Our Christmas miracle.

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Early Wednesday afternoon, DF went to the medical center for a stress test. Generally, a Christmas miracle story doesn’t start that way but bear with me.

Lately, he’d been plagued by serious fatigue and breathlessness, and working his way through medical testing (blood work, EKG, etc.). The stress test was just the latest arrow in the quiver. Or would have been, if they ever did it.

But before they could get started, the medico noticed that DF’s heart was beating as few as 20 times per minute. The average adult’s resting heart rate is between 60 and 100 BPM. Into a wheelchair and off to the ER in the adjacent hospital, from whence he called to report that nurses and doctors were “swarming him.”

Soon after that, he called to say they wanted to implant a pacemaker –and they’d given him the option of doing it then and there, so he could sleep in his own bed that night.

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Do we need a little less Christmas?

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santa-claus-for-christmas_w128(Happy Throwback Tuesday! It should be “Throwback Thursday,” but I’m in charge here. This Christmas article originally ran on Dec. 27, 2012, and I believe its message is still relevant. In these inflationary times, it might be more relevant than ever.)

A reader responded to “I’m dreaming of a stripped-down Christmas” with a description of her 7-year-old’s Yuletide experience:

“There are so many gifts from extended family, it actually stresses him out to open them – usually there’s a good one in the first two or three and he wants to stop and play with it, not have it taken away and have to open 10 more things.

“It looks like ingratitude, and that’s a little of it – we’re lucky to already have everything we need and most of what we want, so he’s not that into new stuff – but it’s mostly sheer overwhelm at being the center of attention and having so many people around and then having to switch focus every moment.”

I saw a bit of that myself on Tuesday as I watched a young child open a massive pile of presents. He was a little stressed and cranky by the time he was through. In fact, he had to be coaxed into opening the last few packages.

When my oldest great-nephew was a toddler he was well-nigh buried in loot on Christmas morning. At one point he was nearly in tears, saying “No more!”

No more. Would that have happened when you were small?

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Giveaway: $25 Amazon card.

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We’re getting down to the wire, Christmas-wise. Would a $25 Amazon card help?

Even if you couldn’t get the gift shipped by Dec. 25, you could wrap up a “watch this space” card and promise to hand over the present as soon as it arrives.

Or maybe it’ll be a Christmas miracle and the gift will arrive on time. You won’t know unless you try. 

Maybe you’ve already finished your shopping, or perhaps you don’t do holiday gifts. That $25 card could still come in handy for:

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Moose in the curriculum.

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Some high-school biology classes require you to dissect a frog. In Alaska, the stakes — and the steaks — are a lot bigger.

The following video, shot at Chugiak High School, shows freshman science students field-dressing a bull moose. Well, mostly field-dressing it: The animal had already been gutted before being transported to the school. 

Warning: If you can’t stand the sight of a dissected frog, you might want to skip the video. It’s not gruesome — no guts, remember? — but it’s graphic.

Chugiak is an unincorporated community about 20 miles north of Anchorage. Technically it’s part of the municipality of Anchorage, but both it and nearby Eagle River have their own identities (and zip codes). One of the Chugiak High School’s science teachers decided to go beyond preserved (or plastic) frogs to teach, uh, gross anatomy.

 

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S#!t my boyfriend says: He just won’t stop.

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Recently I read an article about feral hogs from Canada that might spread into the United States. Given my partner’s punny tendencies, you’d think a “Canadian bacon” joke would be forthcoming.

Nothing that simple issued forth, however. Instead, DF claimed there’s a group that wants to save those poor, downtrodden swine: “It’s called ‘Hamnesty International’.”

As regular readers know, my partner and I adore wordplay. They also know that every so often, I publish a collection of his best (worst?) efforts.

The habit was inspired by the “Sh*t My Dad Says” books/Twitter feed/television show. [As an Amazon affiliate, I may receive a small fee for items bought through my links.]

Obviously I don’t share all his puns. Some are too local, and some are too naughty. But some of them are too good (bad?) to keep to myself.

If you aren’t a fan of the lowest form of humor, you might want to stop here. The rest of you know what you’re in for, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Here we go:

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Giveaway: $25 Regal gift card.

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Wait…Didn’t I just have a movie gift card giveaway? Yes, I did. Now I’m having another one. This time around, it’s for the Regal theaters chain.

You might need to get away from it all after a little too much holiday family togetherness. And if times are tight right now, you could either sell the gift card (it’s a physical one) or give it as a holiday present.

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Always check clearance. Always!

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When visiting my daughter in Phoenix, I walk as often as possible. In part, that’s because I’m nowhere near a gym* but it’s also because (a) it gets me out of my daughter’s hair for a while** and (b) in the winter it’s such a delight to see sidewalks without ice.

By foot, it’s about one mile to a Walgreens. I always go in, even if I don’t need anything (or need to use the bathroom). That’s because my rule is always to check clearance. Most of the time I don’t find anything, but sometimes I score.

Last month, I scored big-time: three two-packs of replacement brush heads for our Sonicare toothbrush. They were Walgreens brand, but they fit. (I called DF to make sure before I bought them.) Each two-brush pack cost me 70 cents, or 35 cents apiece.

Typically, these brush heads cost anywhere from $1.99 to $13.74 (!) apiece. In other words, 468% to 3,825% more. Wow.

My dentist is happy. My budget is happier.

Clearance is (sometimes) your friend

It sounds like such a no-brainer. Such a simple thing to do. But it’s not true for everyone.

If you didn’t grow up watching someone sort patiently through piles of dross in hopes of finding a diamond, then “clearance” might be foreign territory to you.

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Giveaway: $25 AMC gift card.

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The winter holidays always represent a big Hollywood push. Whether the films are about any actual holidays doesn’t matter. Studios know that plenty of people are looking for a bit of escapism at this time of year. Some want to get away from the relatives who have descended. Others want to sneak away from the … Read more

Life as a personal grocery shopper.

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We found chicken for less than 12 cents per pound yesterday, a discovery too good to keep to ourselves. Instead, I did what I always do: Texted my niece and my neighbor to see how many packages they might want. While I never wanted to be a personal grocery shopper, I can’t keep deals like that to myself.

Those poultry deals were five-pound-plus packages of chicken drumsticks for 64 cents, and boneless, skinless, organic chicken breasts (2½ to 2¾ pounds) for $1.28 apiece.

We left the store with a lot of chicken. It helped them, and it helped us reach our goal of getting a free turkey* through a store offer.

Sharing deals is a sort of frugal ministry for me. Maybe it could be for you, too.

I’m not saying you must do this every time you hit the store. Or maybe at all, if it doesn’t fit your current life. But given how expensive food is getting, think what a gift this could be to others. 

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Should you get a store credit card?

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Black Friday is upon us, and retailers are ready not just to sell, but to lend.

That is, they’re ready to talk you into getting their proprietary credit cards. When you shop in-store, you’ll almost certainly get asked when you pay for your purchases. If you’re shopping online, a pop-up ad will probably follow you all the way to the “pay now” button.

The introductory offers may sound tempting. (Zero interest! Deferred interest! 30% off your first purchase!) But is a store credit card the best choice for you right now, or ever?

That depends. Store credit cards may have their place, especially for those trying to build or re-build credit, but they aren’t always a good idea.

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