches scream, “Go back! Go back!” and the third baseman tries to figure out which one to tag.
  • A shortstop singing a little song to herself, complete with hip-twitches, as a series of line drives sails past.
  • The right fielder and center fielder who played catch during the game.
  • A runner dashing almost off the field to avoid being tagged. A few steps more and he’d have been in the bleachers.
  • A catcher, all but blinded by an oversized protective mask, turning around and around in a futile search for a loose pitch that was practically under his instep.
  • Another catcher adjusting his protective cup. From inside his pants.
  • Outfielders waiting patiently for hits to roll all the way to them. Then again, it’s hard to show much hustle when the baseball glove is bigger than your head.

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