A while back my cousin found out he’d accidentally encouraged someone. While he was on his daily walk, a car pulled up and its driver called out to him. Seems she and her daughter had seen him taking long strolls in the hot Utah weather.
“You inspired me to get out and walk. I’ve lost 10 pounds since February, just walking,” she concluded.
My cousin posted this encounter on social media, concluding with, “Sometimes we are unaware of the impact we have on others.”
A longtime reader, whom I’ll call V, recently reminded me that my long-ago MSN Money Smart Spending posts inspired her to pay off a ton of consumer debt. Soon after the debt was gone, V’s husband was killed in a traffic accident. Because she was otherwise debt-free, she was able to handle the mortgage on her own.
“You gave me the tools and support when no one else was there,” she says.
I pointed out that she was the one who did all the work. But I did cherish the gig of frugal role model for MSN Money. Even though I now work on my own, I still love sharing ways to get the most bang for your buck.
Judging from the comments you leave, a lot of my readers are not only frugal, but also love sharing frugal hacks. I encourage you to keep doing that. Money-saving knowledge is needed more every day in this country.
During the pandemic lots of folks cut way back on spending. Living on less was essential if you’d been laid off or had your small business hammered by lockdown. It reminded me of the recession, when people were floundering and desperate for info on how to pay their bills.
Enter personal finance blogs, which told readers how to fix cheaper meals, use coupons and take other steps to keep costs low. People couldn’t get enough of this advice until things eased up a bit – at which point some couldn’t wait to get back to business as usual. They jettisoned frugality, deciding it was no longer necessary because the good times were back.
It might be different this time around. Renting or buying a place to live is scary-expensive, unemployment still high and food costs troubling. Getting ahead is tough for some consumers and well-nigh impossible for others.
Frugal role modeling by example
This is where you come in. To paraphrase a quote attributed* to Gandhi, why not be the frugality you wish to see in the world? Teach smarter money choices and clever frugal hacks by example, and when asked, be ready to share that knowledge.
To be clear: This does not mean you should proselytize, nag, lecture, criticize or condemn. It means to teach by example. Any time someone’s curious about how you were able to buy a car for cash, save a robust emergency fund, stay out of debt each holiday or max out your retirement contribution at work, tell them.
- You were able to buy a car with cash because you kept the old one for 12 years, putting your monthly “car payment” into savings once the vehicle was paid in full. (My daughter does this.)
- You saved that EF and continue to put away money for retirement by following a reasonable budget that protects your future while still letting you have fun.
- You stay out of debt each holiday by using a variety of careful shopping hacks.
Not everyone is ready to hear this, which is why proselytizing is not a good idea. But when some people are ready to make a change, they might come to you for advice. (Or they might just eavesdrop on your lunchroom conversation with someone else.)
When friends or relatives talk about rising prices, ask about the ways they’re coping. Their answers might surprise you, i.e., they might also be closet penny-pinchers. Or they may reply, “We have no idea where to start.” This is your cue to say stuff like:
“There’s a book/blog/podcast that’s really helped me, and I’d be happy to send you the info.”
“I use a few rewards programs and apps and it’s amazing how they help keep costs down. I even get free stuff this way.”
“Last year we learned about something called Buy Nothing Facebook groups. We were able to get a bunch of summer clothes for the kids plus a winter coat for partner and a box of books for me. It’s been a huge savings for us.”
“Remember how Mom always used to make jam and freeze veggies? Husband and I are getting into that. Nothing as major as what Mom did, but it’s the difference in our food bill is noticeable – to say nothing of how good it all tastes.”
They might take you up on this stuff. Or they might not be ready. But if/when they are, you’ll be there to pass along what you know. No judgment, just encouragement.
Okay, readers, let’s hear some of your success stories: How has your being a frugal role model helped relatives, friends, co-workers or others?
*Although he said some profound stuff, Gandhi probably didn’t say that one.
Related reading:
- What I don’t spend money on
- Cheryl paid off her mortgage
- What to do with “extra” money
- Challenge yourself to save (free PDF)
I’ve sat down with many young people and figured out budgets. I always encourage the following:
No car payments (drive what you can afford to pay cash for, upgrading
when you are able)
Paying off the mortgage with an extra $100 per month
Staying out of credit card debt (only charging what you can afford to pay
off every month or better yet, do not use it except for emergencies)
Cooking at home (no stopping at fast food places on the way home)
Emphasizing you are not what you wear (keep yourself well-groomed
and you will be fine)
Don’t go shopping for fun! Ever!!
I’m not real big on cutting cable…one has to have a little sin in life.
There are lots more tips, but you get the picture. The biggest tip I have is that you need to marry the right person because he/she will either complement you or break you. Divorce/debt can be your downfall.
