Caution: Hideous neologisms ahead.

thIf you’re looking for misuse of the English language but don’t want to hang around with politicians, doctors or civil servants, consider reading press releases. My inbox is full of the things and they frequently cause rude, rude noises to come out of my mouth.

“Guestspert”? Are you (bleeping) kidding me?

Whaaat? When did “e-tailers” become a word?

“Turntabalist”? Your parents must be so proud.

Sometimes, though, neologisms have their revenge: They become so ubiquitous  that I find myself using them, either in print or aloud.

When I say things like “repurposed,” I want to smack myself. On purpose.

Or how about “I know, right?” and “going forward”? How did these get to be such earwigs?

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Let’s talk about dying.

thI picked DF up at the airport last night. He’d spent nearly a week in the Lower 48 dealing with his father’s end-of-life issues. Hospice is now involved and his dad is being made comfortable. He feels extreme weakness but no pain and is receiving oxygen as needed.

DF spent most waking hours slogging through reams of paperwork and bushels of belongings. Bank, insurance and health records were every which way. The power of attorney (written some years back) turned out to be problematic so DF had to get it rewritten, re-signed and re-notarized.

One agency wanted to know the names of all doctors his father had seen in the past two years, and guess what? Nobody knew. Heck, there wasn’t even a record of the defibrillator he’d had implanted.

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A graveyard of reading.

th-2I went dumpster wading again today at the recycling center. In the mixed paper bin I spied half a dozen like-new comic books sitting atop magazines and flattened cereal boxes.

Although melting snow was dripping down from the top of the bin, these books were dry and clean. Of course I took them, and gave them to my nephew.

He doesn’t care where I got them. In fact, he’s still stoked about the 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle I found earlier this week in the same bin.

Guess where I’m doing my Christmas shopping? (Kidding! Maybe.)

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In which I cop to some odd habits.

thJust read a lovely, raw, real piece called “Sometimes” written by a woman named Arnebya at a site called What Now And Why.

It’s lovely because it’s honest: Sometimes, I am jealous of my children. They have so much time and opportunity and I feel like I’ve wasted so much time and opportunity.

It’s raw because it’s, well, really honest: Sometimes, when I pull up to my house, I don’t want to stop; I want to keep driving.

And it’s real because she exposes herself fearlessly: Sometimes I want a drink so badly I consider leaving work early to sit in a bar alone, read my book, and catch a virus from the peanuts being eaten by many unsanitized hands.

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Giveaway: “Inspired & Unstoppable.”

bookcover-IU-tilted1Want to change careers but fear you’ve already invested “too many” years in your current one to give up?

Or needing to focus on what’s happening right now while still hoping for change?

Maybe you’re trying to follow a dream but beset by setbacks and naysayers. Or you’re either on top of the world or at the depths of despair.

If any (or all!) of this is true, you might want this week’s giveaway.

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Wedding bill blues.

thQuick question: Would you spend almost three-fourths of your annual income on one party?

Yeah, me neither. But some people will spend that much – or more – on their nuptials.While researching a wedding article for MSN Money Frugal Nation, I learned that:

  • The average wedding cost $28,427.
  • The average income for a U.S. resident is $39,959.

Do the math.

Incidentally, that average wedding price does not include the cost of a honeymoon.

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Thanks a million.

thAnother milestone: Some time between midnight and 10 a.m., Surviving and Thriving achieved its one millionth page view. I’ve been watching the site stats with great (OK, obsessive) interest, but didn’t expect to hit the seven-figure mark until the end of this week.

See what happens when you sign up for NaBloPoMo?

All kidding aside: I’m thrilled that people continue to check in. When I started the site back in May 2010, I wondered whether or not I could keep a website alive – and also whether anyone would care.

As I noted in “My first half-million,” a post about hitting the halfway-to-where-I-am-now mark:

If writers are the most insecure people on Earth, bloggers are proof that self-doubt has a sub-basement. Like the 2 a.m. disc jockey a whole lot of us wonder, “Is anyone even listening? 

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Zombie consumerism.

thLately it’s been all undead, all the time. My friend Linda B. has been recording the deeply creepy zombie series “The Walking Dead” for me, and the two of us saw the zom-rom-com film “Warm Bodies” together. Last weekend, DF and I attended opening night (and the world premiere) of “At Home With the Clarks,” described by its author as “Father Knows Best” meets “Night of the Living Dead.”

All three got me thinking about class and consumerism.

 

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The $10 wake-up call.

thEarlier today a guy knocked on the Phoenix home where my daughter and son-in-law live. He said he’d just lost his job and would be willing to do their yard for $10.

Scam, right?

Wrong. He did the work. Before getting paid for it. And no doubt he was surprised by what happened next.

“We gave him $20 because, uh, we prefer not to go to hell” is the way my daughter described it.

Apparently some of their immediate neighbors have no fear of everlasting immolation, though, because they took the guy up on his $10 offer. Which brings me to the point of this mercifully short screed:

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An anomaly worthy of praise.

I’m sitting near a blazing fire watching Chamber of Commerce snow fall. The flakes are fat and fluffy and seem to dance on their way down, the way the bits of white inside a snow globe frolic back and forth before settling.

The house is perfumed by the corned beef simmering in a Dutch oven and by a batch of kale and sausage soup (heavy on the potatoes, moderate on the garlic and with a judicious amount of Frank’s Red Hot pepper sauce). If I concentrated, I could probably scent the last of the homemade yogurt that I drained through a cloth-lined colander a little while ago.

But the dominant fragrance is of freshly washed laundry hung on racks set up between me and the fireplace insert, which is cranking out so much heat that the clothes and towels may be dry before I finish writing this.

Domestic contentment – made even more delightful by the fact that it is shared domesticity. When DF got home from church (he’s the cantor for 8 a.m. Mass) he dove right into chores: two loads of laundry, putting the corned beef on to cook, cleaning the tub, general tidying. I can track his progress by the whistling or occasional scraps of song he emits while moving from job to job.

Where was I? Cutting up soup ingredients, placing some vegetable scraps into the freezer for making stock later on and relegating others to the compost, putting the yogurt into a container and storing the whey in a jar. Oh, and smiling. Smiling.

I love a man who whistles while he works. And I especially love a man who doesn’t regard the domestic arena as expressly female.

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