modern life

In hot water.

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About a week ago, DF decided that a sauna would be a lovely way to soothe the aches associated with some yard work. When he opened the door to the basement, though, he immediately sensed a disturbance in the force: Instead of dry, chilly air he got a blast of humid, warm air.

Yep: The water heater was in its death throes.

His first move was to turn off the water source to the heater. Although he didn’t say so, I expect his second move was to curse heartily and creatively. It was a Sunday evening and this was an inconvenience rather than an emergency, so he didn’t start looking for a plumber until the next day.

The actual replacement didn’t happen until midday Wednesday, after an attempt at a long-shot DIY fix suggested by his son, who’s in the plumbers and pipefitters union (and currently working out of state).

And of course we did it the frugal way: I cashed in for a $50 gift card from the MyPoints rewards program to add to about $40 worth of gift cards we already had, then DF shopped for a replacement and muscled it down the narrow cellar stairs with help from his other son. Since the plumber didn’t have to shop for and bring along the new heater, or carry away the old one (DF and his son got it into the Subaru and to the landfill the next day), it made for a much faster and cheaper fix.

In all we spent about $575 out of pocket. That sure beat the $1,600 quote DF got from the first plumber. We were pleased that it cost us so much less.

But boy, did I not like getting my hot water from the slow cooker.

 

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Things you do when you’re old.

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The other day I just did not feel like cooking, and none of the leftovers appealed to me.

So I chose my fallback: oatmeal. Then I realized that we had an entire gallon of milk – enough to cook farina and still make a batch of yogurt.

“Ooohhhh, no, not oatmeal. I’ll have Cream of Wheat,” I said eagerly.

Wonder whether anyone has ever said that exact sentence with that level of happiness? Probably not.

(It sure made my partner giggle, though.)

That phrase was just one more example of #ThingsOldPeopleDo. Yep, that’s an actual Twitter hashtag. And yep, I eat hot cereal for dinner sometimes, even if I also had it for breakfast.

But that’s not the only #oldpeoplething that I do. Here are a few other examples.

 

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#GeekyThingsAboutMe.

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I saw the #GeekyThingsAboutMe hashtag on Twitter recently and identified pretty heavily.

Not that I’m into manga or Funko Pop figurines, or that I decorate the kitchen with comic-book themes, or that I organized a party for the 50th anniversary of “Doctor Who” (complete with Dalek bread), or that I was a regional spelling bee finalist* (to name a few examples).

However, I do have some geeky/nerdy tendencies. They say the difference between a geek and a nerd is that geeks or more social and nerds tend to be more introspective.

Both groups can be a bit insufferable, due to their encyclopedic knowledge of Harry Potter/DC Comics/whatever, and due to their frequent need to share that knowledge.

I try not to be too terribly insufferable. However, when someone shares an interesting story or fact, I do often want to say, “Ooohhh, and did you also know that (related fact)?” Sometimes that engenders even more conversation. Sometimes I just get blank stares.

For example, when my daughter was buying ginger beer to make Moscow Mules for a party, I mentioned that “ginger beer” was Cockney rhyming slang for “homosexual.” Blank stares for sure that time.

 

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Back-to-school shopping: Kids under pressure.

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Who among us has ever heard – or said! – something like this during the back-to-school shopping season:

“You don’t understand, Mom/Dad – everybody is wearing/carrying [expensive item] this year! Do you want people to laugh at me?”

Back in the day, you just knew that having the right jeans would determine the course of your school year. Having a parent overrule your choices felt devastating – especially if it really did make you the target of your school’s mean girls or rude dudes.

Right now, your kid might be pleading for a new smartphone or a pair of shoes that cost more than the rent on your first apartment. Remembering our own school days is one reason that our kids have a pretty good chance of getting at least some of what they want. (More on that in a minute.)

Another reason? Social media.

Not only are young people checking out their classmates’ social media updates and haul videos, they’re exposed to “an entire army of influencers telling your child what they ‘need’ to have this year,” according to Kelsey Sheehy of the NerdWallet personal finance website.

NerdWallet recently surveyed a couple of thousand parents on the subject. Six in 10 respondents said their kids are influenced by social media; slightly more than that (67 percent) said their children’s friends were major influences.

And just over half (51 percent) of the parents caved to the pressure and splurged. I can’t blame them. Much.

Caving is potentially self-destructive, with regard to family finances, and potentially setting their kids up for Entitled Monsterhood. But it’s also understandable.

 

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Giveaway: $10 Starbucks card.

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Baby, it’s hot outside. The summer has been/is still quite brutal in many parts of the Lower 48. While I can’t change the weather, I can offer a palliative.

Could anyone use a $10 Starbucks card?

Even a non-coffee-drinking weirdo like me has to admit that Starbucks has some mighty tasty and refreshing cold beverages. I can go years without setting foot in a Starbucks shop, but when I’m on the road in the summer and positively wilting from the heat, the familiar mermaid logo is rather like a siren’s call. Come on in! We have ice! And iced drinks!

 

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Salary vs. the “right” job.

