Earlier today a guy knocked on the Phoenix home where my daughter and son-in-law live. He said he’d just lost his job and would be willing to do their yard for $10.
Scam, right?
Wrong. He did the work. Before getting paid for it. And no doubt he was surprised by what happened next.
“We gave him $20 because, uh, we prefer not to go to hell” is the way my daughter described it.
Apparently some of their immediate neighbors have no fear of everlasting immolation, though, because they took the guy up on his $10 offer. Which brings me to the point of this mercifully short screed:
Think you’ve got it bad? You probably don’t.
I was having a bad day today when I read Abby’s words on Facebook. This evening? Still not great. But at least I’m not going from door to door in about-to-be-furnacey Phoenix, offering to pull weeds for what probably amounts to less than minimum wage per yard.
The need to hang in there
Or maybe you really do have it bad. Maybe you’re sitting on your last dollar watching past-due bills slip through the mail slot in your front door. If so, hang in there. Things may yet change in ways you literally could not imagine.
It wasn’t that long ago that Abby was surviving, sort of, on food stamps and something called General Assistance to the Unemployable — a $400 monthly check given by the state of Washington to people who can’t work. Her rent was then $525 a month.
Eventually her disability case was approved — sort of a bad news/worse news situation. Congratulations! You no longer have to struggle on GAU because…you’re disabled. It was enough to survive on and she was grateful not to be homeless, but she couldn’t shake a sense of despair. Would she ever find a job? Was she facing decades and decades on the dole?
Fast-forward five years: She not only found a job, she found the perfect boss. He lets her build her work schedule around her health issues. He gave her extra time off after her miscarriages. He has given her regular raises and even Christmas bonuses. (I don’t know another person who has gotten bonuses in the last few years.)
Right now her husband isn’t working due to his own health issues and they’ve struggled with medical debt. After a careless driver totaled their car and the insurance settlement wasn’t enough to pay for a replacement vehicle, they had to partially finance a car (a used one, which is curretly having a midlife crisis). A couple of years ago they took in his parents, who are facing bankruptcy.
I wouldn’t have blamed them if they’d said, “No thanks” when the guy knocked. Instead, they not only gave him some work but paid him more than he asked. Their bank account isn’t big, but their hearts are huge.
And my problems are small.
I loved your daughter’s response. I sincerely hope I’d do the same as I think I would. Yep, life is good and I’ll stop whining for a little while…
Awe … looks like someone raised their daughter right. I know you are proud of her ‘smarts’, but how sweet that she has such tender, and ‘do the right thing side’ as well.
I hope your day gets better.
It’s on its way to getting better: I have a prepaid massage waiting for me at 10 a.m.
I need to bookmark this article so I can read it any time I feel like my day is going badly. Your daughter is awesome.
I concur. 😉
Donna….obviously you raised her right! What a kind thing to do. But look at this guy, who doesn’t fit the “lazy” unemployed format so many imagine. He gets out of bed and actually goes and looks for work…any work…and delivers. Pretty cool from where I’m sitting. Your DD gets a “spiffy yard”….the guy get’s $10…a $10 tip…AND a boost to his self-esteem and confidence. DD “not going to hell”…well that’s just a bonus!
No matter how bad we think things are for us personally, there is always someone who has it much much worse. Your daughter sounds like a gem…
Your daughter has the right attitude! I agree that you raised her right. Recently I hired a pair of housecleaners who come once a month and do a great job. I need them desperately while I recover from knee surgery. I tip them $20 more than their outragesously low prices for the same reason. They get to make some money – I get a clean home without going to Hell. I also tip them with copious amounts of unexpired coupon inserts I get from various sources….
I went to a yard sale and wanted a gorgeous antique lamp I saw from the road. This woman lived in a trailer alongside the highway, about 20 feet below the level of roadway. She was poor, desperately poor. The lamp was actually in poor condition compared to its glory days. The woman wanted $2. She would have taken $1 if I had dickered with her and earned a ticket to Hell. Yep, my thought! However, I did not have the heart to push her further down. I gave her $5.
About twenty years later, I was underemployed and altered something for an Alabama friend. She had bought the garment at Filene’s and needed it for her son’s wedding in NYC. I spent hours handsewing on the garment shoulders and charged her $10. As we chatted, she pressed a folded bill in my hand. Later, I opened my hand to find a $20. The job was well worth the time I spent and the expertise I brought to the task. Actually, the transformation was worth more if she paid me by the hour. While I was annoyed, I did appreciate the kindness, even if it embarrassed me.
I’ve been reading your blog for a long time Donna and I am thrilled to hear things are going so well for your daughter!
I have a tremendous amount of respect for this guy that was going door to door. He is out there hustling, honorably finding work to make ends meet. Would I want to do that-no. But I would if I were in a tight spot.
Early one (very hot) night I was riding a quad next to the river by my house. I was startled when I saw a person in the river. It was a woman who was pulling copper wire off the banks of the river. Presumably, she was going to recycle it for money. While I can admire her effort, it made me think twice about complaining about my job in an air conditioned building. It is amazing to me how resourceful people get when money gets tight.
Donna :
Obviously you raised her right, she not only paid him more but also helped him keep some dignity!
I hope everything goes well in their lives and the parents in law too!
Take care, this is a good reminder that no matter how hard we think it is , it’s always so much tougher for other people!
May God bless our country and help us all.
This made me smile today. Thanks for that!
Well done Abby! I imagine she always does the good and the right thing like her mother. I know a woman living in Madrid(Spain) where the economy is terrible, who cleans, cooks and keeps house for a wealthy lawyer. In return he pays her well below the minimum wage and makes her work long hours with one day off a week and litttle or no holidays. He has her over a barrel as she has no family and would find it impossible to get work elsewhere. She is also afraid to report him to the relevant authorities for the same reasons. Therefore it is so heartwarming to hear about Abby who gives so generously although she has so little.
Your such a great writer. I will always be a reader:)
Aw, thanks.
What an amazing story! It touched my heart.
What a perfect time for this story. it pleases my heart for several reasons, the most being –
Our Town paper ran an article last week about how the volunteer first aid squad needs donations and members.
This week, there is a letter to the Editor from a resident stating that he NEVER gives money for services he doesn’t use, so why should he give a donation to them and why doesn’t the Town get a paid service?
I tried to write a comment about him on the Town’s Web Forum, but apparently you can’t write “a$$” on it.
Maybe I can get your daughter to call “Steve” and set him straight about giving and getting.
Well, perhaps Steve will fall down and hurt himself in a public place and the volunteer squad will help him no matter what. Crow tastes great cold.
Perspective is such an important thing, and one that we so often lose in the face of our personal woes. While I am quick to whine about my financial state, I do try to keep in mind that my parents reared their children, bought a home and had a satisfying retirement on far less than I make. Naturally, they didn’t have my expenses, but truth to tell, I shouldn’t have my expenses! Thanks for the reminder that it could definitely be worse, and also thanks for rearing a child who refuses to take advantage of another’s misfortune just to be frugal.
People who have been through hard times (or are still in them) sometimes are more generous than those of us who’ve always had plenty to spare. Good for her!
love this story… pay it forward.. Or. give and it shall be given to you..
If you have it and you can spare it, give it. That’s my philosophy, anyway.
So I’m about a year late getting read this one… how the heck did I miss it first time around?!? Anyway, as usual I’ve taken something away with me. I so enjoy your posts and musings. Don’t ever stop writing please.
Thanks, Lynn, for your kind words.