Amen sister, on marrying the right person. It’s the biggest thing in your life.
This is the greatest advice….Marry The Right Person!
If you look up spendthrift in the dictionary you may see my ex’s picture. But it’s all water (and money) under the bridge. I got it right the second time and have the perfect partner in frugality. Lucky, lucky me.
Right after I divorced in 1981, I took a class at a junior college just to have something to do. I rode the school bus they had for students. My tuition was paid by a local factory.
As we ate one day, I was talking to a group of young women about how I used coupons. One woman in particular was very interested. Of course, after the class we all went out own ways.
Thirty years later I was in Walmart when a woman approached me and asked if I had gone to this class and gave more information. This was the same young woman, much older now, that I had shown how to use coupons. She said that coupons had made her life easier as she went to nursing school and had children.
She said she taught her daughter to use coupons and she was much better at it.
This turned out well for me as she would give me a 3″ stack or larger of newspaper inserts. I loved that and used them. I would have never guessed when I was talking to the young woman that she would be an avid couponer, frugal, AND remember me.
This was so relevant to me! I was at a friends for dinner the other night and we were talking about how we save money (they follow all my thrifty tips! the wife actually waits for me to do it, then she does it after I have success!) She was pleased to have over $200 in her Ibotta account, she saves it up all year and uses is at Christmas. We were discussing how food prices are rising – she mentioned bread going up , and her husband eats sandwiches a lot…I reminded them that I go to a certain dollar store every Saturday morning when they open — as that is when the BREAD TRUCK arrives, and stacks a shelf full of brand name breads, bagels, donuts, coffee cakes, english muffins — all for ONE DOLLAR EACH. (think Pepperidge Farm, Thomas’, Entenmann’s) most are not even past their “sell by” date. She is now excited to tag along next time I go 🙂
Although I have bought bread and bread products at the dollar store in the past, I’m going to ask at the Dollar Tree in my town when they get bread deliveries. I’ve never had an issue with the bread or other products but the fresher the better. Thanks for the tip. P.S. My husband is a sandwich fan too.
And don’t forget bakery outlets. Links to finding outlets in your area in this piece:
https://donnafreedman.com/12-ways-save-money-groceries/
Thanks for the reminder. Checking it out now.
If anyone freezes loaves of bread to keep ’em fresh, be sure you know how to properly thaw the loaf. Make sure you do not open the package because that will make the bread too hard. I’m told ice crystals evaporate if you open the bread bag; they need to be re-absorbed by the bread in order for it to stay soft. Also if you are going to keep bread in the freezer for a long time, double or triple bagging it will cut down on having too many ice crystals.
I always tell people budgets and frugality aren’t punishment; it’s a game to see how much quality can be obtained with the least amount of money. We don’t do without, our lives are plentiful and fun. We went from small kids and an average budget to teenagers and a six figure income…… and we kept the frugal habits! Why change what’s working?
Yes indeed! If it works, don’t fix it.
A bit off topic but are your MSN articles still available somewhere? They were so full of information and motivation it would be great to scan them again!
No, I’m afraid they all disappeared when MSN Money switched platforms. My own archives here on the site feature a lot of similar topics, though. Thanks for your interest!
Phooey hooey. I always loved those MSN columns. They should keep them online forever!
My “wake up call” was when my mom died unexpectedly and left my dad with over $50,000 in credit card debt. I’ve been paying off my credit cards and working on saving what I can. I also am following I Pick Up Pennies’s lead of putting my car payment into a savings account for when my car dies (I paid it off last year, it’s a 2012 with 86,000 miles. I’m hoping it’ll run another 86,000 miles). Thank you for all your articles and blog posts over the years!
That is one sobering wakeup call, all right.
Pretty sure you already were aware of this, but…Abby from I Pick Up Pennies is my daughter. I think her car is around the same age as yours and she, too, is hoping for a long-lived vehicle.
Thanks for reading, and for leaving a comment.
I’m also putting my car payment amount into a new (er to me) car savings account. My car is a 2011 and has 168,000 miles on it. I bought it with 98,000 miles and a 100,000 mile warranty, which I promptly used one week later.
I also have a separate car repair fund for the current car, to cover both expected and unexpected repair/replace parts needs. Mine has a design flaw, which causes the headlights to blow every 3 months, and the entire front end must be accessed to replace the bulbs, which entails a large labor bill. Of course they do not both die at the same time….
The repair/replace fund might also cover new tires, new sensors, oil and filter changes, etc. My husband can no longer work on our cars due to un-fixable back problems and I have problems with my hands.. Our mechanic alerts me to upcoming problems, so I know when to try to increase the funds in the account.
