We’re in the midst of one of those awful winter thaws, with temperatures in the low to mid-30s and even some rain at times. Blech. I hate these things because of how slippery the roads and sidewalks get. Thank goodness for my Icebugs; haven’t had a fall yet despite surfaces that my late dad inelegantly described as “slicker than snot on a doorknob.” (As an Amazon affiliate, I may receive a small fee for items bought through my links.)
Lousy weather + seasonal affective disorder are probably two of the reasons why I haven’t set up my small tree. It just doesn’t feel like Christmas this year. Yet gray skies aren’t totally to blame: Post-election anxiety has been kicking my butt.
How in the world did this guy get elected again? Every time he opens his mouth, I flinch and wonder what fresh hell will emerge. Don’t get me started on the folks who work with him.
I may lose readers for making these statements. But it’s how I feel about this con man.
Back to Christmas, though: DF has been practicing holiday carols on the piano, to prepare for an extended family get-together. Hearing songs like “The First Noel,” “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” and “Bring a Torch, Jeanette, Isabella” do make me smile.
So does wrapping gifts for Linda B. and my niece and her kids. I do love giving presents.
As usual, I have kept costs to almost nothing due to a combination of frugal hacks:
- Using points from rewards programs, especially when I redeem points for a gift card to pay for the item, and then earn points for buying it (to learn more about this retail sorcery, see “Rewards programs FTW!”)
- Judicious re-gifting
- Picking up presents for free from our Buy Nothing chapter
- Finding gift-able items at FinCon (such as this year’s $10 Target gift card)
I’ve always liked to avoid overpaying for the holidays. This year it’s even more important, because I have purposely sought fewer paying gigs and will continue to do so. Since I am waiting until age 70 to take Social Security, choosing to freelance less means I will be earning less. Probably a lot less.
Christmas in the time of layoffs
At least I am able to choose to do this. A bunch of writers I know were hit hard by Google’s recent crackdown on what it calls “site reputation abuse.” Anchor clients like Forbes, CNN, The Wall Street Journal and Fortune dropped freelancers overnight. Bonus: Right before the holidays!
Since I’m older than most of the freelancers I know, this hasn’t hit me as hard. It’s okay if my clients show me the door because I was moving toward it anyway. But writers in their 20s, 30s and 40s are feeling shell-shocked.
One of the busiest freelancers I know said she lost all her big clients. Another said her income was “significantly” slashed. I know the two of them will manage, but other freelancers won’t. Feeling especially bad for the younger writers who are still establishing themselves: They had work, and suddenly there was no work to be had.
Younger freelancers face things like student loans, mortgages and child care costs. Being old means I’m much better positioned. As the country song says, I have everything I need and nothing that I don’t. I’m not wondering how I’ll be able to afford basic necessities, let alone meet long-term financial goals.
Boy, this post is all over the map. Sorry about that. Maybe I should be sitting a little closer to that S.A.D. light.
Small holiday pleasures
That holiday get-together is tomorrow. The carol singing and the sight of young kids in their Christmas apparel will cheer me up. The food will be a boost, too; we both love it when other people cook for us.
On Christmas Day, I will head to my niece’s to watch her kids open their gifts. Although they are now legal adults, I still get a charge out of watching them react: They are touchingly grateful even for the smallest items. Heck, one year their mom gave them velour-like blankets for TV watching (spending only $7.98 total because it was Black Friday) and they were delighted. Alaska is a drafty place.
I will open my own gift from Linda B., and the homemade peanut brittle and jam that my sister sent. DF and I will enjoy a sumptuous dinner of prime rib, bought at a deep discount and smoked on the Weber. We’ll listen to holiday music on the classical station, looking up from our books occasionally to smile at each other, and go to bed on time. These simple pleasures are deeply fulfilling because we know how lucky we are.
Merry Christmas to those who celebrate. What’s on deck for you, dear readers?
I am hopeful I had a win with the elimination of the WEP on my Social Security. I am a federal retiree so have not been able to collect the full amount on what I paid in on high school, college and part time jobs in retirement. Need the President to sign it. It’s retroactive so I should receive 2 years of what I didn’t receive.
I am not looking forward to 2025 for the same reason as you. I no longer watch national news. It gives me major heartburn to think about what might happen.
We’re in the same situation — Husband put in about two years less of ‘regular’ employment — so we got socked with the ‘Windfall Elimination,’ too. The Fairness bill for Social Security passed in the House — fingers crossed it will pass in the Senate, too! Please note, Linda and everyone else — write your Senators and urge them to pass this.
