The winter of 2022-23 was colder and snowier than usual. DF didn’t mind the snowy part, since up to five days a week he used a senior-discount weekday pass at Alyeska Resort. Since I’m not into downhill skiing (or cross-country, for that matter), I declined to accompany him but was glad he was having such a good time.
I did not have a good time this winter. It was hard to stay positive through gloomy day after gloomy day, and super-easy to berate myself about that: You have a partner who tells you daily how much he loves you, and wonderful family and friends. To say nothing of a comfortable home, good food and a flex-schedule job you can do in your PJs. Why do you let the bad outweigh the good?
My mood has improved, because I finally was able to look deeply at what was really bothering me. Turns out it wasn’t just lack of daylight, but a combination of several other factors. Having been in therapy before, I was finally able to isolate those issues and look plainly at them. But this is an ongoing process, i.e., some days it was easier to eat my feelings than examine them. Which of course led to weight gain and additional dismay and also exacerbated a physical condition, which led to even more dismay/discomfort.
(Physical condition has been diagnosed. Won’t bore you with the details except to say that it is not life-threatening but will require physical therapy. On the bright side, that gives me something to blog about later on.)
But I knew none of this stuff mattered because spring was on the way! May and June are my favorite months here, and the nearly nonstop sun is a tonic that fixes just about everything.
Except that spring is still on the way. Maybe it got lost. Maybe it’s messing with us. Maybe it will show up in July. Whatever the reason, I’ve been referring to last month and this one “the spring that wasn’t.”