Meet a reader: FrugalStrong from Texas.

 

Like the first person featured in the “Meet a reader” series, FrugalStrong has also been the subject of a post on this site. I had the chance to meet her and her family when they traveled to Alaska. The result was an article called “Why aren’t more people frugal?” The title for that piece came from a question her husband posed during our frugal meet-up at a Carl’s Jr. restaurant (a location chosen for its big indoor playground).

When the 2017 Financial Blogger Conference took place in Dallas, she invited DF and me to stay for a couple of days, pre-conference. Their home is on a lake, and DF got a kick out of being able to swim in late October. Unfortunately, I came down with some kind of bug while I was there, which was mortifying, but she and her husband couldn’t have been nicer about it. 

Our recent phone chat was the two of us taking turns preaching to the choir. FrugalStrong and I have the same mindset: Save where you can so you can spend where you want.

Here, lightly edited for brevity and clarity, is that conversation.

Background: FrugalStrong, 45, lives with her husband, a commercial pilot, and their two kids in Fort Worth. An environmental engineer by trade, she suggested they save every dime of her salary once they were married, to get accustomed to living on just his paycheck. She switched to a modified work-from-home schedule after the children (now 10½ and 12) were born and ultimately stopped working.

Her husband’s job provides an excellent income, and their careful stewardship of that money has turned them into “the millionaires next door.” That’s a reference to a best-selling book called “The Millionaire Next Door: The Surprising Secrets of America’s Wealthy.” (As an Amazon affiliate, I may receive a small fee for items bought through my links.)

Their financial situation still shocks them, since both came from less-than-comfortable backgrounds: “We kind of pinch ourselves.”

A former triathlete and Spartan racer, she’s currently focusing on weightlifting. The photo at top left corroborates.

 

Tell us a little bit about yourself.

I love to read, I love to travel to new places. I’m a big couponer and big on the rebate apps. A lot of the stuff I can donate if we’re not going to use it. It’s a fun challenge to me to see what we can get for almost free.

I’m really big on volunteering. I was on the elementary PTA board for seven years, was president for one year and vice president for four of them. I deliver Meals on Wheels every week. We volunteer at a mobile food pantry every couple of months. We do the litter cleanups around the city. I also do additional volunteering at the school district, and my husband works with a neighborhood group.

 

What got you interested in money? 

I did not grow up with a lot of money. We were on assistance for part of our childhood. We had food delivered to our house, we didn’t have a car until one got donated.

Things got better in high school but still… I’ve known from a young age (that) I needed to be financially stable. I didn’t want my kids to have to answer the phone and say, “Mommy’s not home” to the bill collector.

I was 17 when I graduated high school and started college. The only food I ate was on campus during the three meal times. I walked or got rides to go places. I’ve always not had a lot of money so I worked with what I had.

Once I was out of college I made a good salary, but I always lived below my means. I made a spreadsheet to track my spending when I was 21 and I still use it to this day. I helped a neighbor budget; she had a very different personality than I did, so I kind of said, “Hey, you’ve got to know what you have.” She was someone who struggled a lot with buying things for people to get their approval. In some ways her eyes were opened, but she was also dealing with ingrained behavior.

There was a time when I was on Instagram, about fitness and frugality. I would have people reach out to me and ask for my spreadsheet. So I’d make up a dummy version of my spreadsheet. It was nice, over the years, that if people were interested I could share a starting point.

My categories are very specific: Regular job, income from rental houses, tax refunds, miscellaneous income. For spending, our regular monthly expenses: water bill, stuff like that, and non-regular expenses like entertainment and gifts and eating out, hobbies and activities, school-related expenses, personal care.

Do you call it “frugality”?

I kind of think of it as being a good steward of my money. Being aware, living with awareness. Being aware of what you’re doing with your money and what your money is doing for you.

I’m not into having a lot of stuff. I wouldn’t call myself a minimalist, but I don’t have stuff under the bed, I can open a closet door without things pouring out. We have what we need. When you have a cluttered living area, you can feel overwhelmed. That can trickle over to your money.

If you’re aware of your surroundings – your money, your home – it gives you more peace.

What’s the “why” of your money habits?

Part of it is because of my childhood experiences: Having an innate need to feel secure. Being secure financially is my version of a security blanket. It makes me feel safe, it makes me feel secure.

Recently we had to replace the HVAC, and replace it in a rental house. [Some other issues occurred as well, such as needing a new roof on a rental and tree limbs damaging their fence during a storm.] My husband and I always talk about how a $50 unexpected expense would have been a financial hardship for our parents. We have these periods where tens of thousands of dollars will go out – and it’s always cash.

At least I know we have it. I know in reality that it’s fine, but I still struggle with the anxiety of it.

Describe your best frugal win(s). 

We have three houses: the one we live in and two rental houses. They’re all paid off. When we cut cable, we put that toward the mortgage. When I didn’t need to pay for preschool any more, it went to the mortgage. When we paid off our car, I put the payment toward the mortgage. Everything that we no longer had to pay for got added on.

Doing that a little bit at a time, and being super-consistent – people underestimate the impact of small, consistent habits over time and having zero debt is huge. Having zero debt lets us absorb the unexpected expenses, and it lets us help other people.

My favorite thing is being generous. We have causes that we give to, but I love that spontaneous generosity. We paid to put a little free library in front of our school so kids could access books during the summer.

Or there’s a YouTuber I like who teaches junior college and spends her own money to buy snacks for the students. She put up an Amazon wish list and I got a ton of (snacks) sent to her. Stuff like that, where it’s not necessarily a lot of money but it makes me feel good to be able to do that.