Donna, I’m not insulted re your comments about Trump — but there wasn’t much else to choose from. I don’t trust Ms. Kamala as far as I can spit, and President Biden is noncompos mentis. Trump at least takes action and keeps some promises.
We are lucky to have both sets of kids coming to spend Christmas — though a few days apart. Unfortunately, someone at church Sunday decided to spread some flu around… and we’re fighting it.
P.S. Donna, my latest check of the change machine at City Market produced 81 cents, plus a peso coin and 50 centavos!!!
I feel for you and the holiday/what holiday feelings this year. My Dad died on 12/21 15 years ago and I still get depressed in December. Add in the election and I haven’t felt this bad since December 2016! Glad you are finding the joy — I am working to the same. We had a family celebration a week ago and will have one son and sister here tomorrow. So we will all carry on!
I have the same feelings about the election:-(. Trying to focus on good friends and family and being charitable. Hope things will be looking up for you!
I agree with you 100%. My town is probably 99% Repubs. All the people that come to our house will start spouting off how good they had it under him. I can’t think of one thing he did for me. He is a racist, a narcissist, cares only for himself and the rich cronies. He worships Putin and Kim and wants to be a dictator and follow in their footsteps. He is dishonest to boot. We don’t want to get in a fight with our friends and neighbors, some of which start to get a little radical after awhile so we just keep our mouths closed and bite our tongues, but man, is it hard! Thanks so much for letting me speak my mind! I too hate to watch the news and am dreading another 4 years of this egotistical maniac-maybe more, as BEFORE, he said maybe he will get them to change the law and run another term. He hasn’t said anything lately.
Hope you and your honey do have a good Christmas with friends and family!
Post-election doldrums: very real for me. I took out a separate credit card so I could donate as much as possible to the Good Guys (the relatively good Good Guys). Social Security (which I’ve been on for about 15 years) is not enough, so why the heck was I donating as if I were Lady Bountiful? And posting as if I were a speechwriter for the Dems. I am burned out, and I know it will pass. But in the meantime: good sleep, exercise, and nutrition. But that’s not why I’m writing.
About site reputation abuse: It reminds me of when one leftist group would organize an event, create the flyer, make the contacts, do the hard work of getting people there … and leftists from another group would show up selling their newspaper outside the event. They had done none of the hard work of getting people there, but they saw it as an opportunity to sell their newspaper.
Granted, neither group had anywhere near the resources necessary to throw an event and build for it; neither had the wherewithal of a huge corporation or international conglomerate. But the comparison is, I think, apt.
I think that self-care is a form of resistance. Thus my plan is to take better care of myself and focus on things I can change. Chief among them is to help those who are struggling, whether that’s because of the political scene or other issues. For example, today I picked up some dog food being given away on our Buy Nothing page and delivered it to a woman whose husband is in hospice care; she doesn’t want to leave his side. I have learned of a food bank near our home that needs volunteers. And then of course there’s the ongoing grocery ministry:
https://donnafreedman.com/senior-tuesday-takedown/
Thanks for reading, and for leaving a comment.
Donna, I had never heard the carol “Bring a Torch…” but I looked it up and heard it for the first time tonight. Thank you for sharing! It is a beautiful song, and being home from work and trying to relax, it was just so amazing for Christmas Eve, esp. as I am alone.
“Good sleep, exercise and nutrition.”
I think that self-care is a form of resistance.
I think I’m going to steal this! And also practice it.
I hope so! The practicing part, I mean.
Nice quiet Christmas here. Both daughters will be with their in laws. We will celebrate with them in January. Church Christmas Eve and maybe Waffle House on Christmas Day It will be restful.
I could not agree more with your political feelings!! In fact, i think you showed remarkable restraint.I just totally do NOT understand it. Every time he says or does something I think it cannot POSSIBLY get any worse and yet it does. It is absolutely terrifying to think of the people who will be making decisions for our country. I better stop before my blood pressure goes up!
But I do wish you and your a very Merry Christmas and New Year! Ann J
It’s your blog, and you can write whatever you want! I think all politicians are worthless and that the majority are crooks. There I said it and I don’t regret a thing!
Glad to hear from you 😊.
