values - Surviving and Thriving

Does frugality have to hurt?

March 6, 2013 by Donna Freedman

I’ve been mulling over a comment left on yesterday’s post, “Beware false economies,” which included examples of frugality that could actually cost someone money, health or reputation. A reader posting as “ImJuniperNow” said these examples confirmed that “people believe ‘frugal’ or living within or below one’s means equals doing without.

My immediate reply: “Good point! Just as some people believe that dieting or exercise must be unpleasant if it’s to be effective.”

After some reflection I believe it’s more than the “no pain, no gain” mentality. The attitude is more one of crime and punishment:

If you gain weight, you are bad and must suffer in order to take it off.

If you don’t have enough money in this Land of Opportunity, you are less than worthy and must endure privation. That is, until you can get another line of credit.

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Beware false economies.

January 24, 2016March 4, 2013 by Donna Freedman

While preparing to write “Craziest ways to save a buck,” today’s post over at my day job, I was by turns amused and a little disturbed by what young people consider “crazy” frugality.

The post was based on a contest offered by DoSomething.org. Students 25 and under are invited to send in their wildest money-saving tips. The prize is a $4,000 scholarship, so send any students you know over there to enter.

But is getting books and CDs from the library now considered nutty behavior? What about locking up a debit card, using coupons, carrying a water bottle, eating leftovers or doing laundry at a relative’s house – any of those sound wacky to you?

Worse than that, though, were the false economies. For example, more than a few students said they brought home condiment packets and napkins from restaurants to save money. But if you’re broke, what are you doing in restaurants? How much did you spend in order to get a few cents’ worth of free taco sauce?

Or how about some of these:

Found money update: 2012.

February 28, 2013 by Donna Freedman

I’m a little late totaling up my 2012 found money. Okay, I’m several months late; normally I count the money around Thanksgiving.

Even though the money’s been counted, it’s still at my friend Linda’s house along with some other things I haven’t moved to my new place. Also still at Linda’s is the old vase in which I keep my finds, a gift from my daughter when she was very young. Abby found it in the “free” box at a yard sale. (That’s my girl!)

I’ve been using an old plastic container for all the coins I’ve picked up since Jan. 1. It doesn’t have the soul of that vase, which is actually pretty ghastly: fthe color of a Pepto Bismol tablet left out in the sun, embellished with gilt and bearing a painting of what looks like a 17th-century dude courting a 17th-century dame. But it was a gift from my kid, and I treasure it. Perhaps my descendants will take it to “Antiques Roadshow” and find out it’s worth a million bucks.

Last year’s final tally:

Six $1 bills
One 50-cent piece
15 quarters
71 dimes
22 nickels
286 pennies

I also found a single Canadian dime, which I’ll add to my stash. Who knows? I may drive the Al-Can again some day.

The fragility of dreams.

January 10, 2013 by Donna Freedman

Recently my daughter became pregnant for the third time – and for the third time, the pregnancy stopped developing. Since it did not spontaneously abort, Abby had to go in for a D&C, her second.

When people have asked how I’m doing, I’ve replied with everything but the truth.

I’m dreaming of a stripped-down Christmas.

December 10, 2012 by Donna Freedman

A single-mom blogger who goes by “Mutant Supermodel” is stressing over the holiday. She’d saved to buy gifts, but when her husband quit paying child support she had to spend every dime to keep herself and her three kids afloat.

It isn’t that MS fears there will be no Christmas. It’s that she fears she won’t be the one giving it.

“My kids are blessed with a large, loving extended family who will surely shower them with gifts the way they do at every special occasion,” she writes in a post called “$tre$$.”

“I know they don’t need or even want more stuff but I want to give it to them.”

Yet she doesn’t want to become part of the “relentless consumerism that so deeply affects this country.” Her compromise: Make some of her gifts, and limit the children’s Santa lists to that old favorite, “something I want, something I need, something to wear, something to read.”

“I think it’s better this way than a free for all,” MS concluded.

Me too – and I say that as someone who’s feeling the same contradictory clash of emotions.

How you gonna keep ’em down on the content farm?

November 23, 2012November 21, 2012 by Donna Freedman

Recently a commenter left this message:

“Donna, is it possible for you to write more thoughtful posts instead? All you are doing is writing simple posts on ways to try to make you money and giveaways.

“That’s nice and all, but the writing quality is really low. There’s not much insight or value added.”

My first response was, “Feel free to skip the stuff that doesn’t work for you.”

OK, that’s a lie. My first, visceral response was, “Feel free to kiss my ass! Even when I’m doing a quick-and-dirty piece the writing quality is higher than you’ll find just about anywhere else on the Internet.”***

My second response? She’s right. And I know it. Not about the low-quality part, but about the fact that I haven’t been doing enough substantive writing lately. That’s because the work-life balance continues to elude me.

Specifically: How do you balance work and life once you’ve gotten a glimpse of what life could be like if it didn’t have so much work in it?

What I learned from de-cluttering: The sequel.

June 9, 2015October 11, 2012 by Donna Freedman

Just before moving to Anchorage I wrote an MSN Money piece called “What I learned from de-cluttering.” But that was before I’d finished packing.

What I’ve learned since then? That I didn’t de-clutter enough.

It was shocking to see how many boxes I wound up putting in the moving van. As a result, I have half a dozen suggestions for your own future moves.

Here’s hoping these tips help you avoid merely paying lip service to de-cluttering.

Are dimes the new pennies?

October 15, 2015August 30, 2012 by Donna Freedman

To prepare for my current column at Get Rich Slowly, “25 ways to give (without breaking the bank),” I counted my found money collection. From last December through yesterday, I’ve picked up $13.24 in singles and coins.

Here’s the surprising part: $5.60 of that amount was in dimes. As many as 56 people didn’t bother picking up the 10-cent pieces they dropped. I routinely see dimes in those “need a penny, take a penny” cups at cash registers, too.

Maybe some shoppers added the dimes by mistake, and maybe those who dropped coins didn’t always realize it.

Maybe they just didn’t consider it a big deal — or maybe they were too embarrassed to pick the money back up.

A matter of timing.

April 24, 2015July 22, 2012 by Donna Freedman

The kitchen timer Mom gave me is working once more. It had met a clumsy yet oddly appropriate end about two years ago, when I knocked it off the counter and into the bucket of bleach water I was using to mop the floor.

I cried out in dismay, and later cried actual tears. Yes, it was just a timer. But it meant something to me. It was a gift from my mother, during a time when I couldn’t talk about what was going on in my life – but she knew what she saw, and she must have guessed that what she couldn’t see was much worse.

Declaring my freedom.

February 29, 2016July 5, 2012 by Donna Freedman

On Wednesday I read “A message of freedom” over at DailyWorth. It pointed out that “happy Independence Day” could also be read as “happy freedom day,” i.e., the freedom to live the way you want if you take responsibility for your finances.

“Happy freedom to dream differently, choose carefully and slow down a little right now day,” wrote site founder and CEO Amanda Steinberg.

“Declare it. What is your freedom?”

Steinberg’s statement jibed pretty well with what I’ve been mulling over for the past few days: Frugality made me independent and it keeps me that way.