I put the cost of the repairs on my points credit card, and then immediately transfer the money from the car repair fund to make an immediate payment to the credit card to avoid interest charges. I make credit card payments every Friday, so I don’t forget a payment and trigger interest charges.
My daughter is much better at accessing rewards and getting free stuff than I am.
When I started following your MSN blog I was in a bad way. Car payment, kid in college, boss threatening to let me go. After following your lead I started using coupon at drug stores and grocery stores. After a short time I was able to pay off my car and pay off my installment credit. Thankfully I was able to transfer twice within my company and retire from my job with a small pension. I have at least one family member whose life changed by becoming
a smart shopper. I give you a lot of credit for pointing me in the right direction. You were my frugal role model an I enjoy doing that for others to sort of pay it forward.
Again: You did the work. Just happy to have been able to point you in that direction. Sounds like you’re the frugal role model now.
Thanks for being such a consistent reader and commenter.
I run with a group of guys and gals at 5:30 in the mornings. Well, I’m walking right now as I recover from an operation. But I still get to socialize with them before and after the run. All but one of them are multimillionaires, and that one is going to be very wealthy, she is just young and hasn’t had the time to accumulate that much yet. Anyway, me and one of the guys, he owns his own family oil business and is quite wealthy, were talking about his car, a 2004 Toyota 4Runner with 240,000 miles on it. I was comparing it to my 2011 4Runner with 179,000 miles on it. He was talking about what a great deal he got when he bought it used. This is a guy who could afford a fleet of Lambo’s if he wanted and I could certainly afford one or two myself. But the thing is, even with some wealth it pays to stay frugal and not overspend on things that aren’t priorities. Those habits last a lifetime. Our old Toyotas run just fine. I appreciate your philosophy and teaching to others. Frugality pays off, and it also keeps your mind in a better place. When you don’t focus on material things you can turn your mind to something that really matters, your relationships and serving others.
Ding ding ding! We have a winner!
Thanks, Steve.
Pretty sure you were the first person I read or heard who talked about paying off your debts, and also the importance of having an emergency fund. Thank you!
The other was Patricia Heaton (?) on Everybody Loves Raymond (a show I rarely watched). She talked about paying down your household debts, as part of your regular household bill payment and budgeting process. This was different than just making the minimum monthly payment, which I don’t think I had heard before. I watched the episode again in reruns.
I then contrived to make my minimum required monthly payment plus the accrued interest, as my monthly payment whenever possible. Seeing those balances drop on a regular basis was such a relief, and the end was in sight!
I then transferred balances to lower interest or zero interest credit cards or loans, so that more of the payments went to principal than to interest. As of today, and several years ago, debt free.
I am not sure we’ve influenced that many people over the years, but we’ve just kept plugging away at all the things that work. Most of those are little things woven into the fabric of our lives and not remarkable to us, but it’s the difference between having a cushion or landing on rock-hard ground.
A friend and I bumped into each other in a discount store one day years ago. She was in the midst of building a new home and had popped in to buy toilet paper. She wasn’t familiar with the store and asked me where it was. I pointed down an aisle and said, “There’s Charmin and Angel Soft down there, and the store brand is up there. It’s good and way less expensive.” She headed off, saying, “I have to have name brand.” Just seconds before, she’d been lamenting that she wasn’t sure how they were going to afford the mortgage when they finished the house. Now, if you make enough decisions every month that save you $4 per decision, the house payment is not a problem. Toilet paper is one of those decisions. I still wonder if she figured that out.
I have lived in three paid-for houses and another one almost paid-for when I sold it. Except for the one that was inherited, here’s how I paid ’em off: I budgeted my highest bill (electricity) based on the highest months. In summer, the power bill was sky high due to AC (I live where the afternoons are 100 degrees F.) So I budgeted based on the July-Aug.-Sept. bills. In other months, when the bill was lower, sometimes much lower, I put the difference between the budgeted amount and the actual bill on the mortgage as extra principle. (I also don’t have any unnecessary expenses such as cable TV, and I always do all the other frugal stuff you advocate.) Of course, I had a mortgage with no prepayment penalties (very important!), and after the first house, just got 15-yr mortgages. When I refied to a lower interest rate, I did not set the “clock” back to 15 years but just got the mortgage term to be the remaining years of my original mortgage (8 years vs. 15). Any windfalls such as wining a cash contest, getting a bonus at work, or proceeds from garage sales, went into that mortgage. When I found a long-forgotten investment account was twice the amount of my remaining mortgage loan, I withdrew the money and paid off that sucker! Sure is nice not to have a monthly payment (except for putting 1/12 of my property tax amount in a savings account.) To paraphrase an old credit card commercial, the feeling of relief when you own your home free and clear: PRICELESS!
Applauding.