Our Christmas is a little muted here also. No decorations up, but did get cards out this year. Lots of health issues between the two of us the past 18 months. Glad I took my social security at 62. Freezing cold and an ice storm tomorrow. Missed church yesterday and the Carol Sing last might. We will likely have a low key Christmas dinner with friends.
Don’t understand the Trump worship either. Can’t discuss with family, friends or neighbors. Afraid of what is to come.
I’m choosing to concentrate on sane family members and some friends, and putting forth good things and thoughts into the universe. I refuse to participate in the hate, and the acceptance of it.
Happy and safe holidays to you and yours.
Donna-I so agree with your political take on things. I have no idea how something like this could happen again. A Felon is going to be running our country? I don’t let it consume me, but I think we are all going to have to be more careful in what we say and with our money. The food supply may get iffy, as it did after the slow response to the Pandemic. I am keeping a nice stash in the pantry. I wonder about the food this country will grow after the mass deportation. Who will work the farms? And the Tariffs will make everything more expensive and create a retaliation from the countries they are imposed on. This is Christmas Eve. So I will attend my church’s service and listen to some great music. Merry Christmas to All of you.
I struggle more every year with celebrating Christmas. There seems to me a big disconnect between what it should be and what it is. It starts way too early and is over almost before it actually arrives. The commercialism is worse every year. Black “Friday” started in early November, or maybe even before. This year Cyber “Monday” became Cyber Week. I try to avoid it as much as possible, but I can’t go live in a cave and don’t really want to. Last year I tried to move away from the gift giving aspect by mailing gifts to extended family members. When we got together, it was for lunch at a nice restaurant. This year we’re going back to the restaurant but then coming back here to “open presents.”
The one part of the season that brought me joy this year was shopping for our “Christmas Angel.” Each year our church puts tags on a Christmas tree with the first name and age of a child, along with clothing sizes and toys the child might like. We choose a tag return the gifts to the church by the deadline specified. The gifts are turned over to whatever agency we’re working with that year and then given to the child. I also like supporting a local toy drive.
Oddly enough, the one part of your post (and the reactions to it) that I found comforting was the part dealing with the recent election results. We may all be far-flung, but we have something important in common. It cheers me to know that other people out there reject the evils of unbridled greed and hatred.
Donna, your posts have inspired me for many years. I wish you, your loved ones, and everyone here true joy and hope, and all the determination we will need in the coming year.
PegF, you are not alone in your struggles about Christmas. The older I get, the more I realize that all this Santa Claus-ing has pushed aside the religious observation of the birth of Christ. Most public schoolchildren have absolutely no idea about the real meaning of Christmas; they think it’s all Santa and the Grinch and getting loaded up on toys and presents and candy. IMHO, Santa has become a god of Materialism. It bothers me that we all lie to children about Santa.
It bothers me even more that so many kids don’t go to church or learn about Jesus or God or anything. No wonder our country is in such sad shape that it elects evil, greedy and hateful people; the majority appears to have turned away from God.
Blessings to you and may you be strong in the coming months and years.
Thank you. I wish the same for you.
As I recall, the 19th-century poet and priest Gerard Manley Hopkins said only these two words to someone who was complaining of disbelief, a dark night of the soul, etc.: “Give alms.” So that’s one way I’m fighting the post-election blues: donating to charities that are dear to my heart, especially Planned Parenthood and various environmental/scientific charities. And, as Donna is doing, I’m also striving for acts of kindness in my personal life.
Stlll, I too am feeling the post-election blues and the bleak-midwinter blues and the widowhood blues and all the rest of it. But I’m gonna keep “acting opposite” (i.e., fighting back) as long as there’s breath in my body.
Thank you for those two words ,”Give Alms.” Maybe that’s why I felt uplifted splitting up my designated charity money to my favorite causes: the no-kill cat shelter here in town, a children’s gift charity our local newspaper supports and a name from the giving tree at my church’s…a 3 year old boy who is residing in a shelter for homeless moms and their kids that our church supports.
Thanks for putting those two words out there. I want to remember them in times of trouble.
A. Marie,
Thank you for supporting Planned Parenthood. Our local PP saved my friend’s life. In the pre-Obamacare world, she did not have health insurance but she went to PP for her annual checkup. They found cervical cancer, and helped her get treatment. Had she not gone, it would have kept growing and she would have died.
When the right-wingers proclaim they are going to de-fund Planned Parenthood, I think of my friend.