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My least-favorite job ever was working at the glass factory, right after high school. Great salary, for its time and for my age. But it was hotter than the hinges of Hades (thanks, glassmaking furnace!). Loud music (mostly country and western) blared nonstop. We stood on concrete floors throughout our eight-hour shifts.

Well, eight hours for some people. That summer I did a lot of double shifts. Here’s how my regular schedule looked:

Work from 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. for five days, then get a day off.

Go in at 3 p.m. the next day and work from 3 to 11 p.m. for five days, then get two days off.

Go in at 11 p.m. and work until 7 a.m. for the next five days, then get two days off and go in at 7 a.m. the next day.

Labor, rinse, repeat.

Except, as noted, I worked a lot of double shifts. Normally I might have grossed anywhere from $163 to $171 per week, depending on the shift. In two months of work, I grossed a little over $1,800.

 

While the job stank on ice, it was a good example of what I didn’t want to do for a living. It wasn’t that I was too good for the work, but rather that I wanted something different. Some people got married, bought homes and raised families on glass-factory salaries (which increased as you gained seniority). That was fine for them. It just wasn’t a good fit for me.

Lately I’ve been wondering whether I’d say “yes” if Company X asked me to return to the world of full-time work. After all, I’ve still got some years left before retirement and wouldn’t mind goosing my Social Security check a bit. Thus I decided that if the mythical Company X offered me a job, I might take it – provided there were an obscenely large paycheck attached to the gig.

How large? Not sure. But certainly more than the $77,000 annual salary cited in a recent study from the fintech company Self Lender.

 

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Financially dependent (adult) children.

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Feeling sentimental about your kids growing up and not needing you any longer? Take heart: They might rely on you for longer than you think (or want).

About one in three teenagers expects to remain financially dependent in some way until reaching age 30, according to a new national survey from Junior Achievement USA and Citizens Bank.

About three-quarters of them figure they’ll own a car before they hit the big 3-0. Way to keep the bar low, guys.

According to Jack Kosakowski of Junior Achievement USA, the survey results show “a disconcerting lack of confidence among teens when it comes to achieving financial goals.

“With a strong economy, you would think teens would be more optimistic,” says Kosakowski, president and CEO.

“It just demonstrates the importance of working with young people to help them better understand financial concepts and gain confidence in their ability to manage their financial futures.”

Only 44 percent say they’ll have begun saving for retirement by then, and about the same number hope to have paid off their student loans. At the same time, 60 percent of those surveyed think they’ll own homes.

There’s a disconnect there, I think, that may not be the simple optimism of youth: How do they plan to save for retirement, pay off all their student loans and still own a home?

 

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No-spend February: What have we learned?

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Really, really enjoyed the no-spend February. The month showed me that sometimes even super-frugal types are susceptible to advertising. It reminded me to keep an eye on impulse purchases. And on the bright side, it spotlighted how ingrained my careful spending habits tend to be.

I also loved the sense of community, of seeing readers encourage one another and suggest tactics to help stay on target. This has long been a sharing group; the no-spend month merely confirmed that.

It was great fun to read about everyone else’s frugal hackery, including but not limited to:

Slowing down (staycations, letting bad weather keep us indoors, craft activities, taking the time to watch TV or read free Kindle books)

Substituting (adding chopped apples to the oatmeal because the raisins are all gone; substituting not-quite-right yogurt for the sour milk in a recipe; trading a discount movie for a friend’s DVR queue)

Stretching (adding some water to full-fat milk; turning doggy bags into additional meals)

Setting things to rights (repairing a vacuum cleaner with help from a YouTube video

Sunk-cost strategies (fixing meals based the cupboard and freezer; using on-hand items to make snacks rather than buy them; bringing coffee from home vs. hitting Starbucks)

A lot of good money habits begin with the letter S.

And now that the month is over, we can all spend again! But will we?

 

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What would you pay to relive your first kiss?

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Assuming it was worth reliving, that is. For some, the first kiss is pretty dreadful.

A company called Bid On Equipment decided to survey a couple of thousand people to find out what certain once-in-a-lifetime moments would be worth to them. A few examples of average payments:

Relive the birth of first child: $100,622

Attend a Tupac Shakur concert: $4,991

Be at the “Star Wars” premiere: $11,757

Hear the Gettysburg Address: $26,896

It wasn’t clear whether we’d get to relive childbirth knowing then what we know now about things like epidurals.

 

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A few Polar Vortex essentials.

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Lately I’ve been amusing myself by searching “current temperature in Chicago (or Minneapolis, or Madison)” off and on.

Amusing to me, maybe. If the Polar Vortex made it 30 below zero outside my own window I wouldn’t be laughing at all.

That’s especially true this week, when the worst cold (as in “rhinovirus”) in living memory knocked me off my pins. Since Sunday evening I’ve mostly felt like homemade shit and, despite the relatively mild outdoor temperatures (low 30s) I’ve frequently had trouble staying warm.

That’s why I feel qualified to offer some tips on remaining at least moderately comfortable if you’re living through a cold snap (or even just a cold).

 

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