How do you keep spending on track?

Right now, one of my biggest frugal hacks is using a salvage grocery store. I go there first to see what they have, because it always changes. Once I go there, then I go to the (naval) commissary to fill in the gaps, and do the loss leaders at Kroger and Albertsons.

I like to challenge myself: How long can I go without a big grocery order? The fun, easy stuff is gone; now we actually have to make real meals.

I don’t buy a lot of snacks. I don’t keep crackers and cookies and chips in the house. That kind of helps keep costs down.

I’m really big on finding free and low-cost activities. That’s one of the advantages of living in a big city: There’s lots to do that doesn’t cost anything. You just have to find it. [For example, her kids are in the summer reading program at four local libraries.] Parents over-schedule too often. We stick to one (extracurricular activity) at a time. I’ve never had a desire to schlep my kids around to 50 different activities. 

Is it easy to be frugal where you live?

We’re in a very large metropolitan area so we have access to a lot of stores. Within a couple miles we have a Walmart, which I use for couponing and apps. I’ve got Albertsons, Kroger, Target, Walmart, Dollar Tree, Dollar General, CVS, Walgreens – they’re all right there.

The one downside to where we live is that it’s a very car-centric area. It’s not very walkable in terms of getting to your errands.

Our winters are mild, but it gets very hot here in the summer. Air conditioning is important, but people get shocked at what I keep my thermostat at. I’ve kind of trained my family. You just kind of get used to it.

Worst money mistake? 

When I was single, I bought a timeshare. I think I had it for about three years. I don’t even know how I ended up going to the presentation but I totally fell for it hook, line and sinker. I did use it a few times, but I’m just grateful that I was able to get out.

What do you splurge on? 

It’s gotten a lot harder to (fly) standby for the past few years. We got a Rapid Rewards Southwest credit card and have been using points to get tickets. They’re short on pilots and flights are canceled or delayed, and all the seats that would have been available for (standby) are now gone. It’s important to travel, but we don’t travel fancy. I’ve always been a budget traveler.

In the past year, I’ve been getting a monthly facial. I pay for so many visits upfront, so I get a discount. That’s a splurge. I also buy a protein shake once a week that I don’t make at home. I’ll usually treat myself to one of those, but I can only get it if I have cash on hand that I got from selling stuff. [She’s a big fan of consignment stores.] It’s a fun challenge.

We all go to the chiropractor once a week. I’ve been doing that for four years. Insurance could cover a little bit, but not as (often) as we go. We pay for a year upfront and we get a family discount and for paying in full.

What splurges don’t interest you? 

I clean my own house. I’m grateful we have a one-story house that’s a reasonable size.

I’m not into makeup, I’m not into jewelry, I’m not into clothes. If I do buy clothes, there’s a great women’s resale shop.

I’m not into cars; my car is 11 years old and I love it. I’m not a shopper for the sake of shopping. I’m not into expensive beauty products. I color my own hair.

Honestly, I really don’t need much. I don’t replace stuff unless it needs to be replaced. Our washer and dryer are 15 years old. Our dishwasher is 22 years old. The dishwasher was in the house when we bought it. Is it the quietest dishwasher? No. But it works.

A couple months ago our oven suddenly stopped working. The repairman said the motherboard was bad and he could send it in and we’d be without an oven for a couple weeks, and it would cost a couple hundred dollars. Or we could replace it. I looked it up and holy moly, wall ovens were like $2,000! And ours was a weird size; they would have had to cut into the cabinets. I was willing to be inconvenienced for three weeks. It was totally worth it to me.

You see a $100 bill on the sidewalk, and…?

Knowing me, I’d probably stick it in my wallet and forget about it for a while. My first thing would be to look around to see if anyone’s panicking that they’ve lost money.

I’d probably use a little of it to treat myself or the kids, and use the rest to do a surprise blessing. Like I see someone pumping gas and ask if I could pay for it. Or to leave an extra-big tip for someone, or give it to someone who needs it.

Any frugal tip(s) to share? 

Sweat the small stuff. It all adds up! Those little tiny trickles turn into a bigger stream. If you have the small stuff under control, you’ll automatically have the big stuff under control.

There’s this great program we did for Advent one year. This speaker said people think unless they have a ton of money to give, or a ton of time to give, they can’t help their communities. But every little bit helps! He called it “holy moments.”

In our household we talk about, “What was your holy moment today?” If everyone did one holy moment every day, what a huge difference it would make in the world. It changes your mindset. I tell (my kids) that this is why you want to be financially secure: You can do what you want and you can help other people.

Making smart financial decisions isn’t just so you have a big pile of money. It gives you more choices and options in life, but it also lets you be super-generous with others. You can open up your heart as well as your wallet to help others.

Track every penny. It’s not a selfish thing to take care of yourself and your family first, but it will help you to open up to others down the road. Take care of your own household first, and you’ll get to the point where you’re able to relax a little bit more, give it a little bit more, enjoy it a little bit more.

Based on my childhood, I feel like I have the life I always dreamed of. I wanted to be financially secure, and I am. I love that I’m giving my children a good solid footing to go out in the world. It’s so comforting to be able to weather the storms, and it makes all the sacrifices in the past worth it.

Thanks, FrugalStrong.

*My offer to make you relatively famous still stands: If you’d consider being interviewed, leave a note in the comments or drop me a line at SurvivingAndThriving (at) live (dot) com and I’ll add your name to my list. For the ground rules, see “A chance to meet a reader.”