Good to see your words Donna, i wish you a lovely holiday with your family and friends! I am headed to my Stepmom’s today for a lovely meal and old Christmas movie – just she and I. Tomorrow I will go to a friends for Chinese take out and my homemade cookies for dessert – we play bingo and other games and just have a lovely time enjoyed in company of friends.
I feel the same re: election. I’m not watching the news, and just trying to avoid it all so as to protect my own mental health. My Father is a HUGE trumper and disowned me after the 2020 election, because I didn’t vote the way he wanted. He’s of the assumption that he can still tell me what to do, and I am not having it- so it all brings back a lot of PTSD.
The people who voted for him only because they think their grocery prices would go down are in for a very rude awakening! 75% of people do not understand what a Tariff is, or how it works. As I have worked in import business over 25 years – I know what’s coming.
Cheryl, I am sorry you have lost your relationship with your papa. Sending you a virtual hug! I agree that folks are in for a rude awakening, and I wish you the best.
I have missed you so much, Donna. Although I disagree with you politically, I have always admired your writing and your frugality.
My computer went haywire about 2 years ago, so I have not been able to follow your wonderful blogs. I spent a good amount of time looking over your posts after purchasing a new one.
I fell down while removing outdoor decor, vowing to never, ever decorate outside again! Hurt the tailbone so as a result, so I am alone this year as I cannot sit in a car for long periods nor can I host everyone here. Not to worry: I have videos I have not yet seen, a pumpkin pie in the freezer, and an electric heating pad.
Christmas means “give” to me, and as C.S. Lewis once said that if you’re not giving until it hurts, you’re not giving enough. I think of those poor people wiped out by the hurricanes, the people in war-torn lands, those hurting financially through job loss etc. and then I think of the return lines on the day after Christmas filled with unwanted gifts and It makes me angry that we are so concerned with material crap…yes crap!
I am on strike. No presents except to children with a caveat that they not be made of cheap plastic and must be wanted/needed. Am I turning into a Grinch? No, I am filled with joy at the coming of Christ. I just hate the idea of going into debt.
I am looking forward to a new year with you and Merry Christmas!
Christmas is about simple pleasures at our home too. I co-manage a year around Gathering Table food stand, so I hand out overstocked pantry items and ugly fruits and vegetables donated from local food markets twice a week all year long. Mind you, I am in the Midwest, so people are amazed we exist all year around! But hunger and job losses and evictions so on all year around. Every year, I make up little treat bags with any donated treats like hot chocolate packs, candy bars, peppermint sticks and candles. I’ve found giving to others is the best way to spend time, especially around the holidays. Blessings to you Donna and to all your readers, from whom I learn much!
Like you, I am still in shell shock over the election. And very depressed! How can anyone vote for a convicted felon? And a totally immoral one at that. Who is bringing with him equally immoral people to run the government. I am not just afraid, I am TERRIFIED of what the next 4 years may bring. No protection for regular folks, including women and senior citizens and workers.
I signed up to receive my Social Security next year, first quarter, when I turn 70. I waited until I could get the most amount in my monthly checks. Unless you-know-who cuts SS, I will be in “high cotton,” as the old folks here in Texas used to say. I get 2 private pensions, work 2 PT jobs and SS….that will be a nice income. Can’t wait! (The SS people have told me that I will be “grandfathered” in, and any changes won’t affect me; I pray that they are correct, but frankly have my doubts.)
Right before Thanksgiving, my beloved doggie died. So the house is too empty and too quiet this year. All my relatives are likewise deceased. Thankfully, a sweet young married couple from church invited me to a Christmas Day reception from 11 until 2; they always invite those of us who don’t have families or places to go.
I actually put up the Christmas tree, first time in a decade. It’s a 1970s tree from Pier One, and I use my family’s old ornaments. So I did not buy any decorations. My regifting includes cleaning out a pretty olive jar from Aldi, one meant as a holiday gift and complete with red bow. Instead of olives, I have hard candies in it. The red bow makes it look like a festive gift from the mall, where they overcharge you for food items to use as presents. I also found a pretty jar from Goodwill, with a checkered ribbon and bow, same thing.
I’m working the p.m. shift at my retail job so I need to leave for that. It will be crazy busy but at least I won’t be here all alone on Christmas Eve.
If you all can’t have a merry Christmas, at least have a meaningful one. Christ is born!
It’s Christmas Eve afternoon and I’m missing my son gone too soon, my parents and my grandmother who helped raise us. I know from experience I’ll feel better when the doorbell rings around 6 o’clock and our kids and grandkids pile in. It’s just always Christmas Eve afternoon that’s hard to get through.
I’m frightened for all of us for the next four years…yes, even for those who put him back in the White House for I firmly believe most of them know not what they do. A 34× felon? A rapist? A molester? A liar? A thief? I could go on but those who are into reality see what I mean. I guess I’ll keep going to the ballot box whenever the occasion arises and cast my ballot for kindness, integrity and honesty as best I can.
Everyone who has commented before has said what I believe about Trump very eloquently. His campaign was full of lies and vitriol. The people who surround him are equally unhinged. In October, my husband and I were in South Africa for an international athletic competition for him. There were 167 different countries there. We met so many amazing people. What struck us was the fact that EVERYONE we spoke with were appalled and even angry that he would even be nominated again. They all said the USA is the laughingstock of the free world. I cannot imaging what they feel like now that the election is over.
That all being said, I love your writing and your approach to life. It is Christmas Eve here in Maryland. My birthday is tomorrow (yes, on Christmas). I need to forget about the nastiness of politics for a while and enjoy my family.
Good for you for waiting for social security until age 70. Both my husband and I waiting and do not regret it.
Please have a wonderful holiday and with DF and your family.
I am glad my parents and maternal grandparents, who escaped Russia by running to Germany and ended up in the camps and then displaced person camps for two years until they found a sponsor in the U.S., are dead. They were so thankful to be here and so sure this country was a beacon on light in a world of dictators. My father talked A LOT about how all the signs of Hitler and his future were there but people either didn’t believe it or secretly wanted a dictator who would get rid of all the filth who were not Aryan. They would never, ever have believed it could come to this. I have been depressed since the election and even more so when I see that this time his ineptness is going to be surrounded by those who have the attention span to cause real damage. I feel helpless so, like so many, I am concentrating on the local. I volunteer at the food bank and I give to the soup kitchen. I put the bumper sticker “Be a Dolly not an Elon” on my vehicle. I have a larder that is so stocked that I have to search for ways to add things that we can still eat if food and fuel get scarce–canned and dehydrated especially. We are not well off, but we have our mortgage paid off. We have some savings (although I shiver when I hear that they want to get rid of FDIC bank insurance, just like 1930 you know…) But I cannot bring myself to stop watching the news. In some weird way I feel like I owe it to my parents to pay attention, to write letters, to send emails, to go to local Assembly meetings. This is when our country needs us most. Resist. Your holiday plans sound peaceful and lovely. I make beef Wellington every Christmas Eve but this year we decided to make sandwiches! We went out and bought the meat and cheese cold cuts we each like, the breads we each like, and tomatoes and avocados. No cooking, little clean up and we can put our feet up and watch a Christmas movie. A total indulgence. Thank you for posting today and for writing every so often.
“Be a Dolly not an Elon” I LOVE IT!!!!
I’m with you, especially since reading a biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. He couldn’t understand why people were so willing to overlook the obvious.
Linda B. and I will be up in Fairbanks in May for the 8 x 10 Theater Festival. Maybe this time we can arrange a coffee meetup?
I did really well on the gifts this year. I got the perfect angel for my aunt from the free box at a yard sale and she loves it. They did a big Christmas Eve. I got some other free and cheaply found/thrifted/yard sale gifts too. My mom and I tackled her giant holiday card list, my tiny list, and wrapping right after Thanksgiving. The only thing that was annoying was holiday cookie plates for the neighbors, there’s only so far ahead you can do those.
I’m coming in late in this conversation and I, too, am terrified of what the presidency will look like.
I gave to my charities this Christmas and for the first time to Planned Parenthood. I used them a lot as a teenager and young woman.
I was a little down about Christmas but dh had a way of getting me out of it. His enthusiasm for decorating a red maple in the yard with string of lights just so made me smile. We are extra lucky that we have our children home: one from Annapolis and our son and daughter in law home from Korea. Enjoying dinners together, watching HGTV with my daughter in law, talking to my daughter and eating at home as well as some meals out. My great nephew was born on December 26th the same day as his daddy’s birthday. We are all so happy for the new edition.
I’ve de-subscribed from all the stores that I though of using or used. I don’t need anything to tempt me. I want to travel. Life is good.
Life can be very good indeed. I’m learning that the simplest pleasures are actually quite complex.
Thanks for reading, and for leaving a comment.